MovieChat Forums > Tales from the Darkside (1983) Discussion > Top-50 Darkside Darlings

Top-50 Darkside Darlings

posted 8 years ago by soggybottom (127)
2 replies | jump to latest

So we all know that this series contains its share of lovely ladies.

Well, I've decided to come up with a list of my top-50, which I'd like to share with you at this time (in reverse order to build up the suspense of course)...

50) Dorothy Lyman: Catherine (In the Cards)
49) Ellen Winthrop: Ginger (It All Comes Out in the Wash)
48) Debbie Harry: Sybil (The Moth)
47) Carol Kane: Ann MacColl (Snip Snip)
46) Fredrica Duke: Sybil (Anniversary Dinner)
45) Margaret Klenck: Mom (Seasons of Belief)
44) Polly Draper: Aileen (The Grave Robber)
43) Margaret Whitton: Mary Jones (Mary Mary)
42) Maura Swanson: Jeanette Simpson (Payment Overdue)
41) Cameron Milzer: Tiffany (No Strings)
40) Sarah Rush: Lara Burns (Comet Watch)
39) Catherine Battistone: Margery Bender (The Bitterest Pill)
38) Marcie Barkin: Dolores (All a Clone by the Telephone)
37) Pamela Kenny: Other-Woman Janine (Going Native)
36) Deborah Harmon: Katie Weiderman (Sorry Right Number)
35) Therese Pare: Cathy Osborne (The Madness Room) & Helen Hogan (Baker's Dozen)
34) Maria Manuche: Anna Belle (The Swap)
33) Carol Levy: Realtor Juliann Hanratty (Florence Bravo)
32) Kathy McLain: Girl-Next-Door Carol (The Old Soft Shoe)
31) Ronee Blakley: Cassie Pines (The False Prophet)
30) Colleen Camp: Connie Squires (Djinn No Chaser)
29) Jane Summerhays: The Devil as Doris Kramer (Let the Games Begin)
28) Shannon Kriska: Didi (Dream Girl)
27) Patricia Tallman: Janice Perry (Family Reunion)
26) Jillie Mack: Jayne (My Ghostwriter--The Vampire)

Okay, so we're halfway. We've seen some MILFies and some semi-hotties so far, but it's about to get down to the nitty-gritty. So how about we throw in some pictures (and a little commentary) for the rest of the countdown?

Are you ready? Away we go...

25) Carolyn Ann Clark[/b]: Jenny (The Unhappy Medium) http://i.imgur.com/jjpn1tc.jpg
Ain't she wondrous? If I was that preacher, I would've picked that hot body to jump into as well (and I might even fondle myself occasionally while I'm in there!)

24) [b]Jessica Harper[/b]: Prudence (The Tear Collector) http://i.imgur.com/0lXLP4t.jpg
A little more smiles and a little less tears would've gotten her higher on the list. Still, the weird tear-collector dude must not be human if he didn't want to take advantage of that situation (When a hot chick is practically throwing herself at you, start working on other liquids!)

23) [b]Susan Strasberg[/b]: Kate Collins (Effect & Cause) http://i.imgur.com/gpP1E2z.jpg
I'm not sure what was going on in Kate's mind during this episode (My bet is that she just needs a little TLC from The Sogger to get her all straightened out!)

22) [b]Kerry Armstrong[/b]: Elaine Anderson Hall (Slippage) http://i.imgur.com/m6xybog.jpg
So her hubby is slipping away, and his best friend wastes no time in taking his spot. I can't say that I blame him (He was probably the one masterminding the whole thing!)

21) [b]Nancy Travis[/b]: Laura (My Own Place) http://i.imgur.com/3qw6BLi.jpg
The question is: Would you boink a hot Nancy Travis while some weird Indian dude is in the room watching and getting his jollies? The answer: Hell yeah! You take that prime grade-A tenderoni any way that you can get it!

20) [b]Justine Bateman[/b]: Susan "Pookie" Anderson (Mookie & Pookie) http://i.imgur.com/eozk2bK.jpg
Watching this episode makes me wonder: Have twins ever gotten all freaky-deaky on one another? (If I was Mookie, I certainly would've given it one helluva shot!)

19) [b]Kate Charleson[/b]: Brenda Hardcastle (Printer's Devil) http://i.imgur.com/MmeMNvl.jpg
Flat as a pancake, but when she comes out wearing nothing but his shirt all good to go, she'd make any guy's "castle" hard! (I'll just bet he was "long in the saddle" riding off into the sunset on that!)

18) [b]Lori Cardille[/b]: Emily McCall (Florence Bravo) http://i.imgur.com/s8fC7Wz.jpg
There's something about a hot chick who stays inside all of the time getting crazier and crazier by the minute that really turns me on! Crazy chicks bring that added kink-factor into the mix that I can really get in to. Look honey--Save all this crazy talk about me having an affair and the ghost that lives here for later. You...me...bedroom...now! Let's hump this out like rational adults!

17) [b]Linda Thorson: Elizabeth Eaton (Auld Acquaintances) http://i.imgur.com/CqgsdW8.jpg
Would I do it with this hot witch in a barn, risking the chance that she might put some nasty spell on me if I didn't perform up to expectations? Just give me that chance, woman! Give me that chance!!!

Note: I made an edit to this post and then later found out that they changed the way they do URL-links, so that's why this one looks different than the post below.

[–] soggybottom (127) 8 years ago

16) Nile Lanning: Jennifer (Hush)
Where were the hot babysitters like this when I was a kid? It's no wonder that he couldn't wait to hug her (I bet that he copped a feel a time or too as well!)

15) Patricia Pelham: Helen Tanner (A New Lease on Life)
Okay, so you've got a lonely hot chick next door who can't even get water out of her own tap, and you haven't invited her to move in yet? Are you nuts? (The real question is: Are tenants allowed to boink in The St. George?)

14) Sofia Landon Geier: May Dusa (Miss May Dusa)
She doesn't have beauty-queen looks, but the way she kisses and acts in this episode really gets me goin'! (In other words, I'd gladly go blind to be with her!)

13) Loren Cedar: Libby (I Can't Help Saying Goodbye)
With her entire family out of the picture, I'm thinkin' that she could use some compassion and understanding from a Sogg (and whatever good fortune that might come along with it!)

12) Catherine Parks: Gina Casavin (The Casavin Curse)
She can't act to save her life, but her rockin' bod makes up for it (and then some!)

11) Marcia Cross: Marie Alcott (Strange Love)
Apparently, doctors know how to turn hot vampire chicks on (Damn, I knew I should've been a doctor!)

10) Haviland Morris: Sarah McBride (The Apprentice)
So she goes back to the past and meets a plain-looking chick who is supposed to marry the hunky-guy, and the hunk can't wait to burn her at the stake for being a witch? At least keep her around as your sex-slave! (I swear--What are these numb-skulls thinking?)

09) Kim Greist: Claire (Going Native)
When a hot alien chick decides to experiment sexually, she really oughtta come to me--I would never two-time Claire! I have an expression...Losing...your...mind (whilst in the heat of passion with Sir Soggermeister of course!)

08) Begonya Plaza: Stacey (The Last Car)
Why couldn't I have been on The Last Car to comfort Stacey during those awful tunnels? (I could've rocked her brains out like a cradle!)

07) Lisa Bonet: Justine Bancroft (The Satanic Piano)
She would've been higher on the list without the boyish hair-do, but she's still such a little cutie anyway. Of course she's going to be the music now (I'd buy her album just to stare at her picture on the cover!)

06) Danielle Brisebois: Amanda Polo (The Yattering & Jack)
The kid from All in the Family is all grown up, and what a beauty! All I can say is that if I were The Yattering, it wouldn't be Jack that I'd be after!

05) Marilyn Jones: Joan (Ursa Minor)
Does anybody wonder why Ursa Minor came to this particular house? To visit the hot-MILF Joan of course!
Joan: I just found out that I'm pregnant. How is that possible since we haven't even done it lately?
Susie: Teddy did it!

04) Penelope Ann Miller: Keena (Ring Around the Redhead)
So he's got this little honey-of-a-redhead alien all to himself, and he hasn't even boinked her yet? She even flashed ya, dude--What more of an invitation do ya need?

03) Dorothy Parke: Glenda (The Old Soft Shoe)
If I ever encounter a super-hot ghostly chick like this one in a motel, she can shoot me, drown me, and do anything else she wants (as long as she takes me to heaven one time first!)

02) Donna Bullock: Linda (Parlour Floor Front)
I'm all for coming after what is yours (even after you're dead), but when you come across this scrumptious babe lying alone on the bed, you gotta hit that (I don't care how dead you are!)

01) Roberta Weiss: Gail Aynsley (Inside the Closet)
When I watch this episode, I try to put myself in the mind of the creature. Now I'm assuming it's a girl (since her name is Lizzie), so the first thing I would do is proclaim myself as officially a lezbo and then use this hotter-than-hot goddess as my play-toy. Sure, I may starve to death in the process (refusing to eat my food), but what a way to go! This chick is absolutely stunning! She is (without a doubt) my #1 Darkside-darling.

[–] soggybottom (127) 8 years ago

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