MovieChat Forums > White Palace (1990) Discussion > Not convinced he's truly in love ...

Not convinced he's truly in love ...

posted 17 years ago by Together1618
13 replies | jump to latest

Max looks and feels too much like a son to Nora - another dominant woman like his mother. I feel she is more like a mother substitute for him to ease his grief since he does not feel his own mother is a source of comfort and his friends are too young to relate to his bereavement. As the movie ends I'm not convinced of their mutual romantic love, but more shared affection of two bereaved people seeking comfort from each other. Neither of them are strong. Nora can just leave everything behind - the relationship, home, job - just after ONE meeting with Max's freinds and family. She is too vulnerable. She seduces him, but she does not have the emotional strength and mental conviction to love him. Max's likewise action seems immature to the extent that it shows how clinging he is to this mother substitute. He yields to her seduction and obtains sexual relef but is that true love? He wants her but does he really love her? It's an affair but how long will it last?

[–] the sphynx 16 years ago

I'm not convinced either. And most likely it's because the movie, which otherwise seems to hew pretty closely to the book, pasted on a Hollywood happy ending in place of the ambiguous downbeat reunion that would have felt much more natural. That relationship has an expiration date, for sure, though it serves both parties well in the meantime.

[–] BoudreauxO76 16 years ago

I felt the same way. They're just at such different stages of life. And what bugged me is that although he was wrong for not being honest about his family and friends, she's the one who behaved badly at the Thanksgiving dinner. She was rude and presumptions, and so afraid of being judged that she prejudged everyone there. All in a it was a fun movie, quirky, what have you, but the ending and their "love" just felt more like two deeply wounded people clinging to the other for their own benefit.

[–] 16 years ago

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[–] BoudreauxO76 16 years ago

I'm sorry but if they wanted to portray his family and friends in the way you're describing they did a poor job. It's reasonable that they might be a little confused by his actions but they seemed like okay enough people to get over it and accept her. Perhaps your viewing of this movie was colored by your own experience but the only feeling I ever got from these two is a sort of selfish leaching off the other, not love. Just because she moved to New York and he followed does not mean they have the kind of love that will last.

[–] 16 years ago

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[–] photo-30 16 years ago

So many of the above responses are right on. Good for all of you who support the movie's premise. And yes it might not last forever but so what. Love while you love. Love is all. I have friends with a 20 year age difference, lady older. They are still together after 10 years, totally committed and are friends with the ex-husband and co-parent her chidren together with the ex. Relationships come in all sizes. Yay!

[–] 16 years ago

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[–] willmurphy6663 14 years ago

hi i thought your reply was beautiful and very real. i can see what people are saying about damaged people and that hurt people hurt. but i do see it as absolutely tragic that people who are different ages or different backgrounds are defined by that rather than the humans they are...that is one of the truths of the film that they were together, they were able to listen to each others past and help each other and love them. so yeah your girl was kind, so was max, gentle kind caught in a group of people who had long ceased to understand him.
so just wanted to reply to your poetic and truthful email...

[–] hilljayne 16 years ago

Oh I think he totally loves her. You can be in love with someone but still be 'ashamed' of it or them.

Professional Jayne Mansfield fanatic/lover™ since 1980.

[–] TheGiantPaperPanda 15 years ago

It's possible. I mean a perfect example is Hugh Jackman and his wife. Big age difference.

I agree with the person who said Sarandon had a great spirit. I mean isn't that what you want in a person, man or woman? Someone who can make life exciting, funny, and be understanding of the hardships you both suffer.

It can happen.

[–] 15 years ago

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[–] aksy_heyden 14 years ago

depends on how you defined love then. Max wants to be with Nora - it's like when he's with her he feels comfortable with himself (you can see in the Bachelor's party, he's kind of awkward) They've been through happy time and rough time and in the end, he still chooses to be with her -- that's enough for me

[–] lialearnstorock 10 years ago

I think it's the other way around (but I'd explain this based on the book that I just read).
both Nora and Max felt that he was the one who "mothered" her. first, because Max felt that Nora reminded him of his own mother (Max's mother was never really being his mother, Max took care of her like a father caring a 10-year-old thru out his life), the way they lived, talked, and emotionally expressed (Nora and his mother got along really well in the book).
and second, it was Max who were always being caring, compassionate, quite patient handling Nora's ups and downs. to quote a paragraph from the book:

He pressed against her, bewildered and humiliated by this need to be near her, even when she was being bitchy, or childish, or maddeningly distant, or, as now, all three.

Horowitz (Max's friend, who had the bachelor party) was actually the one who picked up Max's pieces when Janey died and the one who pushed Max to get out of the gloom after two years mourning Janey. but when Max showed up with Nora, Horowitz kinda avoiding him because he was getting smug and being shallow, and wouldn't believe and disapproved Max would end up with someone like Nora.
the thanksgiving's dinner was actually went fine. it was Max who decided to leave early because of his clash with Horowitz.

this is where the movie felt lack of explanation and too compact in adapting the book. Max failed to introduce Nora to his friends and colleagues for numerous of times and it got to Nora's nerves. in the book, Nora left him after they had her birthday dinner and Max didn't introduce her to his boss at the restaurant, Max couldn't explain to her why he did that. I could sympathize with Nora, how hurting that was that your boyfriend's ashamed of you.

I like to think that he loved her since he gave everything up in St. Louis, went to New York to get Nora back, only to find out that Nora's in a better place now, moving on with new life, new job, and new lover. and seeing Nora that happy did hurt Max because he wasn't able to provide that. he ran out of pretty words to convince Nora that now he's not the same Max who would be ashamed of her, so he stayed there for two full months living in a crappy apartment while looking for a job, hoping that he wasn't too late and Nora would still want to take him back.

"I am a Knight, and Cersei is a Queen,"