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There were 20something lost boys?? I think you're imagining things... The oldest lost boy was clearly Rufio... And he was about 15 when this movie was filmed, sooo...

1) They distrusted all adults.
2) You might be overestimating the ages of the boys. Doubtful any would be in their 20's. None the less Hollywood does frequently cast young people to play parts that they are older than. Have you ever seen a high school movie?
As far as Rufio being the leader, maybe his predecessor deemed him the most worthy.
3) That's just how they ate.
4) Hunting was probably seen as more of an adult activity. And maybe they didn't fish for fear of hooking a mermaid.
5) I've known some shockingly agile fat guys. This is a fantasy movie so maybe we can let that slide.
Peter deemed him the worthiest to took over leading the Lost Boys. They did have the nice chat about Michael's marble's, which he had held on too.