I thought the Peppers were wonderful foster parents. They REALLY loved the children. I didn't think they were trying to brainwash the kids into hating their mother. The kids came up with the idea to call them mom and dad, not the Peppers. They just didn't want the children to go back to their abusive mother if they really wanted to stay with them. I didn't think they did anything wrong at all.
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They were good foster parents but some red flags went up quickly for me in terms of how Patty dealt with things. I'm an adoptive parent of a child from foster care. I take my hat off to people like the Peppers but now we know that things can and should be handled differently.
There are a lot of things that can be done better in this movie but to just address the Peppers' issues:
1. Patty had a miscarriage a month before the children came. People who can't have bio children or have a miscarriage need to GRIEVE the loss before moving onto parent other children. Couples/families need time to heal - you don't replace lost children with other kids. Personally I went to therapy for awhile to help me grieve and be ready to move on before we adopted.
2. Patty talked to the SW about adoption that very night. That's moving way too fast. She didn't even know the children or their needs at that point. Being realistic about parenting children with challenges is key - she wasn't. Don't get me wrong, she did a great job parenting the children luckily but to raise those FIVE children over a lifetime, she needed a lot more info. To pretend all you need is love is unrealistic and dangerous to the children.
3. They spoke poorly of the birthmom. No matter what a birthparent does, as a foster (or even adoptive) parent 'poisoning the well' so to speak is wrong. Children will figure out the shortcomings of their birthparents on their own and it will healthier for them to learn that way, than to listen to a litany of crap about their birthparents. When people condemn a birthparent, you condemn their child who shares their genetics. I'm not suggesting lying to children or even covering up the shortcomings of birthparents - but just deal in FACTS, no judgments.
4. They kept the birth uncle and aunt away. A healthy member of the birthfamily who wants to interact with the kids isn't someone you keep away - it is someone you thank goodness for! The kids need to know someone loves them from their birthfamily. They need some ties to their past that are positive. They need some good memories too.
Those things all made me worry. In many states, the education/training process for foster and foster-adoptive families has gotten much better and really stresses dealing with all these things.
Yes things have changed in these respects now. I remember seeing the real "Mrs. Pepper" on a news segment, I think "60 Minutes" after the movie came out. She didn't look anything like Sally Struthers but it was obvious she was still suffering the loss of those cildren. She said the scene where child welfare came and removed the children from her care was exactly like it really happened.
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I agree that Mrs. Pepper, according to the film, had some serious issues relating to having kids.
She was a wonderful foster mom, and Harlan was a great foster dad but they had no business letting the kids call them "Mom and Dad", in my opinion.
Plus, they allowed the kids to think they were staying there 'forever and ever' instead of saying to them gently "I really hope you can. But we'll have to wait and see."
"I'd say this cloud is Cumulo Nimbus."
"Didn't he discover America?"
"Penfold, shush."
i have to agree with alexis922
Phantom Planet Rocks!!! =D