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Has anyone had a sexual harassment problem at work?

posted 16 years ago by igotseriousskills
49 replies | jump to latest

I am not necessarily talking about something happening to you but in general about a problem with sexual harassment at work. At my work there has. I work at a restaurant and one of the dishwashers(male) would whistle when some waitresses and bartenders(female) walked by. I(male) personally only really experienced it once when a co-worker(female) casually asked me if I ever had sex. I was uncomfortable with that question so I told her assertively that the question was unwelcome and and I didn't have a problem with her later. Anyone else have a problem with sexual harassment at your work?

[–] faville-1 16 years ago

Not sexual harassment, but certainly sexual prejudice.

The office where I worked for years was becoming heavily female during the 1980's and after. It became harder and harder for male workers to get ahead. It was all tilted towards the distaff. The uppity, in-your-face aggressive women could get ahead no matter what other talents they had. It was discouraging. Luckily, I didn't care. I found it amusing.

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[–] by_candlelight 16 years ago

I work in a pub and one of the bars has a group of men in there who are all married with kids but act like fifteen year olds together. The things they say to me are gross.

They makes remarks about my big breasts all the time, once when I walked past a couple of them they asked me to give them a blowjob each, one walked into the backroom where I was doing desserts and was trying to get me to kiss him. Luckily mny boss came out and told him to get out.

It does annoy me, but I can't do much about it, they all back each other up, and most people say I'm reading too much into it and it's just lads messing around. I understand that, I have a little banter with my male collegues making rude jokes, but sometimes the customers go that step too far that they make me feel uncomfortable. But my boss (the landlord) can't ban them because he would lose a fortune.

Thank gawd I'm leaving there soon!

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[–] akira_2108 15 years ago

My boss is a 40 year old blonde woman with a face like a hyena matriarch who constantly attempts to grab my ass and love tap me. She once said: "you need to firm that up" when she groped me while walking by counters. I'm sure most men would be flattered but I was pissed off given how if the roles were reversed it would take only the word of a female collegue to get me fired. Also she is flatulent. Very flatulent

[–] ThoseLittleRabbits 10 years ago

if it pisses you off why dont you report her

i've got feelings too, ya know - inbetweeners

[–] borabosna-625-510324 9 years ago

Use an audio recorder and sue her. Who knows how many others she does this to. This cannot go on.

[–] SeisCinemaSeis 15 years ago

Nope, but I would be the happiest man on earth if someone as hot as Demi Moore were sexually harassing me every single day of the year!

[–] alcockell 11 years ago

I speak as a bloke who was sexually abused by girls older than me when I was 12. I'm also on the autism continuum - Asperger Syndrome - then undiagnosed (this was 1983-1984).

Believe me - you end up confused, scared, unable to process... I contemplated suicide several times, gained a LOT of weight to dull the pain...

And the socialisation was such that the idea of a boy being the vectim wasn't even considered... so the Silencing stage was where I was threatened by the girls that they'd go to the police/teachers if I told.

Dereailed my sexual development completely... and it's been a fight to slowly reclaim it..

Douglas's character was completely overpowered...

[–] Riding_With_The_Valkyries 15 years ago

Pussy

Only the dead have seen the end of war. Plato

[–] DreTam2000 12 years ago

Agreed. Pussy indeed..

I'm not a control freak, I just like things my way

[–] michael247 14 years ago

-no, i've never had a sexual harassment problem at work. for one everyone thinks i'm gay and i'm ugly.
-but in high school, i said no to going out on a dat with a VERY UNITELENGENT girl. a day later people from the photo class were asking if i was gay. even when i said no, they'd not beleive me. one girl knew, and she told me the UNITELIGENT told everyone i was homosexual.
-that one girl... we dated and laughed whenever people made fun of me.
-that is a short end of a huge story.
-the point is that there is always a spin.

take care.

p.s. sorry about the spelling.

[–] sawyertom 14 years ago

I had a bit of a problem with it. I had someone try to play that harrassment thing on me some years ago. The problem is I had witnesses to the contrary and they were female who said differently, thank God. I have always tried to be repsectful of others, and that is why it was kind of upsetting.

[–] Kroyall1962 14 years ago

What is now considered "sexual harassment" would have been pretty normal stuff back in the 80's or even the early 90's. True sexual harassment to me is discriminating against someone because of their gender or threatening their job unless they perform sexual favors.

Nowadays, any mention of sex, flirtation, certain language, fraternizing with a co-worker who may be in your chain of command, or even joking around can become sexual harassment. Sometimes firing someone for cause can be considered harassment if the "victim" can come up with a good story.

I have worked at some pretty wild places, but the behavior was consensual and nobody really complained. That would never fly today. We have become really good at creating "victims" in this country.

Needless to say, if you are a white male you are guilty until proven innocent. Of course most guys wouldn't file a harassment case like the moron in this film, they would just quit their job or get canned and do nothing.

[–] mmspaulding 14 years ago

It's happened to me a few times. I'm an attractive girl with large breasts. So when I was 17 my boss tried to kiss me and then told everyone we'd had sex (he was in his mid-20s), after high school I worked at a factory to make enough to move out on my own, and the entire time the men working there made obscene comments to me. Not to mention at that time the neighbor across the street was peeping through my windows at night, which he told me about when he saw me at the next job I had, which was a customer service job. At that job I had men come in and make disgusting comments to me about my breasts, ass, whatever. A few years after that I worked in a cube job and my supervisor had a crush on me and would tell me that he didn't like it when I came over to ask him a question because he would get hard.

SO basically I've been harassed at many jobs. I attempted to report my first boss only to be disregarded, and I've never tried since. My opinion is that it's still very much a 'boy's club'. It still happens everywhere, and many do not want to deal with the drama.

[–] manofsteel4455 13 years ago

I guess since so many women are always making false accusations of sexual harassment like in the movie its getting more and more difficult to believe women.

You want to play the game, you'd better know the rules, love.
-Harry Callahan

[–] borabosna-625-510324 9 years ago

Use a body camera and sue them. Do not give up.

[–] Busch_Light 13 years ago

I am in management and I often use my position to have my way with the young 20 something girls I hire. I make sure to only hire hotties and then I threaten them with their jibs if they dont put out. Afterall I need to get some pretty reg.

[–] DreTam2000 12 years ago

LOL!

I'm not a control freak, I just like things my way

[–] Splarne 9 years ago

then I threaten them with their jibs

you work on a cruise ship? that's a lot of seamen.

***

Go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!

[–] englisher101 12 years ago

I work at a restaurant and one of the dishwashers(male) would whistle when some waitresses and bartenders(female) walked by.

That shouldn't be considered sexual harassment. Admiring someone for their looks isn't the same as making sexual advances. It's not even discriminatory as far as I'm concerned; it's not like the dishwashers were in any position of power to determine the future of these waitresses.

I(male) personally only really experienced it once when a co-worker(female) casually asked me if I ever had sex.

I also fail to see how this is sexual harassment. It might have been too candid a conversation for your comfort, but this was just a friendly conversation between two co-workers from what I gather. It's not like your job was on the line; it's not like this question was being asked during a job interview.

[–] mark6785 12 years ago

sexual harrassment isnt just when your career is being affected Englisher101
theres many different forms:
1) career held back cos you didnt put out
2) constant "compliments" of nice tits! etc
3) aggressive behaviour because of rejection from 2)
4) i'm sure theres other manifestations i cant think of right now

I watched "He was a quiet man" the other day. He got threatened with harrassment because he looked down a cleavage. (probly wuldnt have held up, mind)

[–] englisher101 12 years ago

Understood, but especially if we take this one:

"co-worker(female) casually asked me if I ever had sex. I was uncomfortable with that question so I told her assertively that the question was unwelcome and and I didn't have a problem with her later."

^^ I can't possibly see how this is sexual harassment in any way whatsoever. If it's even in a gray area then I think we might as well avoid all form of social interaction at work.

[–] nutsberryfarm 12 years ago

when they put a stripper pole in my office? that was pushing it.

His name...was Julio Iglesias!