Things I learned by watching Pet Sematary II

1. When working on a movie set, be careful with the power generators. They will fall off whatever they are sitting on for no apparent reason and fry you.
2. Cool kids carry kittens to school and tuck them inside their leather sleeved jackets while in class. Kittens will not make noise. And it will be easy to hide the kittens for an entire class.
3. Bullies wear prissy scarves
4. Sheriff's get off at watching bunnies hump.
5. Someone can blindly shoot a rifle into the woods and hit a sprinting dog with one shot.
6. When you wake up from a terrible nightmare, don't worry about the demon dog on the rocking chair staring and you and growling. Just go back to sleep til morning.
7. A dog can be dead for 3 days and not have a heartbeat, and yet all parts of his body will still be filled with blood.
8. Bully's tell great ghost stories by campfires
9. Biting the top layer of skin off of a man's neck will kill him instantly.
10. A dead man blinks whenever dirt is thrown on his face.
11. A town's sheriff can look and act completely deranged, and no one will say anything.
12. A boy's bike can be found off the side of the road with blood and brains all over its tires, and yet the TV reporter will just say the kid is "missing"
13. You have to bury your own. Apparently the town bully can be resurrected by anyone.
14. A 120V powercord out of the wall in the attic, when exposed, can be shoved into someone's mouth and it will blow up their head.
15. If you ever try and kill a sheriff in your town, don't worry about it. Just shoot him several times. The police will never investigate the murder. And let you leave town with you son, no questions asked.
16. After making a horror movie, be sure to include a meaningless voiceover flashback at the end. One that is pointless. Then show all the people that died in a bubble while the main characters flee the town.




"I like the taste of flavor" Me