I personally thought the funniest were ones such as:
Ernie:Look at that, sleeping in the street, pitiful.
Bum:If I had a house, I'd sleep in it!
Lars:Ernie, I just got a chill, you shouldn't talk about pop like that.
Ernie:Really, what's this do for you, THANKS FOR NOTHING, YA STRING-SUCKING, OLD LOON!
That's all I can think of for now but I'll come back.
The line I laugh at the most is when Caesar's tape is playing, and Lars and Ernie hear everything that happened with the mouse, and Caesar says "That tickles!" before something very bad obviously happens.
sharei like it when they bring caesar out of the house and he's tied in the stretcher and he's like, "whoos! feeeelish! I won't eat it!" and then he makes all these weird noises. and when lars is talkin to ernie about him and april getting back together. "....in a way i've only ever seen in nature films!"
share"I won't eat it!" is the best part. Christopher Walken's great in any movie.
sharei could never figure out exactly what he says
but in my own mind i assumed he said "horse ? whats that ? i wont eat it"
which made that scene even more insane that it obviously is
Ernie: We're looking for a cat. And preferably with a history of mental illness. I'm talkin' one mean pussy.
share[deleted]
Ernie: [bowing to the Sheik at the auction] Hakuna Matata.
...that was when i reaslied he was the voice of timon in the lion king and after that i became a hugh fan!
Thunderbirds Aren't Slow
The actor playing the shiek does the voice of Pumba in the Lion King, so it's a bit of an in joke and another dig a Disney.
shareChristopher Walken coming out of the house on a stretcher and chattering his teeth like a mouse I won't eat it! and Nathan Lane when buying the cat, saying we have mice the size of Sumo wrestlers.
shareActually, the Guy who sells them the cat at the animal shelter (Ernie Sabella) was the actor who provided the voice for Pumbaa, Not the shiek...still, its a hilarious line.
share[deleted]
Definitely the funniest line in the movie:
Cat Shelter Owner: [referring to Catzilla] : "Funny you should ask. I had all but given up on anyone wanting him. We were about to gas him . . . . . again."
Hilarious. I didn't pick up on it until the fifth time I watched it. The whole character of Catzilla was great.
Lars: "I don't believe it. He snapped the trap, ate the olive and left the pit, just to mock us."
Ernie: "I think you're giving him too much credit. Mice don't mock. They haven't the sense of humor or irony. It's not like he's wearing a smoking jacket, sipping cognac and giggling to himself, 'I left the pit!'. The trap snapped itself, the olive flew off and he ate it. It's that simple. But now that he knows we're here, he won't come within a mile of us. I don't think we'll be seeing anymore of that MOUSE! (this moment at the end is very funny)
(their father, Rudolf, has given them a piece of string)
Ernie: "Here, Lars. You take it the first fifty years and I'll take it the next...and turn up the morphine drip a little."
Rudolf: "I heard that."
Personally, I think the funniest lines in the film are when Nathan Lane & Lee Evans don't actually say anything. It's the scene where Nathan Lane has just been blown out of the house into the frozen lake & Lee Evans has has the wadrobe fall on him. Al they do is gesticulate & whimper. Bloody hilarious. 8-)
shareI love this movie so much! That scene is the funniest part of the movie especially at the end of it, when Lars shows his hands and weeps and Ernie says: "Ah!". But if you have the DVD, look at the scenes, none of them should've been deleted, not one! But, check out the scene where Caesar is looking in the attic, he has the headset on, all the way up and has the mic checking the movements of the mouse, the mouse blasts that spanish music on the microphone. Caesar screams and the look on his face is hilarious and he looks like he's dancing. Great underrated genius comedy!
Ernie: Hey, Lars, you smell that?
Lars: (shaking his head no.)
Ernie: (under his breath) Smells like gas.
Lars: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Ernie: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!1
Lars into the Wardrobe
Ernie in the air: OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
[deleted]
Ernie: "SEE YOU IN HELL, MOUSE!"
These aren't lines but I love the way Lars jumps around and screams like a little girl when he sees the mouse in the cereal. Then he accidently breaks the broom over Ernie's head and screams again. Then Ernie grabs the cereal box and starts smacking Lars over the head with it and it's just raining cereal into the camera.
I also love the part when Lars accidently hits Ernie's hand with the mallet and then tries to blow on Ernie's hand like that's gonna make it all better and Ernie grabs the broken piece of broom and hits Lars in the stomach with it and Lars is just kneeling there with the wind knocked out of him.
Thirdly, I love the look on Lars' face as he light the match by the fireplace and the gas explodes. He's sitting there screaming at the match as the flames are spreading everywhere. "YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Phew! That's all I can think of right now.
"A world without string is chaos"
When Lars wife is packing a suitcase,He says "Please don't go."She says "I'm not going anywhere."Then it shows Lars on the porch with the suitcase.
They don't really say anything, but I love the part when Ernie is blown into the lake, and when he gets back in, he and Lars make weird gestures and wimpers to tell each other what happened.
You see that yellow stuff? That's my awesomeness.
All of the aformentioned are great though I love when:
the fat buisness tycoon upon first inspecting the house and being turned down storms off saying to Lars and Ernie:
fat rich guy: you two are not as stupid as you look (storms off)
lars and ernie: (immediatly leaning forward, smiling) thank you.
Gets me everytime lol.
Ernie (referring to the purchase of the bath tub):
"They through in the cardboard lady to sweeten the deal!"
and...
"Spoons, spoons! So many spoons, so little time."
He's Hitler with a tail. He's "The Omen" with whiskers. Even Nostradamus didn't see him coming!
shareI love the part when um...the really fat rich guy who loves LaRue is at the door and tells them he's never paid more than ten million for a house, and Ernie and Lars just kinda stand there with stupid grins on their faces.
"Darling, nothing is final 'til you're dead, and even then, I'm sure God negotiates."
when ernie says to that shrik Hakuna Matata, and it finally dawned on my that voice i'd been sercing for in my head was from the lion king, and at that moment a nathan lane fan was born
Thunderbirds Aren't Slow
[deleted]
"Oh, poor little Catzilla. You wanna get out of here dont'cha? Well, your gonna have to kill for it. KILL, KILL, KILL!"
"You're a stupid cat aren't ya? Yes you are. And your ugly to-" Catzilla tries to kill them.
"There you go. Blaming everybody but yourself. You think you're a success. Well you....can't....COOK!"
"I hate you."
"I hate you."
"Not as much as i hate you."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Double! Double! Oh, give me something.....i'll show you...Yeah! Throw it! Throw it!"
Lars beans the mouse with the orange.
"You killed him!"
"I didn't even know he was there!"
"Just think of all the trouble we coulda saved ourselves if we just threw fruit at him in the first place!"
After Earnie brings up the idea of the auction and is talking with his brother under the staircase, the collector is so angry at the effeminate expert that he almost hits him when the brothers come back. I love the way he keeps interupting him.
"What is this?"
"I-I,"
""No."
"This is the first i've heard of it."
"No."
"The lady from New York bids $18 million."
"You don't have that kind of money."
"It's so unfair the way they blamed everything on you."
"I know. Society always needs someone to blame, someone to point to. A scapgoat. The same thing happened with Galalaio."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"With a cocroach and everything?"
"No!"
"911 call. No voice but screaming in the background. We found him locked in a trunk in the attic."
The recorded torturing of Ceasar was brilliant.
" Booom! Crash! "What's that? Put that down!" Sounds of tape "AHHH, That tickles". BOOM!"
"I don't think we're dealing with an ordinary mouse."
Of course the looks on their faces, their gestures and the sounds they made after Earnie flys into the pond and Lars into the cabinet.
"No crepes."
"No crepes? But that's just grilled cheese. What's the point? Alright, which one of you palateless sheep brought back my sandwhich?"
"Ah you brought the little ones. The little bicycle thieves."
"Duck A La'Orange avec du quack sauce."
"No we have huge mice. The size of sumo wrestlers and many of them. We need cat preferably with a history of mental illnes. I'm talking, one mean pussy."
(Ernie has been hit by a bus)
Lars: Ernie are you ok? I came as soon as I heard!
Ernie: Why are you wearing a pink overcoat?
Lars: Because April gave us the $1200!
Ernie: Look at that, sleeping in the street! *tuts*
Guy: If i had a house I'd sleep in it!
(The mouse has gone up the chimney so Ernie goes after it)
Lars: Can you see him?
Ernie: Yeah I see him... aaaaaah.. Lars.. I'm stuck! Get me out of here I can't breathe!
Lars: I'll get a flashlight!
Ernie: Hurry! (the mouse releases the gas pipe)
Lars: Ernie, look I've got it! *flashes light*
Ernie: I can see that
Lars: Oh no.. hang on Ernie, the flash light's busted! (the mouse pushes matches and goes down a hole) Hey Ernie look! I have a light!
Ernie: Great! *sniffs* Can you smell that?
Lars: (tries to light match) Huh?
Ernie: Smells like gas
(flames appear) Ernie and Lars: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
(Lars falls into the china cabinet and Ernie flies out of the chimney into the freezing pond)
SPIDER PIG!! Loving the simpsons movie!
it's not so much a line, but during the auction, lars heads outside & finds the box the mouse was in & sees the hole &...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
i'm not sure why, but lee evans' scream makes me laugh until i'm very sore.
I LOVE L.D.!
Yeah the scream he odes when they first chase the mouse is good too. This may or may not be the funniest line but it was delivered so perfectly after they've caught the mouse and put him in th box:
Ernie: Ahhhh I forgot to put holes in the box (pause) hehehe