MovieChat Forums > The Oprah Winfrey Show (1986) Discussion > Crappy Therapists.

Crappy Therapists.

posted 14 years ago by TheAdlerian
9 replies | jump to latest

I've been a therapist for twenty-two years and I can't wait for Oprah to go off so I won't have to see any more crappy therapy on TV, for awhile.

Dr. Phil is much like myself and seems to like Cognitve therapy, but he never gives credit to the fact that he didn't invent it. Like myself, he learned it and practices it sort of, but did not invent it. However, he is largely crappy because he will break the problem down excellently, but then his solution will be some poetic phrase like "You have to open the door in your mind!" which means nothing. People who are in trouble and have trouble thinking need concrete steps not poetry.

In today's show some jewish guy wearing his "jewish symbol hat" was doing therapy. I called the hat that because it's HIGHLY unethical to show such symbols to patients because it's pushing a cultural agenda, but that's fairly minor. But to explain it's says, "I'm a jew, and you aren't, but I'm the expert and maybe it's why you aren't. And the same goes for jewish patients who don't wear the hat. I'm a serious jew and an expert, and so on."

Anyway, the the bitter and hurt kids at the end he tells them, "This will be a chapter, no a footnote, in your life." That's something a therapist isn't supposed to do and that's command people to feel a certain way. How does he know if it will be a chapter? In addition, it's a Dr. Phil poetic metaphor to a book and the little kid patients probably don't know what a footnote is. So, his comment was meaningless to the kids, but sounded cool to everyone else. The fact is that a trauma may define your life and suck as much at 40 as at 12, but it gives you the opportunity to learn and not repeat what was done to you, and that's as good as it gets.

Oprah's show sucks and has sucked and has taught a lot of nonsense, but made people feel cool while learning BS. That's interesting in and of itself.

[–] Small_World 14 years ago

TheAdlerian...I'm not a qualified therapist, but I've often felt that.

Sometimes Dr Phil or Oprah will say something. And it sounds so simple and it sounds like it makes sense. But when you think about it, you wonder how on earth that 'simple' phrase can erase the trauma and hurt that the 'patient' has felt and experienced.

They often say 'go home and listen to this tape a few times and soon it will make sense' to justify their not making sense at the time.

Having said that, I hope this post makes sense.

[–] TheAdlerian 14 years ago

When you're a therapist you have to be deadly clear and honest. When you're a religious figure you can be more mystical. Both types of people are helpful to others but therapists deal in mostly timely issues of the mind, not cosmic meaning of life stuff. We have our whole lives to worry about that, but psychological issues can be addressed with good success.

The reason Dr Phill, who should know better, does the poetic metaphor advice thing is because real solutions are long and boring. They don't make exciting TV, but would be educational.

Can't have that.

[–] Small_World 14 years ago

One thing I've noticed about Dr Phil's problem guests is just that - the problems.

The whole show is taken up analysing and pulling apart the problem. The following questions are answered during the show: What happened? Who was involved? What conflicts came up? But very, very few shows focus on the solution.

I'm generalising here because I don't watch all his shows - just some. But it seems to me that the show is not about solutions but about problems.

It's similar to reading a novel or watching a movie. First we see the protagonist and then we see the problems they have to overcome and at the end, once they overcome their problem, they 'live happily ever after'.

But in Dr Phil's show his version of 'happily ever after' is promising his instant-15-minutes-of-fame-hungry guests free therapy sessions in their own time.

Sometimes, I think if we listened in on those therapy sessions it might be interesting. Then again, it might not.

I suspect writers all over the world - like me- listen to Dr Phil and Oprah just to get ideas for their own fictional characters and stories. Because - to me - that's all they're good for.

[–] TheAdlerian 14 years ago

If you look up the definition of "porn" it's not just about sex but enjoying something for the nastiness of it. My favorite example of this is The Weather Channel that shows nothing but destructive storm videos, not to teach and learn about whether, but for weirdos who love watching the destruction.

Dr. Phil and Oprah have many shows you can learn something from but most of it is porn. Even shows about charity can be porn. The audience doesn't really want to do anything for charity, they want to watch "feel good" material to get a thrill and think Oprah a goddess. It's like church, people go and then do nothing Jesus said. They just go for whatever reason other than the defined purpose, and the same goes for all the other religions.

Anyway, the good side about Dr. Phil is that if people learn about problems, they can spot them in their own lives or loved ones. Human behavior is weird in that people do the same things over and over and there's few really unique people. So, you can learn a LOT from the problems of others. BUT, the hard part is changing behaviors because again, some people are like robots, and they have huge trouble changing their programs. That's why I said that true change comes from long boring attempts to gain insight and change thoughts and behaviors.

I'd like Dr. Phil a lot more if he'd stop the cryptic "You got to open the door, close the window, and take out the pizza box" type of nonsense and keep it real. In good therapy there's lots of homework to identify your thoughts, see what behaviors they cause, and mental exercises to change thinking. It's boring, as I've said, but that's how you do it. Occasionally, people will have an "ahha!!!" moment where they get exactly what's up and know how to change, but that's extremely rare.

I find all of this to be annoying because when people want therapy they have so much BS about it from TV and movies that they get surptised, and probably disappointed, by the real deal.

[–] Small_World 14 years ago

I'd like Dr. Phil a lot more if he'd stop the cryptic "You got to open the door, close the window, and take out the pizza box" type of nonsense and keep it real.

Ha! Ha! That's funny. Are you quoting him word-for-word? Because that's very, very funny.

On the other hand I have heard him being honest and real. For example, the other day he was talking to the couple. She wanted to have a baby. But her fiance had a vasectomy and he couldn't give her a baby. So he asked her outright:

"Well why are you with him if having a baby is so important to you and he's reluctant to have a baby?"

...or words to that effect. Fair question, I think.

Of course if this woman had left her fiance, there would be no show (with these two people) for Dr Phil. And because people and relationships are so complicated, we watch.

I'm not sure I agree with your definition of pornography of "enjoying something for the nastiness of it." See instead: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pornography

But I do agree it's like some kind of perversion to watch these guests air their dirty linen in public.

Because I enjoy some of Dr Phil's and Oprah's guests, I guess that makes me also a kind of a pervert. But not in a nasty way because these guests chose to be on our TVs.

It's not as if we're stalkers snooping over the fence at someone who's not aware we're checking them out.

[–] TheAdlerian 14 years ago

Since I've spent most of my life doing what Dr. Phil does I don't watch his show, but when I do see him he's doing the poetic thing.

My definition of "porn" is classic and might have come before the sexual part. Anyway, here's Webster:

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pornography

Definition of PORNOGRAPHY
1: the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement
2: material (as books or a photograph) that depicts erotic behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement

3: the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction <the pornography of violence>

So, Oprah is largely a porno show.

Orgasms are seen in the audience frequently.

[–] Pandjy 14 years ago

Don't want to get into the "porn" discussion ... LOL ... however,

I just watched the episode with the children and I think I feel the same way as you - and I am not a professional.

I found the whole segment to be convoluted. First the professional says how you have to really listen, give the kids a voice and let them know they have been heard - then he "pooh poohs" them by saying that their mother leaving is just a footnote.

Did it ever cross his mind that the kids would not understand the metaphore. Even when Oprah said "How do you feel today?" the boy took it literal and answered that he was scared to come on the show. As an adult I know she meant "How do you feel 7 years later."

What I think would happen is that these kids would feel like they weren't good (or nice, behaved, mannered, smart, pretty, kind,loving, loved etc) enough for their mother to stick around. And that will haunt them for the rest of their life. ... It isn't as if their mother died - they have to live with the fact that she has chosen to have nothing to do with them. Truly, I think, they need counseling and someone to explain that their mother's actions have nothing to do with them and in some shape or form she is actually damaged.

On a side note - I have to say that it would appear that the father raised loving children. It was heart warming to see the way the girl comforted her brother.

[–] TheAdlerian 14 years ago

When I used to work in Philly, which is a terrible mess, I had many child clients who had five fathers, via their five brothers and sister, but their real bio one would never show up and they were sad and angry. There were mothers who weren't interested and the kids were always wondering where she was at, and so on. About the best way to explain it is via the facts but with a nice twist like, and they act that because they aren't happy, which is probably true.

Anyway, the "footnote" comment was just for Oprah and the audience. I was laughing about it the other day because I doubt many high school kids know what a footnote is because even in college you don't use them anymore. Dr. Phil should have told the kids, "You need to dial up the secretary of your soul and have her put your mom's name in the Rolodex and network with some new contacts," followed by a big cheer from the audience and the kids looking like they need to poop.

I can't wait to see what this show is replaced by.

Side note: I've watched some of the behind the scenes shows with my wife and I really like them. Oprah reminds me of this great lady I used to work with and seems practical and down to Earth. I do not get her, unless she allowed the Oprah show to be controlled by a bunch of crazy white women (yes) and she just took the lazy route. She does not seem like the same lady.

[–] Pandjy 14 years ago

"You need to dial up the secretary of your soul and have her put your mom's name in the Rolodex and network with some new contacts,"

That is just too funny!

Both the Oprah Show and the Dr. Phil show have taught me some good lessons but I have never thought they were helpful for anything more than superficial day to day issues. I do understand the common sense aspects (If you see one rat, there are 50 more hiding out) and can see how they apply to everyday life. Then again alot of my attitude can be my age (middle).

I DVR Oprah every day but I do not watch every show. Not even the important last ones. I like the heartwarming stories of people who have over come trials in their life, make overs and I am a sucker for the favorite things show. LOL

Seeing a few of the behind the scene shows I understand what you mean but .... what I think happened is that she believes the hype of the show and truly thinks it is more important than it actually is .... when what it really is, is commercial television.

I wish her well though - she is one smart cookie!