win $50,000?

Boy, what a sucker I was. You all know those commercials on late-night tv, you know--the ones where they promise you'll make a real killing? On my way in to watch Marked for Death, they said they'd give me fifty thousand Jamaican dollars if I agreed, in exchange, to pay them a nickel for each illogical thing about this movie. Hey, mon, how could I lose? Oh no, I'm writing this from debtors' prison, as I found I owed them $257,892.15 but couldn't pay up. Tallying the illogicalities caused my calculator to heat up so badly that it melted right into my hand. Wow, I could really relate to the Screwface getting his head chopped off. The good news is that the prison board says I'm eligible for release in 2083. I sure hope Steven Seagull is still making movies then. Though I heard his will says they're to just repackage his old films with new titles. In fact I heard that he only made one movie and already died back in 1989. Is that true? I read it at Wikipedia so it must be so. I also heard that when Segal was making this flick, he got mad when he heard that Jamaica wasn't one of the fifty states yet, as it wasn't fair that they were simply part of Florida, was it?