I guess everything is pretty much said already, but I just want to give my perspective, as I have visited, but not permanently lived in a country, where tipping is 'expected'.
I didn't even realize at first that it was - I was, and am, used to seeing a price, and paying exactly that price, and not thinking twice about it. Only when it's an 'exceptional situation', like a taxi cab drive, and the driver is fun, we're having a nice conversation, and the driver is clearly driving the optimal route, not trying to rip me off or anything, will I feel like I really -want- to tip.
It's also pretty much the only situation where tipping is 'normal', where it would be abnormal in pretty much every other situation, where I live.
When visiting USA, I didn't understand that it's a choice, because it was treated as 'obligatory', and since I was a visitor (and very young), I just did what others did, and had a heckuva difficult time always trying to calculate what the tip was supposed to be. What an annoyance!
It was only later that I started wondering about it, questioning it, and realizing - hey, what the heck? I am not gonna tip 'automatically', because if that's the way it's supposed to go, why not just add the tip to the price and be done with it?
It's kind of a weird situation, where the employers get away with paying less than they should, because the customer is ripped off by guilt tripping them. If they don't tip, there will be 'consequences' the next time they visit, for sure.
Adam Ruins Everything had a very good point and explanation about the whole corrupt system. Basically the customer is 'expected' to pay PART of the salary of the employers! Which is of course completely insane and crazy. Just raise the prices a bit, and pay your employees properly, and no tipping required. Problem solved.
But this way the employee looks good - it's the customer's 'job' to pay for part of the salary, the waitresses look like poor victims that should be pitied..
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[deleted]
6 years ago
.. and a non-tipping customer looks like an a-hole, although that customer should look 100% neutral at worst.
What a gyp.
It's also very twisted thing, because on ONE hand, you don't really _HAVE_ to tip; it's not the law, you won't be going in front of a judge, you don't OWE anyone a tip.
But on the other hand, you will be GUILTED into it - you will suddenly 'look bad' if you don't tip, and exactly the crap will happen to you that happens in this movie. "You don't know what you're talking about - - these people work hard - - blah blah".
And yet, it _IS_ arbitrary. You don't tip -everyone-, so who gets to decide who is SUPPOSED to be tipped? Anyone that's not paid enough? What if the waitress gets a good salary and has lots and lots of money saved, or is the son/daughter of a millionaire?
Also, no one has any guideline as to what the correct tip amount should be. Is it two per cent? Fifteen percent? More? Less? Something inbetween? NO ONE KNOWS!
What if you leave the wrong amount? You leave too much, and you will be exploited as a fool. You leave too little, and you will be scorned at and guilted and shamed and your food will consist of 28% of spit and other 'questionable' material.
I would never eat out in a country where tipping is 'expected'. It's just guilting you into 'doing the right thing', although you don't have to. Forced goodness is not goodness at all.
It's the same kind of situation that happens with the 'buttons' in "Office Space" (the movie), when the waitress wears exactly the 'required amount', but doesn't WANT to wear more. It's never about wearing more, it's about making her realize she should -WANT- to wear more.
So tipping is optional, but you BETTER tip.. or else. So it's really not optional. That people even argue against 'automatic tipping' just because their employer gets to then rip off the employees, is just sickeningly stupid.
I will only tip if I really feel like it - but I won't be coerced into it.
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snepts (11123)
6 years ago
And yet, it _IS_ arbitrary. You don't tip -everyone-, so who gets to decide who is SUPPOSED to be tipped? Anyone that's not paid enough? What if the waitress gets a good salary and has lots and lots of money saved, or is the son/daughter of a millionaire?
Also, no one has any guideline as to what the correct tip amount should be. Is it two per cent? Fifteen percent? More? Less? Something inbetween? NO ONE KNOWS!
What if you leave the wrong amount? You leave too much, and you will be exploited as a fool. You leave too little, and you will be scorned at and guilted and shamed and your food will consist of 28% of spit and other 'questionable' material.
I would never eat out in a country where tipping is 'expected'. It's just guilting you into 'doing the right thing', although you don't have to. Forced goodness is not goodness at all.
#1) What's the likelihood your wait person is a millionaire? Throw that thought out the window.
#2) Don't stress about amounts and %. Give what feels good or don't give at all.
#3) Only if you are a repeat customer and a lousy tipper. I sure hope people don't spit into the food of customers they never have met before. Besides, anyone who would do such a thing probably gets a thrill out of transgressing rather than trying to punish particular people, and I'd rather not contemplate this as I go about buying prepared food in the world.
#4) Hope you never end up in a country where tipping is expected. Maybe you'll have a portable stove with you, or stay in rooms where they have a kitchen.
And I take issue with Forced goodness is No goodness at all. "Forcing" people to give out some sort of acceptable vibe, and modeling what is good behavior is not a bad thing. A kid doesn't want to say thank you for something that he's just received, and you correct them.
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TaRaNRoD (1579)
5 years ago
"And I take issue with Forced goodness is No goodness at all. "Forcing" people to give out some sort of acceptable vibe, and modeling what is good behavior is not a bad thing. "
Sorry, but no, fuck off. In this case what often happens as a result is that waiter don't even bother to give good service because they assume that their tip is a sure thing.
I once ate at a restaurant in which the waitress was rude and didn't even try to give me a good service. As a result, I decided to not give her Jack shit as tip. Guess what happened? She came out of the restaurant to yell at me, insult me and complain that "this is her salary". Okay, so I'm supposed to automatically pay her salary no matter how shitty her service is? If you do an awful job, your boss can fire you. Because she gain less I, ME, a costumer, has to assure that she gets her salary because her boss pays her less so I can provide for her? Honestly, this is total bullshit.
When I travelled to Europe a few years ago, I really enjoyed how "tipping " actually has the proper definition there. Tipping is supposed to be voluntary, it's supposed to be a gesture which recognizes the good work instead of being an expectation.
So no, sorry, your counter-arguments are flawed and based on the American/canadian perception of tipping, which is stupid.
And what is this stupid comparison you made with the kid? A child must be given those kind of teaching because, well, he learns. An adult shouldn't be teached what is a good way especially when it comes to how he should manage his expenses.
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snepts (11123)
5 years ago
You will get no tip from me with your "fuck off" talk. So you once ate a restaurant - once - and had some bizarre bad experience I have never had? Talk about rude ! Much more rude than your restaurant escapades. I'm thinking you earned this scorn by being a generally rude person.
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TaRaNRoD (1579)
5 years ago
"I'm thinking you earned this scorn by being a generally rude person."
Because you are SO better now with your message.
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