MovieChat Forums > I Know My First Name Is Steven (1989) Discussion > A tragic story - but please lay off sull...

A tragic story - but please lay off sullying poor Steven

posted 11 years ago by simon-bygrave
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I strongly think the people who say Steven didn't want to leave Parnell or he/his parents were at fault are 100% wrong. It can be said that it was an immensely difficult time for them all. The film over played the coldness between Steven and his parents in the years after his escape. Steven didn't help Timmy White to escape because he was jealous - he did it out of love and great courage. I am just reading more about this in the book Victim to Hero by Jim Laughter, which was co-written by Steven's life long friend Sharon Carr Griffin - who also has sadly passed away at a very young age, dying from a long suffered illness.

The physical abuse that Steven suffered was truly abhorrent and sickening. The way he was duped into going with this man, the way he was manipulated and lied to, the cruel mental torture - to actually be told his parents didn't want him / his brothers and sisters had been sold too / his real dad was dead - was something that really affected me and made me feel so,so,so sad and sorry for Steven and his family.

The whole story is heart wrenching but a few of the scene's from the film that really pull at the heart and make you sob. In particular, when Steven's mum picks up his tiny PJ's and smells them and finds and reads Steven's letter to Santa. Also when Steven's dad cries on his bed and when he can't bring himself to paint over Steven's name on the garage(Steven had draw this on the morning he was taken). There are lots of other really emotional scene's, but the one that really touches me, it makes me happy and then so sad at the same time, is the end scene - when Steven says "I'm sorry" to his mum (as they make their peace)- it is so emotional.

What a brave person Steven was. I have done lots of research into the real life story, looking at newspaper articles, interviews of Steven and his family at he various stages of his life - Kidnapp , Escape , Trial, New Life , Marriage , Children,Death , Legacy and the tribute statue in Merced,CA.

The lasting legacy of the work Steven did for missing children after his escape and now the statue of him(and Timmy White)in Merced, CA are a fitting memorial to him and his parents, wife and children.

I don't believe what his brother did in 1999 (which was truly terrible)should in anyway alter the way people remember Steven.

In a tragic way Steven dying, the way he did and so young only serves to cement his legacy. May God truly Bless Steven's wife, Mother and Children. I will always remember Steven and his story. I pray that lasting good will continue to be done through Steven Stayner's life and story.
[spoiler]

[–] Giwu 11 years ago

I've got a post on another thread about this.

Carr's book is good, but it is fiction. It is based on real events, but much of what she writes is a dramatization of the events. This book is a labor of love for the friend she lost and it is a nice tribute.

But, don't take it all as the absolute, set in stone, gospel truth.

There are three main sources for Steven Stayner. This book, the tv movie and The Echols book. Each of them have a modicum of truth, but are not all 100% accurate.

I don't like to think of Stephen as jealous of Timmy, but I don't rule out the fact that Timmy was probably a bit irritating to him. What teenager wouldn't get irritated by a five year old who whines to go home, who is too little to walk far, who really doesn't understand the gravity of their situation?

Stephen abused drugs and alcohol. Stephen and Jody were separated at the time of his death because of his alcohol abuse.

Stephen's parents made huge mistakes and most of them have to do with them being uneducated. They needed counseling, but didn't do that because they wanted to fix things as a family. Nowadays, if someone in a similar situation DIDN'T accept counseling, we'd know they were messed up.

It's easy to think of Stephen as a little boy or a brave teen, but I think if he were alive today, he would have been in and out of jail for drug and alcohol abuse. He had trouble keeping a job. I don't know how well he would have been able to provide for his children, I'm not sure if he had his GED or not.

Parnell took his life. And his future. The odds are, the would have been no happy ending for him.

All typos are hereby blamed on my iPad.

[–] simon-bygrave 11 years ago

Steven's later years might have beset by drugs, alcohol and relationship problems, but are not all these issues and problems completely understandable considering the terrible trauma he had been through?

He was conditioned to use drink and drugs at an early age, so his subtance abuse would have become habitual and ingrained at a young age.

The psychological, mental and psychical torture he suffered would be like open wounds - never being able to heal. Steven know doubt was battling with many emotions,flashbacks and mood swings - he probably used these subtances to try to numb the pain - a very normal reaction for one who had suffered so much pain at many levels, so young and in his formative years. Deviant behaviour would have become the norm for him. This would have been almost impossible for him to reverse in later years.

He should have had more support and counselling, but he didn't (a sympton of era these things occured in). He would have developed coping strategies of his own - which led to the drink and drugs abuse. Steven's whole personality would have been damaged - which would later lead to his few brushes with the law (mainly for traffic offences) and his relationship problems.

Although he battled and struggled with the demons created by Parnell - Steven didn't completely go off the rails, he did so much good to warn others of Stranger-Danger and work in schools and with the Police. He settled in a semi-normal life. He found work, he enjoyed more normal relationships and sought not self-pity - but instead took on challenges head on.

There are three main sources which cover the life of Steven Stayner - the two books and the TV movie. In addition there is also a wealth of newspaper archive available - covering all aspects of Steven's life including interviews with him and his family. Of course, newspapers are not always reliable but I believe by looking at all the sources available - one gets a better understanding of this tragic story.

Steven went through such appalling things, he was a victim of a wicked and cruel man - but he did become a hero by rescuing Timmy White and letting his story be told - he did try at school(again suffering cruel taunts), he did his best to make sure other children wouldn't suffer like he did. He made his peace with his parents. Steven worked, he learnt to love again. He did marry and he loved his children and cared for them a great deal.

I personally take real inspiration from how Steven battled back and the lasting good he did through his sad and difficult life.

[–] 11 years ago

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