101. The cars placed on display in new car showrooms are filled with gas, just in case someone wants to start it.
102. When a large man who just dropped from the landing gear of a DC-10 into a nearby swamp is seen running on the active runways and taxiways at LAX, no one will notice and cease operations until authorities can catch him.
103. When a fight to the death is going on in the next room at a cheap hotel, a couple having sex will keep right on going. At least until the combatants crash through the wall.
104. The laws of inertia no longer apply, therefore when traveling at high speed in a small convertible, after hitting a telephone pole you will remain exactly where you are within the confines of the car. Just to be safe, however, you should turn to your fellow occupant (if applicable) and ask if she is OK.
105. When the need arises to exit an airliner that is taxiing for departure, simply stand up and destroy whatever part of the aircraft you need to in order to reach a good jumping off point. Should a flight attendant question you, just make a quick claim of illness and keep right on walking. That's all she needs to know.
106. Former special forces soldiers who have become flabby after leaving the force are nevertheless the equal of fellow former soldiers who have stayed in excellent shape.
107. Villains driving down a winding road and trying to escape angry fathers of kidnapped girls should keep right on going when the angry father is careening down a hill to hit them. They should never simply stop and wait for the careening, angry dad to simply careen on by without hitting them.
108. Former special forces soldiers who master the art of delivering smart aleck one liners teach their daughters to do the same at a young age. This talent might come in handy should the daughter be kidnapped and need to get inside the heads of her captors.
109. Former Green Berets and other special forces members who fight to the death can't just fight to the death, they must try to bust each other's balls the whole time as well.
110. The uniforms of flight attendants remain remarkably clean, neat and wrinkle-free as they help former special forces soldiers rescue their kidnapped daughters.
111. If a flight attendant is ever kidnapped by a former special forces soldier trying to rescue his kidnapped daughter, simple logic says she will fall in love with him.
112. The pilot of a seaplane will never think to push the throttles to the full power position in an attempt to gain altitude. So it might be handy to have an ex special forces guy riding shotgun, he'll figure it out.
113. Airlines don't keep manifests or other records of the number of passengers on board, therefore if a passenger claiming to be airsick gets up prior to takeoff and never returns to his seat, the flight crew won't say a word and the 11 hour flight will continue without delay.
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