MovieChat Forums > My Girl (1991) Discussion > That was mean of Vada.

That was mean of Vada.


I think at Thomas J's funeral when she was asking Thomas J, if he wanted to go tree climbing, telling them his face hurts, and telling them to put on his glasses because he can't see without glasses was kind of mean. I mean his parents are sad already that he is dead and she is acting like he is still alive.

Then in the scene where her father asks her to keep an eye on her grandmother, Vada has to go to the washroom. In the mean time her grandmother starts singing at the funeral. The father blames her. She was doing a good job keeping an eye on her she just had to use the washroom.



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I don't think she did anything mean at the funeral. If anything her dad did. "He's gone sweetheart, he's gone." Oh yeah that's real comforting.

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Than man works in the death business, I think that it was hard for him to put a person to a face and now with another death he didn't know what to do because Vada never really "experienced" loosing someone other than her mother.

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Well, she was in denial. He had been her best friend since they were babies, around that. How would you react if you were dealing with someone's sudden death that you were extremely close with?

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Yeah, and Shelly rips into him for that, if I can remember.

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She didn't do it to be mean. She's a very young kid and she is in denial about the death of her best friend. She's talking to him because she can't accept the fact that she's dead.

Also, it's important to note that Thomas's parents loved Vada very much, and in that particular moment, they were probably crying for HER.

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Yes I agree she was going through hell because she just lost her best friend. People say stuff they may not have if they were in their right mind at the moment. A girl I know recently lost her baby and when they were burying him she started telling the people not to bury him because he needed his bottle. And I think TJ's parents were crying as much for her loss as they were theirs.

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I don't know about TJ's parents being all upset for her, I mean that was their son! Maybe eventually they could feel for Vada, but that soon afterwards I bet their minds were sufficiently occupied and she (beyond understandably) was shoved aside. From my experience, grief makes you as selfish and needy as an infant.

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No I agree with others that in that moment they were heartbroken, not only for how much they were grieving, but for her grief as well. Yes grief can make you selfish, but it is not an automatic blocker for everyone else's pain and emotions. Thomas J was something different to everyone, each relationship was unique. So they were no doubt mourning her pain as well.

When I was in the first grade my best friend was hit by a car and killed. My memory is very fuzzy, but I do recall bits of the funeral home. Despite how upset my mom's friend surely was over the loss of her daughter, she got very upset when she saw me and I have no doubt she too was feeling for whatever grief I was experiencing. Losing a child must be one of the most difficult things in the entire world, but for a young child losing their friend is right up there as well on the list of trauma.

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She was in denial. She was sort of crazy, and he was her best friend. it would be mean to like, grab the body and throw it into a tree"My turn Thomas J. Im gonna come up now!HAHAHAH!"

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Did somebody help the OP post this? What an inane post. I'm surprised.

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She was grieving and having a breakdown, she couldn't help what she was saying. I felt that moment was one of the saddest in the movie.

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You're seriously expecting an 11-year old, who's never experienced losing someone in her life, to make those kinds of decisions, or even have that sort of multi-layered mentality?

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Mean?? A traumatized 11-yr-old girl is going to have enough maturity and strength and self-control to subdue her emotions and hysterics because people are upset? And you really consider her actions to be malicious rather than simply innocent feelings coming from a child who is highly distraught?

I swear, I hate to be this way but I've rarely seen so many purely idiotic posts on one board as I have on this one.


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Oh dear Vada wasn't like the other posters have say Vada was in denial and she just lost her best friend Tom and she was acting that way hoping that Tom really didn't die

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I can see your point, but it didn't look like to me that his parents were too offended, or just too sad to notice. And I guess that in some points we are supposed to get that she can be mean, even when he was alive she was mean to Thomas J. And maybe she was asking about the glasses, is that I have to assume that she is used to seeing him wearing glasses, and this was her first time not seeing him wearing glasses. So she got scared, but it wasn't like her father couldn't take care of it. And I think that it might sound rude of me to say, so sorry if I offend you or anybody else, but isn't it Thomas J's fault that he died, after all he did kick the beehave, whether knowing or not knowing that among is among everything that he is allegric to everything, that he is allegric to bees. Now getting to her asking about his glasses, say if you were Vada, and Thomas J was your best friend, and you are used to seeing him with glasses on, he dies and to you see him in the casket without his glasses on, and this is your first time seeing without his glasses on, how would you react. And even with another funereal scene where she is supposed to watching her grandmother, she was doing her job, but I have to guess is she needed lo leave her for any reason, she was supposed to check in with him, even having to use the bathroom. And assuming what I read is correct that her grandmother suffers from Alzheimer's disease, meaning that she could get up going around town, and forgetting who she is and where she lives, and just wondering around town, and how would the police be able to find out where she lives if she can't remember, how could they track down her family otherwise. And it didn't seem like she gets up and moves around much anyways, until she got up and starting singing at the funeral which would be a different funeral, since she couldn't even bring herself at first to even leave her room, and spend a whole day in her room.

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One of the most real and sad and real sad scenes in any movie ever.

I agree with what people said. I felt bad for the mourners at the funeral, particularly Thomas J.'s parents, but I could feel them feeling bad for Vada. I don't think anyone thought she was mean.

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