things i learned in death wish 3
1. If your friend Charlie gets killed, he will be back.... Be nice, and take care of his things until then
2. Giggler and Charlie are homeboys
3. The NYPD won't give u a glass of water until u tell them what they wanna know
4. The chief might call u dude, but he don't like creeps either.
5. The chief IS THE LAW, and yes, that means he can violate your constitutional rights.
6. If you ask him does he always violate constitutional rights, your gonna get punched right outta your chair
7. There might be 30 guys in your cellblock, but only one clearly non functioning toilet
8. If u defend yourself in jail, Fraker will make a move on you
9. Fraker always wins
10. If you get one slap or punch in at Fraker, he will kill a little old lady, just for you
11. You can catch it on the 6 o'clock news
12. If u ever wanna discuss this with Mr. Fraker, providing you have some free time on your hands, come on up to Sutter and Belmont, that's his turf
13. Thankfully, he was busy sticking Hector, aka "the sticker" so, no old Lady died
14. Bill S.Preston, Esquire, snorted coke and made a living as a hood ornament before joining Wyld Stallyns with his buddy Ted Theodore Logan
15. Police enforce the parking laws
16. Important scenes in Death Wish 3 have a background score sounding remarkably like a camel burping
17. The giggler can put a knife through a woman's skull
18. It Was him, simply because Bennet said so
19. If u don't loan a skinny black kid 5 dollars, u will get pushed over another dude, at the risk of hearing Spanish expletives
20. If u take a run at Fraker, they'll chop u to pieces before u get within 6 feet
21. If Manny Fraker wants more heat in his area, he just dials 1-800-CREEPS and they'll send you as many as he can spare
22. During a riot, the bad guys are all smiles
23. They got grenades too, and they also have the dropsies too!!!
24. If u run outta bug spray, call the chief, he will squash those roaches, with his hands
25. Firing a LAWS missile launcher, indoors at that, is perfectly safe, even though its an anti tank anti personnel weapon, u can fire it mere inches from your body, towards the bad guy, and it won't harm u or any innocents in the apt, and even the poor schmuck u fire it at will remain completely intact, that's right, it'll destroy a tank, but not a human
26. Rolling a car down the street and it colliding with another car will result in a huge explosion
27. Don't throw one of Frakers boys out of your store, or your wife is dead meat
28. The creeps might've killed Emils wife, but, break one of Bennets windows, well, EFF them
29. Kathyrn Davis hates her sister, and can only make chicken.....
30. If you are arrested for murder while holding a handgun, no worries, the nice *beep*
t that same gun in with your personal property....
31. Hell, the chief will even personally remove that same gun, and personally hand it over, because they're illegal in this city
32. If and when the chief punches you, do not kick him back, or you can forget bail, and you won't be getting comfortable
33. A push broom is just as effective as a double barrel shotgun
34. Fraker has a bulletproof vest A$$hole, just like yours
35. And u can't have both of us....
36 Fraker just might wager some money on that
37. When it's time to riot, send in the blonde, to bang a stick on the ground and snatch the old mans fedora, that will intimidate anyone
38. And when Fraker says hurt him, chopping your rivals chest with an axe will suffice.
39. Whatever you do, beware of the Creep holding a plunger
40. I think I'll go down then street and buy myself some ice cream is just a metaphor for, I wanna test my new gun
41. When u shoot the Giggler, make sure it IS YOUR BUSINESS
42. NAH,u had no business shooting the giggler, that wasn't to smart....nooooo,not to smart
43. Lend him 5 dollars sucker
44. Bad guys never seem to look down when illegally entering an apartment
45. You need to turn the screws on those mother *beep*
46. When the chief flashes his lights at you, it makes a distinct dink dink noise
47. Don't eat ice cream when u shoot the punk, or they'll know it was you
48. You can order a .475 Wilde Magnum through the mail
49. If your gun jams, the creeps will run up 6 flights of stairs to get you
And finally, I'll give you something to screech about ya sonsofbit$$$$