MovieChat Forums > The First Wives Club (1996) Discussion > Favorite lines?

Favorite lines?

posted 18 years ago by actress2414
51 replies | jump to latest

To the people who like this movie...what are all your favorite lines?? I'm curious to see!!

Here are mine:

"You have been yanked, and stiched, and stuffed and pulled...you're a turkey!!"

"I'm not Monique's mother. Angela Lansbury's Monique's mother. Shelley Winters is Monique's mother. Sean Connery is Monique's mother...Wait...I take that back. Sean Connery is Monique's boyfriend. He's 300 years old, but he's still a stud!!"

"My Morty becomes this big shot on T.V... He was selling electronics, right? On our 20th wedding anniversary it hits midlife crisis major. He starts working out, he, he grows a moustache, he gets an earring. I said, "Morty, Morty, what are you? A pirate? what's next? A parrot?" And all of a sudden I'm a big drag. I'm holding him back because I won't go rollerblading."

"My, my, the bulimia has certainly paid off!"

"Oh yeah, what did you ever win? A pie eating contest? "Best digestion?"

"Yeah, for once in your life make a decision? Who's your friend? Some Beverly Hills science project?"
"...Or a woman with her own aisle at the supermarket?"

"Bye bye love, hello poptarts!"

"You think just because I'm a movie star I don't have feelings. Well you're wrong, I'm an actress, I have all of them!!"

I love this movie!!

[–] jackknight007 18 years ago

hi there

these are my favourite ones:

Elise: Plastic surgery's like good grooming. It's like brushing your teeth.

Brenda: There she is. Princess Pelvis.

Ivana Trump: Ladies you have to be strong and independant. And remember: Don't Get Mad, Get Everything"

Brenda: (At the funeral) The Vampire Le Stat. And Louis.

I'll post some more soon.

[–] BackdoorBetty 15 years ago

Totally can't remember how exactly the line goes, but Elise Elliot:

There are three ages for women in Hollywood: babe; district attorney; and driving miss daisy.

[–] R0fanJessie 18 years ago

I love this movie, and I love that you started this thread. But, a couple corrections (at least, these are what I think) to two quotes:

"Oh yeah, and what did you ever win? A pie eating contest? Best digestion!"

"You think just because I'm a movie star I don't have feelings. Well, you're wrong. I do have feelings. I'm an actress; I have all of them!"

Other lines I like:
"What's the matter, Morty? Can't chya buy her a whole dress?"

"-I had guests." "-Who, Guns & Roses?"

"Look at me, I have a waist, I have legs, who knew?"

[–] IamMusic17 18 years ago

i could go on for hours and hours with this....

-This is just like mission impossible.
-Oh that was a big hit!

-I'm CLEAN!!! I'M CLEAN!!!!

-I know! Maybe you can write them each a nice letter. Or, or send a hanging plant?...Just a suggestion.

-And on such pretty sationary.

-Dad. I'm a lesbian. A big one.

-You were with that MAN again.
-Well he is your father.

-I'm very sorry that I ever met you. And I'm sorry that I allowed myself to love you for all of those years! I'm sorry that I did nothing but be there for you, for every minute, and every hour and do nothing but support you in your every move!!!!!!!! I'MMMMMM SOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

-Bill is so wrong. You are not satan.
-Oh, stop!

[–] 18 years ago

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[–] filmfan311 18 years ago

i ADORE this movie with my whole heart.

"if i give you any more collagen, your lips are gunna look like they got stuck in a pool drain."

"i want tina turner. i want... JAGGER! fill'em up!!!"

"THANK YOU,(brenda hangs up phone) bye bye!"

*elise chuckling evily into the scotch glass in the resturant after the funeral* gets me every time!

"this is a golden globe! its SACRED!!!" (thows it across the room)

"FORKKK." - Maggie smith

lol, sooo many more.

[–] pinkkouw 18 years ago

Every line Maggie Smith utters in this film is pure gold, but my favourite is:

"Don't they have enough?!" that facial expression is priceless!

I would have liked to see a spin-off about Gunilla Garson Goldberg - perhaps Uncle Carmine could have been in it?

[–] Aerial87 15 years ago

I have to say the Maggie Smith line does it everytime! "FORKKK!" LOL

Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them. I don't give a *beep* how crazy they are!

[–] aladics-1 15 years ago

LOVVVVEEED the movie of course
...and Maggie OMG she gives sooo much with so little screen time.
wonderful. my favorite from her:

Shelly: Can I say something?
Maggie's expression lolHAHAHAHA priceless

And almoust all of Goldies lines/expressions(when she tries to turn the vacuum on)
btw can u tell me from which movie is your quote? :)

"sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman,sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition"

[–] greenzirconia-513-585149 12 years ago

"Has she had work done?" "Honey, she's a quilt"

[–] dancekdesign 18 years ago

They actually made a mistake in one of the quotes.
*Oh yeah, what did you ever win? A pie eating contest? "Best suggestion?"*
is really
*Oh yeah, what did you ever win? A pie eating contest? "Best digestion?"*
Because Brenda eats so much.
Did anyone else catch that?

Skittles,Starburst, and Cho-co-la-te!

[–] shutterslut 18 years ago

"THANK YOU,(brenda hangs up phone) bye bye!"

I always LOVED that one, haha. God, it got me every time.

"Don't Shame me in the Synagog."

"I'M CLEAN! I'M CLEAN~!"

"Sign it 'Dana Fairbanks - Professional Lesbian'."

[–] TheLostWorldRocks 18 years ago

This makes me laugh everytime & the fact that she's ratted when she says it:

"I'm not Monique's mother. Angela Lansbury's Monique's mother. Shelley Winters is Monique's mother. Sean Connery is Monique's mother...Wait...I take that back. Sean Connery is Monique's boyfriend. He's 300 years old, but he's still a stud!!"

Think I'm going to watch this movie now!!! I love it!!!!

So long its bin 4eva,my heart belongs 2u & neva think tht Im not strong enough!

[–] PatriceLeGraisseux 18 years ago

ELISE IN THE BAR:
- do i look like a mother to you maurice?
- not like MY mother!
- so I thought....

BRENDA TO HER UNCLE
Morty the trash is my problem!

[–] 18 years ago

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[–] mcdunaqueen 17 years ago

"He brought HER...to my son's bar mitzvah!"
"Is she a gift?"

[–] achury88 17 years ago

hey!!!

and what about...

Brenda:(talking to Morty in the meat counter with uncle Carmine) "Hello sunshine"........."ummm...I see Bars"

[–] 17 years ago

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[–] charlie_hector 17 years ago

Elise: i drink because i'm a sensitive and highly strung person
Brenda: no thats why your co-stars drink

Annie: I'M CLEAN I'M CLEAN

Officer crabtree "i was pissing by the door when i heard a shat."