MovieChat Forums > Babycakes (1989) Discussion > Grace deserved better than Rob!

Grace deserved better than Rob!

posted 16 years ago by kimyf65
10 replies | jump to latest

Okay, I first saw this movie back in the late 80's when it first came out, and I thought it was the best movie ever. I thought it was so sweet and romantic. At the time I was in my early 20's and overweight, so it lifted my spirits to see another overweight girl get this handsome guy.

But I see things differently now. Five years ago, I lost the excess weight plus I'm now in my 40s. When I think about the story now in realistic terms, I wonder...what in the world did Rob have to offer Grace beyond the fact that he was handsome? He was cheating on his girlfriend, he was ashamed to be seen with her at first, he stood her up for a date, and he allowed his girlfriend to beat her up, didn't try to defend her, and left her crying on the floor at the club. What a prince!

If Rob was interested in Grace, it would have been better if he had at least broken up with his girlfriend first. The girlfriend was a witch, but apparently Rob had enough feelings for her to ask her to marry him. He wasn't a child. He picked her and chose to stay with her. He could have just as easily said he didn't love her anymore and ended it before moving on to someone else. That's what a real man would have done.

Of course, Grace shared some responsibility in it. She went after Rob knowing that he already had a girlfriend. She and her best friend were spying on him like they were still in high school. She bought Rob all of these presents and slept with him immediately when he hadn't done anything to prove himself worth that. All of her actions screamed "Please love me!" and just showed how low her self esteem was.

If these events had taken place in real life, I don't think Rob would have even stayed faithful to Grace when all was said and done. After all, she was able to "steal" him from another woman so he's already proven himself to be a cheater. Rob seemed to be a weak man, easily influenced by others around him. He let Olivia push him around and wasn't strong enough to even acknowledge he knew Grace when his friend showed his disapproval. And I don't see anything that would hold Grace and Rob together besides sex and her desparate desire to do anything to keep him.

Grace deserved better than that. I think it would have made a better story if Rob actively pursued Grace. Maybe they met on the train and became friends first, and they showed him falling in love with her inner and outer beauty. However, because of Grace's own insecurity about her looks, she didn't accept his advances at first. But then she learned that she deserved the love of a good man on her own terms.

But the Rob in this movie...he wasn't a good man. Back then I was like, "Yay, she got him!"

Now I'm like, "But what did she really get?"

[–] highwindows 16 years ago

I agree. And the ending just felt really rushed and unrealistic. I liked how she quit her job and enrolled in cosmetology school. The movie should have just ended with him passing her while driving the train, looking at her wistfully.

[–] Flashbacks_of_A_Girl 16 years ago

I love this post. You couldn't have said it better actually.

When I was younger, well this movie came out when I was 4, but I saw this movie at about 10 and liked that she got him. I didn't care about anything else. As I watched it growing up (I had the tape, now the DVD- woo who! I'll prolly have to get it on Blu-Ray eventually) and I was always so excited she got him.

I was overweight as a teen so this really touched me.

Now, not that I'm completely fit, but I am secure with myself and have had a strong monogamous relationship for 3 years, I can sometimes resent Grace.

It's like she was teaching me to bend over backwards for the cute guy, be desperate, try anything, change myself, buy him things, spend hours cooking him dinner and reveal embarrassing things to make him want me. I feel sad for Grace. She grows up, eats a tug of ice cream and Cheetos in bed until she passes out from a food coma, then....she meets the "man of her dreams" and isn't herself, devalues herself, tries to be cool to her family...it's just sad.

I wish the ending would have been her being confident and bettering herself and basically telling everyone from her boss to the sales lady in the store to f!&k off.

_________________________
*Human After All*

[–] FireySpectre 16 years ago

I couldn't disagree more.

What you're describing is an attitude that many men are sick of. The whole reason Rob was so attracted to Grace was because she was so unlike his drama queen girlfriend. She didn't demand that he kiss her butt and treat her like a "princess", which is how most women behave these days, regardless of what they look like.

Grace appreciated men in a way that is all-too-uncommon. What I loved most about this movie is the very thing you seem to have a problem with; a woman perusing a man (for once). That's not "low self-esteem", that's seeing something you want and going after it. More women need to be like that, instead of sitting back and waiting for a guy to make the moves because they themselves are too cowardly to risk rejection.

And since when is it a crime to cook for a guy? I consider myself a very unconventional, non-traditional woman... but I still love to cook for men, because I'm actually pretty good at it.

It seems that you are just mad because this movie didn't follow the conventional formula (man chasing after woman). Quite frankly, that's old hat. Also, you seem to be yet another confused woman who believes that female sexuality should be dangled over a man's head like a doggie treat... AS IF women don't enjoy sex... AS IF sex is not MUTUALLY beneficial.

Lastly, let me just remind you that women aren't "special". We are just as good or bad as men. The whole point of gender equality is to be viewed as an equal, not better than or lesser than a man. So, kindly explain why *we* should always be the ones who are adored, worshiped & chased after? Why not a man?

You are clearly sexist.

[–] kimyf65 15 years ago

FierySpectre,

I hold traditional values and I am proud of it. Women ARE special. Men are special too. We are different and have complementary strengths and weaknesses that should be celebrated.

I have no problem with Grace being the initiator in the movie. What I am saying is that the man she chose to go after was not worthy of her attention.

I would love to hear your assessment of Rob's character. Read my original post and tell me what Rob had to offer Grace. She was giving, giving, giving and all he did was take. Grace was using sex to try to gain Rob's love.

Now if she just wanted sex, like you seem to think, then why did they show her doing things to try to bring him emotionally closer to her? If it was only about sex, she could have just made the booty calls, took him, and been done with it. Of course, that would have been a shorter movie.

Instead, everything Grace did screamed, "Please love me". She was looking for love from a man who did nothing in the movie to show that he loved or respected her. In fact, most of the things he did were demeaning - denying that he knew her in front of his friend, sneaking around behind his girlfriend's back, standing her up for a date, and leaving her crying on the floor after his girlfriend beat her up - which was a spineless thing to do.

If disapproving of how Rob treated Grace and thinking that she deserved someone who treated her with love and respect is sexist, then I proudly claim that title.

Seeing what you want and going after it is admirable. But it is foolish to go after something out of desperation instead of stopping to think if what you are going after it is even worth it.

Rob was not worth it.

[–] FireySpectre 15 years ago

"I would love to hear your assessment of Rob's character."

Easy enough. Typical American guy who, like many people, had been brainwashed by mainstream society and the media.

Perhaps you don't understand this, but men are under certain types of social pressure too; It's not just us women. Guys who don't follow "the rules" are criticized by their buddies and pretty much anyone else who drinks the Kool-Aid. Just about any man who hooks up with a chubby girl is automatically dubbed as a "loser", according to our current (and very bizarre) cultural standards. Rob was a product of his environment. That isn't an excuse, it's a fact.

I'm unsure why you think that Rob was "taking and taking and taking"; I'm sure Grace enjoyed the sex as much as he did. As I said before, sex is mutually beneficial; it's not a chore or something that a woman should "give up" begrudgingly, as if a vagina is some precious jewel that is of a higher value than a penis. Any woman who feels that way should probably just come on out of the closet.

You're a traditionalist, huh? May I offer my condolences? :)

[–] kimyf65 15 years ago

FireySpectre,

No condolences needed regarding me being a traditionalist...as I said before, I hold strong values and am proud of it!

So you are saying that it was okay for Rob to treat Grace like dirt because society would not approve of him being with a large woman? Rather like "Society made him do it?"

You keep bringing this back to sex. But the issue is about respect. Rob did not respect Grace as evidenced by the way he treated her. Your point of view seems to defend him standing her up, denying he knew her in front of his friend, allowing his girlfriend to beat her up and leave her on the floor crying.

All of this is okay, you seem to be saying, as long as he was cute and the sex was good.

I stand by my original assertion. Grace was obviously looking for love, not just sex. And she deserved a man of strong character who would be proud to be with her. That is the kind of person you want, no someone that you have to bend over backwards to try to make them love you.

[–] Ada_Inma 15 years ago

Yeah, she was all time after him,and that is sad.It is true Rob was not really a prince, but he was young,inmature, zero personality,and a bit silly.Wonder why he treated Grace as he treated her.Even with Olivia,he was a bad boyfriend,and i don't know why he was with her if they didn't get along,or at least Rob did not feel comfortable in the relationship..Also,see how his girlfriend was, she acted like a man,and Rob seemed a scared and slave girl.Sad.
So,when he found Grace,later he realized that she was the right woman for him.Even tough she was fat or ugly.She was sweet, supportive, loyal,nice...and Rob missed that because his girl was an angry b-itch.That's why he decided to go back with Grace,because he loved her because she was a real lady..And in that moment we see Grace seems happy with her new lifestyle,and without Rob there,which it is great,because she has lost that complex and sadness, now she is happy by herself..And now it is Rob who goes after her :-)

But i agree,Rob was not specially good.After the fight with Olivia in that disco, it seems he did not contact with Grace again,and decided to go back to Olivia.I think that was disgusting and dirty.Grace was crying,on the floor, and he did not help her, or took care of her, he just went away with Olivia and ignored Grace,leaving her with the heart broken.She should not have accepted him again, because he did not care Grace's feelings,after that party, he just went back to his life, and did not do anything to contact Grace, and i think that was very sad,the way he left her,crying, feeling worthless and humillated in front of public.And the worst is,that the next day he was not there either..they way he used to dissappear and ignore everything was very dirty,that is why i think Grace should not have come back with him, because he did not deserve it, after how he ignored her and dumped her.

It did not seem Grace needed him speacilly, as before, where she seemed very fond of him,kind of stalker..After the party,for a time,Grace changes her job, her style,and seems happy by herself,without a man there, so the ending was a bit silly,she should have realized she did not need him,after seeing that,after the party, he did not care about her anymore,went back with his girlfriend,and in the disco,Rob just was staring how Olivia did beat Grace up,without doing anything or deffend her. God knows since how long they had not seen each other until he ran after that in the final scene of the movie.Maybe moths? when you love someone,you do something much before. Really that guy was a loser,and if she had changed into a positive, self-sufficient woman with expectations and hope for the life, i can't get because she accepted that f-ool again.With her new style and trust on herself, she could have got a better man.
In my opinion,the ending was forced just because it had to end happily,but i think an ending with Grace ignoring Rob would have been better, that would show Grace had changed into someone better and she was a happy person,without the need of a hottie.

Also,it is fair to say, Grace was quite pathetic.How she went after Rob, or how she spied him trhough the window...she had no life,and her best friend was really ridicolous.All the whole thing she did to get Rob was childish and silly.In fact, she seemed a stalker or a psycho...And she did not care the fact of a brief affair with Rob,and after,him going back with Olivia.That is just sad.Maybe she deserved something better,but she was who chose to be miserable and date with a guy who would go back to his life after a few days.If Grace did not care that, i don't think she deserved something better, because she was an empty person.

Jimmy Doyle and his orchestra

[–] kimyf65 14 years ago

Excellent analysis, Ada Inma! I completely agree with everything you said. You are right...Grace seemed to really find out who she was by the end of the movie and to have her reunite with the man that allowed her to be beat up and did nothing to help her, plus treated her with disrespect, plus did nothing to even try to contact her and only went after her when he saw her by chance in the train station...wow, it was a step back for the character. As you implied it was a cheap ending; I like your ending much better!

[–] missnat84 (212) 7 years ago

He didn't deserve Grace, would have been better if she rejected him at end.

[–] WandererFromYs (2320) 3 years ago

Grace did not deserve anything better. She knew Rob had a girlfriend, and she went after him anyway. Accepted a role as the side chick, and slept with him. Shes not a good person, and she got exactly what she deserved, when she got her ass beat in the club.