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Inappropriate times to quote The Golden Child


Every time the phone rings, you answer with, "What is it, a$$wipe?"

You go up to random people on the street and say, "My dear sweet brother Numpsie!"

On the streets of Baghdad, you go up to a soldier, give him a big hug, and say through tears, "It just does my heart good to see another American citizen!"

Your best friend took your sister out for a date, and she doesn't come home that night. When you see your best friend the next day and ask him about your sister, he says to you, "We sold her. For a case of cigarettes, and a quart of pork-fried rice."

At a cooking class, the instructor asks what your favorite cookbooks are. You raise your hand and say, "Butt Pie, is a sequel to a book written called Butt Cake."

You walk into the headquarters of Pfizer, maker of Viagra, and proclaim, "Nothin' wrong with my yang!"

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awesome!!

"I dont chase anyone who wont chase me back....BB"

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It's your first date. You do the dinner and movie. Basically it's great night all around. She's into you and you're definitley into her. She leans in for a kiss when;

(romantic record "scratches" off)
You: Hey. Hey. Hey. In my right pocket, it's a whole thing of Tic Tacs. Take as many as you like."
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Officer: License and registration please.
You: I think I'll say, from the heart, "Kiss my ass... Kiss my ass! (big sucking kiss)"

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Hysterical woman: But you said you loved me!
You (Calmly): That part was dream.







If it pays right and it's legal, I'll do it.
.......Well......if it pays right, I'll do it.

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You are standing in a clothing store waiting for a changing booth and notice that the lady in the booth is getting ready to leave. You say "What are you doing this weekend becasue your Silhouette is kinikin"

Mom and dad are hosting thanksgiving and you offer to bring either butt cake or butt pie.

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You try out for American Idol. Before you have a chance to finish your song, one of the judges says "next!!!" The cameraman moves the camera away from you.

You say "Hay! If you don't put the camera back on me, I'll bust your ass!"

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Your getting mugged at knifepoint and you say "I-I-ah-ah-uh-uh-I-I Want the knifeeeeee."

"I sell shower curtain rings. Best in the world." - Del Griffith

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Pa Lease.





I apologize for grammatical errors- a side effect of IMDbing on my iPhone.

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"what is it, A$$w1pe?" WOULD be appropriate to say to a telemarketer or collection agency....


"I could destroy you just like that" to a cop.

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If you can't understand what someone is saying "about 4:30, but I don't think I can make the party"

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