Things that do not make sense
I wish the "Things I Learned"-threads were faithful to the original idea that the nonsensical events are described, and thus shown what would never work in the real world.
But they usually nowadays consist of quotes from the movie, one-liners, jokes or descriptions of neutral things, like "John is hungry", or whatnot.
In my opinion, they should be like this:
- Rocket launchers come with instructions, although they are not consumer products (probably even with "Thank you for buying the Ultimate Rocketer-7B! We are sure it will meet all of your exploding needs.")
So, let that be the first nonsensical thing I mention. Here are some others.
- If the WHOLE POINT of having the time limit is based on the 'villain boss' not knowing that 'Matrix' (somewhat odd and ironic name for a Commando, when it'd be better suited for a computer programmer, or a movie about hackers, or.. yeah. I know.) isn't in the plane, then how come the black green beret (there's an assortment of nonsensical colors, because he is of course technically not really BLACK or GREEN, visually speaking, just like so-called WHITE people are more like PINK than WHITE) guy knows he's there, and why doesn't he inform the boss? I mean, obviously A LOT OF PEOPLE CAN KNOW exactly where he is, so why can't the boss?
- Matrix can turn invisible, but this is not mentioned in the movie (just watch the 'let's jump from the airplane' scene, which is inconsistent as to how far the airplane actually is in the takeoff procedure - it's almost taking off at one point, but then we are suddenly shown it slowly rolling on the tarmac)
- Even with instructions, an inexperienced, non-trained, typically sheltered-life hag with no muscle tone can just carry and use rocket launchers without problems. Even if we just talk about basic psychology, this would be impossible. Would a regular civilian, even a man, really just be able to shoot a friggin' POLICE VAN with a rocket launcher in the middle of a city, all of the sudden?
- Every man that has lines in the movie, that is exposed to this hag (except Matrix) and her questionable 'charm', becomes some kind of odd, creepy sleazeball with overt expressions of his lust for the ugly hag in question. Ridiculous to the max. Men are not like that (generally speaking). But women like to believe they are.
- The girl isn't punished for insulting the boss, although he's super-evil and all. Yawn. Not even a slap in the face, nothing.
- The kidnapped girl is not under observation all the time (or indeed almost any time).
- The kidnapped girl is not handcuffed, tied, sedated, tranquilized, drugged, or anything. Because we all know kids are good at behaving, and they wouldn't cause any trouble if just let run loose.
- The movie expects the audience to be scared of eddie mercury-lookalike, who screams like a girl
- The movie expects the audiences to root for a man that lies and then brutally murders people (weaker than him) that he absolutely doesn't need to (dropping the guy off the cliff, for example)
- A hag that has never flown anything but a Cessna, can operate an amphibious aircraft within seconds of sitting in one for the first time
- Said aircraft can ignite its engines and run through the checklist (what checklist?), plus take off in a minute or so
- More power can be pumped to the aforementioned aircraft by simply pushing a lever on the ceiling (a turbo boost mode?) - why don't all airplanes have this handy feature?
- Mall guards have the authority to harass and arrest people, who have done nothing wrong or broken any law (as far as they know)
- When a hollow pipe is thrown through a man's body, it somehow magically erases the body parts that would normally block the passage of steam through it (if we would at least see those body parts flying off because of the steam pressure..)
- The movie expects the viewer to not realize that the whole 'daughter bit' is there only so that there is a reason for the ridiculous non-story action, and she serves no other purpose whatsoever
- When a man lives together with his preteen daughter, it's completely fine and correct for him to kiss her on the lips after confessing his love for her (how creepy was THAT scene, especially knowing of Arnold's hormone-induced past? Well, maybe this is an 'american culture' thing that I can't understand. Do parents really kiss their kids ON THE LIPS)?
- A 'cute' crap-car of an air hostess (or whatever she was, I didn't really care) can easily keep up with an eighties luxury Porsche. No problems whatsoever. A sleazy criminal-Porsche-owner will never want to drive very fast.
- It's mandatory to RIP OFF THE SEAT of said crap car, although this is never explained. I guess.. for .. comfort? I thought this was so that Arnold could hide from spying eyes, but he just sits there, like one would normally expect him to sit in a car like that, and still towers over the hag-driver, so what was the point of ripping off the seat?
- It's not an insult if your student doubts your friendship, loyalty or ability by questioning your choice of bodyguards you leave to protect him and his family. "Are they any good?".. I would have been insulted, after carefully selecting the best possible protectors, and this was asked. "No, I deliberately of course chose the worst possible drop-outs to protect you!" What a bástard.
Well, that's it for now, but man.. these movies are so STUPID.
Did they really have to have these one-liners?