"I was really hurted that week" and more fun with the bridal gown (11-4)

On Friday 11-4, we were treated to the lovely bride who couldn't fit into her wedding dress. At one point (it might have been in the exit interview, can't recall) she said that with her wedding a week away, and the dress was not going to be ready in time, 'I was really hurted that week.' HURTED?

Now back to the case itself....

I was waiting for the following:

1. JJ asking Byrd:

"Byrd, i want you to try on the dress and see if there is Spandex inside."

Byrd would then reply in his best 'Arnold Drummond' impression:

"Wadjutalkin'bout Judy?"

2. JJ bursting out laughing at the bride with:

" A wedding gown made out of Spandex? That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. Maybe you should have gone to Dick's Sporting Goods and bought a camping tent for yourself?"

3, JJ turning to the defendant and saying:

"You think she could fit into that gown? She can't even fit one boob in there, never mind two."

4. JJ asking the bride, "Exactly how much do you weigh?" When the bride asks why that's relevant, Judy would say:

"I don't answer your questions - I ask the questions. Now it's easy to determine how much you weigh in front of 10 million viewers - we can pull out a scale and have you step on it with a close-up shot with our camera. Or you can just tell me how much you weigh and have the advantage of knocking off a few pounds in front of 10 million viewers. So instead of saying you weigh 550 pounds, you can say '500'. Otherwise the camera will zoom in on 565 pounds."

5. JJ telling the plaintiffs - "$750 for a custom-made wedding gown? You get what you paid for, I can't help you. Usually just the bridal bouquet cost $750, not a wedding gown. That's ridiculous."

6. JJ asking the defendant why he didn't line the inside with Spandex like instructed, and he responds:

"Your honor, there is not enough Spandex material in North America to give her enough stretch inside her gown."


I could keep going because this was too funny.....

"Splodey heads keep splodin' " - Sarah Palin, 7-1-16 