My relationship with God goes like this
And everyone read very closely and that includes all you bible-thumpers out there.
When I was a baby, my sisters and I were all baptized in a Catholic church, we were brought up as Catholics. My father was an abusive husband to my mother and sometimes to my sisters and myself but I had forgotten that and I never really knew the truth. We left him in the middel of the night and stayed with a woman we call 'Mama Iris' she is our adopted grandmother and my mom's substitute mom. Years went by, my mother and father divorced, I never heard from my dad as often as I would have liked and for good reasons. Then I became a teenager, 15 years old and I asked my mom for the truth about her reasons for divorcing him. I was crushed, devastated because in all of my memories of my father, they were always happy and joyful but I couldn't understand why my father would be so harsh on my mom and so kind to me? So I went to seek counsling and I went every week, crying, screaming, angry. And after my sessions with my counlor, I would go to the chapel and talk to God. Loudly and anger, I ask why is my dad this way, why am I without a father? Why did give me him for a father? I was so out of it that I couldn't stand going out, I would go to the mall and I hate seeing little girls bonding with their fathers, I hated them so much that I wanted them dead. Then my counlor decided the time has come for me to confront my dad and get my *beep* off of my chest. Then after that, my mom insisted that we and my sisters go take a road trip to Washington DC. To visit my aunt on my dad's side, I didn't want to go, even though a road trip is exciting to do but I was not interested. So I went and for those of you who have been in Washington, you will get this picture I am about to paint. My mom, my sisters, my aunt and myself went strolling around the place in DC and then we headed to the Lincoln Memorial. But we rested at a water fountain and there I made a wish in the fountain, I wanted a father that I could love without shame then we pressed on to the memorial. Oh Boy! was it was hot as Hell there? I was exhausted from all the walking but in truth I was walking for my own reasons and I didn't want to stop walking, I was looking for a father. Then when we reached the memorial I sat on the ground and broke down into tears, I was sobbing and no one noticed, not even my family, they just thought that I was tired and pissed from the long and hot walk. All of a sudden this roll of black and gray clouds with flashes of lighting and thunder came rolling from the east and covered the sky. I was scared, everyone took shelter in the memorial, the storm was blazing and crazy, it looked like a hurricane. Then I walked to the statue of Lincoln and looking at the his left hand, I saw a white dove perched on the hand. It stayed there through out the storm, not moving away or even moving to the shoulders. Then 30 minutes later, the storm died down and the sky was still gray and black but then (If you have been to the Lincoln memorial, you can see the Washington Monument straight ahead) Out in front of me and everybody else, there this HUGH, enormous and beatiful rainbow that was right over the Washington Monument. I felt a sense of inner peace and I could a voice or a thought that was telling me 'Everything was going to be okay' then I looked toward the dove that was still on the Lincoln staute hand and then it flew into the sky and disappeared just as it reached the sky. My mom and sisters took pictures of that dove and get this; the pictures turned up without the dove.
All that has happened concluded to me that God was telling me that I was going through some terriable storm but when it is over God will always be there with a smile. I realized that I ran away from God out of anger but I wondered off in search for the truth and then I came back and my relationship with God is like a parent reconciling with it's kid. We are tight without the bible and without church, I speak to God all the time and whenever He isn't listening to other prayers or answering them, he answers mine (Sometimes). I hope you all understand what kind of religion I am in; I am now a born-only-once-free-spirit and I am happy. Let me know if you wanna hear about my sisters life?