Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says,"This post has been DELETED!"
And the bizarre thing is that I did it for my old man. I deleted this poor kid's post because I wanted him to think that I was cool. He's always going off about how when he was in school and all the wild things he used to delete. And I got the feeling that he was disappointed that I never cut loose on anyone, right? So I'm sitting in the recreation room and I'm typing up my notes, and Larry's on an internet forum a couple desks down from me. And he's kinda... he's kinda skinny. Weak. And I started thinkin' about my father, and his attitude about, about weakness. And the next thing I knew, I jumped on top of him and started whaling on him, wrestling his laptop away. And my friends, they just laughed and cheered me on. And afterwards, when I'm sitting in Vernon's office, all I could think about was Larry's father and Larry having to go home and explain what happened to his post. And the humiliation - the *beep* humiliation he must have felt. It must have been unreal. I mean, how... how do you apologize for something like that? There's no way. It's all because of me and my old man. God, I *beep* hate him. He's like this mindless machine that I can't even relate to anymore.
"Andrew! You've got to be number one! I won't tolerate any low post counts in this family! Your forum avatar is for *beep* Delete! Delete! Delete!" You son of a bitch... You know, sometimes I wish my finger would give. And I wouldn't be able to delete anymore. And he could forget all about me.
Saturday, March 24, 1984. Shermer High School, Shermer, Illinois, 60062.
Dear Mr. Vernon,
We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in deletion for whatever it was we posted wrong. What we posted *was* wrong.
But we think you're crazy to make us delete a post telling you who we think we are. What do you care? You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient deletions. You see us as a Geek, a Fan-Boy, a Post-Whore, a Troll and an Illegal-Downloader. Correct?
That's the way we saw each other at 7:00 this morning. We were deleted.
But what we found out is that each one of us is a Geek... a Fan-Boy... a Post-Whore... a Troll... and an Illegal-Downloader. Does that delete your question?
This post has been deleted because it's his business. It's his own personal, private business! Well post, it doesn't sound like you're doing any business.