I didn't really watch the show a lot, especially in the later years.
Was Charlie the only one who had to give up his life so all the others could do what they wanted? Instead of the parents having it that he does it first, then when the next reaches 18, they take over the responsibilities, and so forth?
Was he the only one who had to put his own life on hold for years?
No. Bailey did before Charlie came back. You can see in the first or second episode that Bailey is the one in charge. Tells Claudia when to go to bed, says he forgot to pay the phone bill, etc. In the first season there's also an episode with the state coming in to check up on them and the visit is less than satisfactory. Claudia gets worried and goes down to speak with them and states something like, "Bailey is 16 and on Friday night he babysits." And I don't quite understand what the room arrangements were when the parents were alive, but they show that Bailey now shares a room with Owen (can't imagine the parents would have had it like that).
shareI thought Bailey was younger and went on to college (for his choice of career) after he graduated high school.
Did any of them work in the restaurant (I mean long-term) or just Charlie?
Bailey was younger than Charlie, but 2nd oldest, and yes, he does go to college.
Later on Bailey takes over running the restaurant.