What Happened Next: Mature Readers
(this is a creative essay speculating on what happened in the characters forseeable futures once the movie ended, with some level of humor and violence. If such things offend you, pleae read no further).
Paul Blake remained the star quarterback throughout his college days, leading the team to the all-state championship in his last two years, before graduating in agricultural engineering and opening up his own brand of produce. When asked by the Univeristy to make an Alumni donation, he promptly told them to “kiss his ass”.
Coach Ed Gennero coached the team for two more years before retiring, handing the reigns over to Wally. He was found dead in his home three months afterwards, apparently having choked on a meatball.
Coach Wally Rig inherited the coaching reigns upon Gennero’s retirement and was on a 3 game winning streak before scandalous photos of him gratifying himself in the women’s locker room were spread all over campus. He’s currently flipping burgers at Wendy’s.
Dr. Suzanne Carter dated Paul Blake for several months before he dumped her for a younger cheerleader. She was overcome with depression and became an alcoholic, and was eventually fired after streaking on campus, covered in her own faeces. She currently pushes a shopping cart full of tin cans up and down the major streets of Dallas.
Dean Phillip Elias went looking for work everywhere and ended up landing a job in Los Angeles as the principal of a public High School. Two hoods put three caps in his head, 10 minutes before recess.
Andre Krimm played out his last year and became a full lecturer at the University, helping his former teammates as well as he could in passing their exams. He tried his hand at doing stand-up in the college bar on Monday nights and was doing great until some drunk threw a pool ball at him knocked him out, smacking his head off a nearby lighting box. He currently eats from a straw and has his diapers changed three times a day.
Carver Purcell is still the head of the University, but hasn’t seen any “action” since Woodstock.
Chuck Neiderman was found viciously beaten and gang raped after a ‘Dillos victory over the Wildcats. He currently buses table at a local diner and wears an earring.
Jarvis Edison graduated an all-start player but got involved in a date-rape incident with a girl who he swears told him was 21. He’s currently one of the “prags” at the Oswald Correctional Facility. A.k.a OZ.
Wyatt Beaudry graduated in business and went into business with Paul Blake at his farm. He was shot to death last July after being discovered “getting comfortable” with the cattle. There were no witnesses.
Featherstone graduated with honors and as on his way to fat NFL contract, but went hunting the weekend before and mishandled his firearm. His girlfriend did not press charges, despite being left without a nose. He currently coaches high school football in Kansas.
Eric 'Samorai' Hansen graduated in philosophy and opened up his own martial arts academy in Austin. He’s still a vegetarian.
Sargie 'Fumblina' Wilkinson graduated in economics, but joined the army again just for the hell of it. He fumbled a grenade during an exercise and spends his current days still looking for his testicles.
Lucy Draper decided to finally “give Manu some” at the party following the win over the Colts. Her little body was never found.
Charlie Banks got completely drunk at the victory party, but was forgotten by his teammates and left behind. His little body was never found.
McKenzie get butting heads with helmeted players during practice until he damaged his brain and became spastic.
Manumana (as Peter Tuiasosopo) never got over the guilt of what happened with Lucy and tried to drown himself in the massage tub. It took fireman 6 days to pry his corpse loose.
Papke joined a militant group in his third year and dropped out. He ‘s currently serving a nickel at Rykers for indecent exposure.
Olaf Knudson and Ingmar Knudson took acting classes in the hopes of becoming the next Wrigleys twins. They ended up doing scat porn in germany.
The Convict Football Players were all responsible for a series of crime sprees after the ‘Dillo’s – Colts game. All the players were re-captured except the black players who were all shot. The Texas State police claimed it was a coincidence. The Jury’s still out on that one.
Harlan 'Flat-top' Meyers became an all-american football star and currently has a 1-hour segment on ESPN.
Sidney 'Doberman' Harris became a successful author of “Football: A thinking man’s game”, which has sold over 200,000 copies.
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