1. Every man wakes up one morning with a wife and kids. Like most things in life, good and bad, it just kind of happen to you.
2. You're ready to graduate if you realise that not a thing any one of those professors says makes a difference on the street.
3. Unlike hard liquor, beer is just for breakfast.
3) To write your own epitaph will make you feel like you can succeed in business.
4) By throwing bottles around you could well one day bed a woman like Elizabeth Shue.
5) Anything else is always something better.
6) Everything ends badly, otherwise it wouldn't end.
7) If you give a waitress crabs, you will really know hatred.
8) The world generally ignores Coughlin's Laws to its detriment.
9) Uncle Pat's philosophy on succeeding in business is the following: You [out-work], [out-think], [out-scheme,] and [out-maneuver]. You make no friends. You trust nobody. And you make damn sure you're the smartest guy in the room whenever the subject of money comes up.
10) Eleanor is a b*tch.
11) It wouldn't be any fun if they fell over with their legs in the air.
12) Brian's hand flopping around on the bar counter means nothing.
13) Falling down the stairs is allowed.
14) If you lay money on the counter, it's a tip. if you want change, you need to hand the bill to the bartender.
15) The more it costs, the better it is. And that's the bottom line.
16) Criticizing a college professor will get you an F.
17. Theres nothing inanimate about Coral.
18. If you plan on finding your wife in a bar, make sure she's drinking beer.
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