Well, AnnCognito, since you asked for my opinion:
I think your attitude towards intimacy and your body is unfortunate, as is your acknowledgement that you are "all for" casual (yet "responsible") sexual encounters.
Let me tell you a story: There was a time, not very long ago, when a man used to get down on his knees and thank his lucky stars when he got access to a vagina -- and even then it was generally only through marriage (because there once was a time when it mattered to a woman that she be respected). Today, however, getting access to a vagina is as easy and cheap as, say, ordering a Fillet O'Fish sandwhich.
Where did the notion of self-respect go? And when did it become no big deal to wind up just another notch on a man's belt (and please don't brag that you have that same mentallity towards men, because that would make TWO callous swine in these scenarios -- and you don't want to brag about being a callous swine, do you?)
Ask yourself this question: Would you teach your daughter to treat sex casually? I don't mean TOLERATE it if she ended up doing it, but I mean literally sit down and TEACH her to do it ("Now, remember what Mommy told you, little Betsy, everytime you get the 'itch', I WANT you to obey your urges and casually pair up with some dude to 'take care of business'!").
Now, if you say "yes" to that, that would make you one HORRENDOUS mother. And if you say "no", then... why are you living your life so hypocritically? Seriously, think about it...
By the way, thank you for your post because YOU HAVE PROVEN MY POINT about the influence of "Sex and the City". You are admittedly a fan -- even to the point of owning it on DVD -- and you admit that you are "all about" engaging in that kind of behavior in your personal life.
There IS a connection...
I respect your opinion. But you seem to be viewing things in quite a black and white way. What I hear from you is that anyone who has sex "casually" (which is a term I truly hate since nothing about sex is ever really casual, nor should it be) isn't respecting herself, and that the only way one can respect herself and her body is to wait until marriage. Or perhaps be in a long-term committed relationship? But that's not reality. If I meet a guy and I like him and I have consentual safe(r) sex with him, how am I disrespecting myself or my body? That's
your definition of self-respect, not mine. I guess what I'm saying is, I don't understand why you can't have your opinion and let me have mine, and admit that there's no "right" or "wrong" answer here. It seems like you have this rigid view of what you consider to be correct, and all opposing views therefore become incorrect.
The answer to your question about what I'd tell my daughter (even though I don't want children) is that I would NOT tell my daughter to go out and find some random dude to screw any time she felt horny. But that's not what "casual" sex is to me. I believe that a woman who is, say, in her 20s, can entertain sex casually while still being responsible. You seem to think that the two are mutually exclusive. I think you're confusing responsible casual sex with rampant promiscuity. Plus, Sex and the City did not have any impact whatsoever on my sex life. I felt this way before that show aired and I feel this way after. In fact, Samantha was my least favorite character. I hated her sexual promiscuity. This one time she tries to be celibate to impress some guy and winds up screwing a stranger she met at the gym. I thought that was disgusting. But that's not casual sex. That's rampant irresponsible promiscuity bordering on possible nymphomania.
Also, I'm sure there are plenty of women who waited until they were married to have sex, or at least waited until they were in a long-term committed relationship, who failed to realize that this person they're married/committed to disrespects them on a daily basis. What's better: a woman who refuses to have sex until she's in a committed marriage but the guy is a total a$$hole to her, or a woman who has "casual" sex with a man she is not married to or committed to but who she's friends with and who respects her implicitly?
Don't get me wrong; I lost my virginity when I was 15, but it was with someone I was in love with. Heck, someone I'm
still in love with, though unfortunately he passed away. It would be romantic if sex only occurred when love was involved, but that's not real life. Sometimes people just want to get their rocks off. And in my opinion, there's nothing wrong with that as long as it's consentual, safe(r), and with someone who respects you as a person.
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These are just my opinions. And opinions are just onions with pi.
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jac91604
14 years ago
Could have done without the comparison of a vagina to a fish filet sandwich.
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