"Why? Was she yelling?"

Dude, we get. You hate Ray, and Debra is the long suffering wife. Let it go. It's a tv show.

Hiya

Yes, it's definitely sad what Deb has to endure and it does cause her to yell, but - just an observation - when Ray's behaviours are taken out of the equation; she still has something fiery in her nature that she doesn't take responsibility for. The amount of times I've seen her yelling and/or trying to destroy/stamp/kick something when she's mad, and this is without the usual wrongdoing from Ray/Marie - it's like she hates it if she's wrong and doesnt have someone to auto-blame; it backs her into a corner and she throws loud physical tantrums. Sometimes she does try to throw Ray under the bus, because she wants to maintain control and righteousness, just like he throws her under the bus because he wants to be liked.

Ray certainly is a catalyst for a lot of her yelling, I don't take that away from her, but she does play a part in her own reputation too - directly; because she has behavioural issues even when Ray is treating her well, and indirectly; because when it is Ray/Marie pushing her buttons, she chooses to stay and chooses how she reacts (like they say; you can't control what people do, only what you do).

I also don't think Ray spends enough time with the kids to be wholly blamed for brain-washing, when Deb does play her own part in what they see when it's just them at home. She's been at home yelling at them, under the common stress of keeping a house while raising young kids - and that's something she wanted and chose to do in life. If she wants to be seen differently, then it starts with her, even when she has other catalysts to blame.

Those are just my thoughts to round out the point you were making about Ray; I'm certainly not saying he's a prize or anything lol. I definitely agree Deb can never win - even with all my above thoughts, I know she's playing a losing game in that mad family! :-)