So for everyone who didn't 'get' it...
The whole 'Middle English in a modern setting' thing was not done to make you think that people in Florida somehow talked like it was 500 years ago. The whole thing was set up to create a completely different reality, with slightly different cars, guns, etc. It's not supposed to have a direct analogue to anything we know now, because it ISN'T 'now'
Shakespeare's stuff has been doe a million times in period clothing and on period sets. It's been done a million times with new titles and completely set in the world of today('10 Thing I Hate About You ring any bells?). It has never been done where the new meets the old and everything is mixed. Since it is more or less an alternate reality, then this works.
Of course, if you didn't figure this out on your own, I've probably totally wasted my time here, but I got this the first time around and figured I'd try and help out...