MovieChat Forums > Exit to Eden (1994) Discussion > What a Master-Slave relationship really ...

What a Master-Slave relationship really is...


To make it clear straight off the bat, BDSM and sexuality is not what I am speaking of. A short, erotic/sexual experience that can only, or can, be achieved through BDSM is perfectly fine. It is an experience, not a life choice.

My comments are however directed at those "Slaves" who believe they are in a relationship of love, and in turn devote their entire life to acting in a demeaning manor according to their "Slave" status (including wearing dog collars at work).

This is also not directed at "Slaves" or "Masters" who are perfectly comfortable within their relationships, despite the obvious debate that can happen due to devoting your life to such a way, opposed to simply experiencing it in your passing life and living the rest of life according to your wishes rather than devotion. To those, I can simply compare you to Buddhists followers vs Buddhist monks.

But you, this isn’t directed at, I direct this question at those who believe they are in a relationship of love and understanding.

If you, the "Slave", were to stop being a "Slave", would your "Master" still love and understand you?

To "Masters", the same.

I do not care if you THINK it, I only care if you KNOW it.

If the answer is no, then you do not have a relationship, and are the perfect example of someone just pathetic and weak who needs justification and comfort for being a way you hate.

To those who say yes, congratulations. You have a great relationship.

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[deleted]

Oh reeeally?

Perhaps you could tell HOW I am wrong, rather than stating I am. Hmm?

My post covered it quite clearly, it was to do with relationships. You do not have a good relationship if one partner loves the other, yet the other partner doesn’t care for that partner.

Please, tell me EXACTLY how that is wrong? Your ignorant attitude of "not everyone has the same relationships as yoou!" doesn’t hold any weight when im talking about what a good relationship is.

If you work in a company and have a crush on your boss, yet he feels nothing for you, you do NOT have a relationship. You are just an employee with a crush. You are not in a relationship.

Nor are you in a relationship if you masturbate while thinking of another who does not like you.

If you are in a slave-master relationship, and it is only sexual gratification for the master, or slave, and were this to be removed (especially unintentionally), and they didn't care for you anymore...then its a BAD relationship.

And if the answer to whether or not he/she would love you if you couldn’t be a master/slave anymore, is no...then you do NOT have a good relationship.

Try again. :)

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[deleted]

Bzzt. Aww, sorry, wrong again.

Perhaps you can re-read my clearly explained posts. Your cute wittle rants about "different people want different things" has already been debated and shut down.

Try again? Cause, whoops...point still stands. Sorry if that makes you feel bad, deal with it.

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[deleted]

And you still continue. You wonder why there’s no debate if you won’t even attempt to refute my argument. I'm afraid "you’re wrong because I say relationships aren’t like that" is never going to be a valid argument. Now if it was "your wrong because (this), (this) and (this) show relationships aren’t like that" then perhaps wed be debating.

But if all you can do is bitch because im stating the clear fact that all you have come up with to "debate" me is to simply say im wrong and that you are right...then you’re not exactly proving anything.

If you cannot refute, or even justify your own conclusions in this thread, I suggest you stop bitching and accept the fact im right.

Unless you’re just another deluded fool who is trying to justify their relationship despite it meeting my criteria, I managed to justify and prove, for a bad relationship above.

Try again?

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[deleted]

So...again, you come up with "you are wrong because I say you are".

The explanation for my "theory" is clearly detailed and explained in my first post. If you have nothing to add but "you're wrong because I say so", instead of perhaps "you're wrong because of (this), (this) and (this)", then im afraid you aren’t exactly holding any ground in this debate. But no doubt ill get the same old attempts you've been continuously repeating.

Either explain how I am wrong or get out of the thread if you insist of actual debate yet fail to do so. It’s really not that hard.

Sigh.

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[deleted]

Sigh.

You seem...

"To make it clear straight off the bat, BDSM and sexuality is not what I am speaking of. A short, erotic/sexual experience that can only, or can, be achieved through BDSM is perfectly fine. It is an experience, not a life choice."

To have a hard time...

"My comments are however directed at those "Slaves" who believe they are in a relationship of love, and in turn devote their entire life to acting in a demeaning manor according to their "Slave" status (including wearing dog collars at work)."

READING MY POST!

Now you have gone from one fallacy to another. I suggest you actually READ my posts rather than simply seeing what you want to see, I quite clearly have specifically spelt out for you that the type of sexual ONLY relationship was not at all what I was even remotely speaking about.

I know you may be happy with your strawman and its accompanying failed fallacies, but its still not winning you anything. At least your attempting, still intentionally ignorant though it may be, to properly debate.

Try again.

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[deleted]

Dear GOD...you just can't help yourself can you. You must really need that blanket of ignorance you keep covering yourself with.

"You say that the only good D/s relationship is one where the love involved would still exist unchanged should the D/s not be involved.
My rebuttal to that involves people I know who are, or have been, in relationships in D/s where love was not the goal."

I repeat...

"My rebuttal to that involves people I know who are, or have been, in relationships in D/s where love was not the goal."

Once more...

"where love was not the goal."

For the umpteenth time, I suggest you ACTUALLY read my posts, or yours for that matter.

You are not speaking of anything ive originally addressed, in any way.

I repeat once *beep* more…

“But you, this isn’t directed at, I direct this question at those who believe they are in a relationship of love and understanding.”

That’s great for those in long term relationship that have no connection to love or understanding. Good for them, however (as for some reason you, despite claiming you’ve “read it”, still have yet to read my original post, I must again repeat)…

“If you, the "Slave", were to stop being a "Slave", would your "Master" still love and understand you?

To "Masters", the same.

I do not care if you THINK it, I only care if you KNOW it.

If the answer is no, then you do not have a relationship, and are the perfect example of someone just pathetic and weak who needs justification and comfort for being a way you hate.”

What you're fallaciously trying to argue now is a point I not only did not bring up in the context of this debate, but have now repeatedly said that is not what I have been speaking of. And is in fact a completely different debate even regarding relationships like this.

So if all you can do, after soo many posts of intentionally ignoring the debate and simply saying you are correct and that’s that, is now attempt to debate on a strawman...then im afraid the only person here who is ignorant and cannot handle the failure of their argument is you.

So please, pleeease...im waiting on this apparently reply and rebuttal of my original post. Which still stands, strongly and unwaveringly, and you’ve still yet to present even a remotely defendable standpoint.

You are exactly the type of person I spoke of in my original post. You claim all this experience and knowledge (you’ve yet to present this knowledge to defend your claims...and worst of all actually think your "experience" counts for anything on an internet debate, let alone in the face of judgements I stated in the original post) and yet cannot defend what should be a simple debate. In fact, what’s truly sad, is that all you’ve been able to present is a clear view that YOU yourself have been in one of the relationships ive originally described, and believe it was "really a relationship". opposed to simply being the one way (obviously not your way) satisfaction for another.

Either debate, or accept reality. Because doing neither is STILL not winning you anything.

So stop with the strawmans, the arguments where you fail to even address the debate and simply stand by the point (still undefended) that you're right, and for the love of the Gods...stop with this utter pathetic attempt at "ive lived this and have experience in these matters". It’s a fallacy and still has no bearing on anything...when will you people learn that this is the internet, claiming to be a brain surgeon means nothing.

So, instead of these sad attempts, actually debate. Because quite frankly, it’s really not that hard.

Mmmkay?

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Ah, I see. Blocking me so you won't have to answer to the failures of your argument, congratulations on that logical fallacy.

Cute. Id love to think that it wasn’t you who has replied below, but I very much doubt that. If it is you, well...what can I say...

I’ve specifically quoted you, word of word, and ive quoted myself, word for word, in response to very specific things you have said. The quotes themselves have shut down your very arguments and yet ive attached detailed explanations and refutations along with them. Just for good measure of course, yet you still manage to ignore them and claim you “are rightzors because I say I amz”.

If it really is too hard for you to just reply, especially in the face of your OWN quotes (you seem to have ignored those throughout this debate, you complain that you never said something or that it isn’t true and then never respond when I quote you word for word the very refutation of your argument from your very own posts), but please...blocking me is not exactly going to win you the debate. In fact, it’s pretty much quite clearly shown how much you dislike your previous "relationship" being dismantled by clear-cut logic. Sorry, until you refute me or at least defend your argument, you fail.

It’s sad, really.

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[deleted]

your point is applicable to relationship in general. Nothing to do with master-slave. There is a devotion, dependence on sex, practicality in traditional relations also. BDSM is just differnet external manifestation (due to differnet needs of people like homo, hetero, BDSM, etc.) but the core principles applying to relationships are same in all these cases.

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Yes I did!

My slave Charles was the best thing that ever happened to me.

A Master/slave relationship is about trust, and without that there is no relationship.

Naturally, we didn't wear our gear all day, every day, nor did he wear his collar in public (though he wanted to), and no, he was not my houseboy. We had lives outside the playroom, and only those who lived the lifestyle knew what our relationship really was.

Our life was based on love, mutual trust and respect. It was also about commitment. The night we met, I lay down the house rules, and they were the same words spoken to Abigail Adams by her husband John Adams. -- "There are only two creatures of value in this world, those with the commitment, and those who require the commitment of others."

Charles and I were together for ten years and four months. He died in my arms from a massive heart attack.

Yes, an S/M relationship CAN be about love, if it's with the RIGHT peron!

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Fan of the movie and not a participant in this discussion, but just wanted to say I found your story touching. I am glad you had found someone like that. I hope, if you wish to, you can find someone like that again.

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The movie was not made for true S/M partisapents. I simply had to correct a few misconceptions of that type of lifestyle. It is or should be just another form of love. If it's used to hurt people then the master/mistress has no right to be in it. What Eliot and Miss Lisa found was love, and that needs nothing else.

As for me, that door is closed, I've moved on to more basic things. And yes, I have found what I want. I'm very happy.

Thanks for the post.

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Lost me at 'true'; not even going there.

No problem. It is good that you are happy :)

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