MovieChat Forums > Major Payne (1995) Discussion > Funniest Scene ever....

Funniest Scene ever....

posted 20 years ago by jace_versai
105 replies | jump to latest

This is, and always be one of my favorite movies. Damon Wayans is hilarious! My favorite scene in the movie has got to be when Payne is trying to become a police officer and they want him to defuse a make believe domestic situation with the two other cadets, and Payne grabs the man:

"DON'T *SLAP* NEVER *SLAP* HIT *SLAP* HER *SLAP* AGAIN! *SLAP* HEAR ME? *SLAP* HEAR ME? *SLAP* DO YA? *SLAP* DO YA? *SLAP* HUH *SLAP* HUH *SLAP* HUH?! *SLAP*"

And he ends up knocking the poor guy out!! What is everyone else's favorite scene??

[–] PatPig 20 years ago

my favorite part is where he meets the cadets for the first time-

"Opie": achoo!
Payne: Did I give you permission to sneeze, Opie?"
"Opie": "No sir..."
Payne: "Well then you hold it in you big-eared turd!"

also the part where he tells the little kid the bedtime story and ends up having a 'Nam flashback, great stuff

[–] Stacehoney72 17 years ago

Opie": achoo!
Payne: Did I give you permission to sneeze, Opie?"
"Opie": "No sir..."
Payne: "Well then you hold it in you big-eared turd!"

haha i love that part!

[–] Dorikin 20 years ago

I think the funniest scen in any movie has to be when he's tellin' Tiger the story of the 'Little Engine that Could' and he makes all those faces as he's describing Bubba. Genius.

Next time, I'll tell you what Bubba used for a penis.

[–] shady000 20 years ago

"you hold it turd or ill break it off and kick it on the ground"

[–] 20 years ago

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[–] DeadSetMisawa 20 years ago

-Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, what are you laughin at pig boy? Will I find a piece a candy in your pocket?

-One, tubby tubby....two, chubby chubby

-To be continued, next time I'll tell ya what Bubba used as a penis

[–] superbadass_26 20 years ago

Another funny scene is the scene with the closet:

*Payne shoots the closet repeatedly, after Tiger says there's a 'bad man' in there*

Major Payne: If he's still in there, he ain't happy....

[–] bikebryan 20 years ago

Tiger's reply to the counselor was the best in that scene:

Major Payne terminated the bad man in the closet with extreme prejudice...and if he's still in there, he ain't happy!

My favorite scene was the first time he met the deaf kid and asked him if he could read lips and understood sign language.

"If you don't answer me when I'm talking to you, I'll break my foot off in your *ss. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, DUMMY?"

All the while, he's pantomiming talking and kicking the kids butt.

Classic movie!

[–] sailorcora 20 years ago

I do think my favorite part has got to be the dress scene. When he had them dress in dressed.

Major paynes a major diss. . . " Greatest scene ever. Oh and when he's introducing himself to the cadets is a good one too. "Hold it or I break that off and kick it around on the ground. And the cop scene. Oh and the whole little engine that could and Williams rap. Oh and his dream. I think this movie is too funny to have a favorite scene. I've watched it at least a hundred times and I still laugh.

Wonder if anyone else feels the same way.

[–] zugzwangdragon 20 years ago

*Major Payne fires a couple of rounds into Tiger's closet*
"If that bad man's still in there, he ain't happy!"

"Uh, listen Jet. You said bell peppers and beef. Well, there's no beef in here. So you wouldn't really call it 'bell peppers and beef,' now would you?" - Spike Spiegel

[–] Reyburt 20 years ago

-"Why do i have to be the one who has to wear the dress?"....Cos you have the biggest tits!

-"What happend to the other dress you had on?"....errr...this ones prettier

"Hey!Don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because, this is just a ride-Bill Hicks"

[–] PrettyPrincessNene 17 years ago

My fave scene is when he is telling about the lil engine that could and goes to a flashback and says Bubba looked up at me and say Payne I cant feel my legs and I said Bubba they aint there! thats the funniest part ever! That and when tiger gives him a hug and he goes boy you kno i can break yo neck in 20 different places!LOL!

[–] Rikoshay 20 years ago

I like the part where he tells Tiger to go back to his room before the closet monster cuts his head off. Tiger runs away, and Payne turns to Ms Walburn and says, with the 'OK' hand gesture...

Sensi-tive!

[–] mvd102000 18 years ago

Oh my god the sensitive thing is pretty much the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.... Just the big smile and the fact that he tried his best and thats what came of it....

[–] f12eelance 20 years ago

naw, when tiger (?) goes n hugs paynes leg -"i love you, major payne.", n this look comes over his face rite b4 he puts lil man in the headlock "whats yo angle boy ? are ya plottin against me ?"

that or when he has the girl blow his whistle. haha . she blew his whistle

[–] AlecWingerd 20 years ago

"Apparently, he had a problem.."
"He Pissed all over his PANTS that's what.."
"That's just because he's Six!"
"When I was six I had a full-time job!"

[–] 20 years ago

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[–] TorontoJediMaster 20 years ago

I think that, hands down, it's his version of "The Little Engine that Could".

[–] Mr Parker 20 years ago

I remember laughing hysterically when the main group of kids got jumped by that other group. The fact that the other kids had the decency to take that one kid's glasses off before they punched him in the face was just too much for me.

"I think a plan is just a list of things that don't happen."
-Parker from "The Way of the Gun"

[–] Itallian_Stallian 20 years ago

Major Payne's a major Dick Makes us squat when we piss

the bit where they feed him the cupcake and when the boy walks past he farts and the kid collapses ROFL.

and the bit with heathcote in the dress.
Why do i have t be the girl?
cos you got the biggest tits!