I always used to be very emotional and cry at anything even slightly upsetting. Then my first boyfriend who I thought I was in love with cheated on me with several people, guilt tripped me into not dumping him, told others I was manipulative, didn't even hide the fact that he was chasing after some other girl and only finally broke up with me when he thought he had a real chance with her (so basically manipulated me into staying with him until he thought he could do better, whilst making out that I was manipulating him). Anyway as he was breaking up with me I was crying so much, but as soon as he left I just stopped and haven't really been able to cry since.
I've had times where I've really wanted to cry to let some of the sadness out (not related to him, just when things go wrong), but my eyes have just welled up a little and nothing else. The only time I have cried properly since then was a few days ago when I was very drunk, and I'm not even sure to what extent I was properly crying. Anyway, so basically I think I am repressing emotions to protect myself from being in that type of situation and being so hurt again, I'm trying to work out what switched inside me to make me the opposite that I used to be when it comes to crying but can't work out why I changed then and not earlier.
In a way I do like it because it means I won't be crying over anyone who's not worth it (like my ex), but still, I find it a little disturbing that I just can't cry however sad I feel.
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Iconoclast321 (386)
4 years ago
I think when you get older you tend to cry less. Sometimes it just means you appreciate the moments when you do tear up over something. And you hope you don't have anything that would really make you cry, because it would have to be pretty extreme to bring that response out of you.
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