1) Smoke will attract the good guys from miles around, but the bad guys don't realize that smoke means fire.
2) You can appease an angry Mastodon by offering him a fist full of the grass he's standing on.
3) Fat cave chicks stay at camp while the thin one spends all her time at large.
4) You're safe if you can run out of an attacking bear's cave, they're agoraphobic.
That's only 4 things.
shareWe're supposed to add new ones of our own.
5) Don't give the fire to the bald-headed cave man.
6) Rae Dawn Chong as Ika can smear paint on me any day.
7) It's not what you say (or even if you can understand it), it's how you say it.
8) Don't bring a rock to an atlatl fight.
I disagree with you, but I'm pretty sure you're not Hitler.
- Jon Stewart
9) The less hairy you are, the more likely you are to have a sense of humor.
10) Women washing up in the river are fair game.
11) You can sleep in a tree for as long as you like if you do not devour the leaves.
Never trust a woman or a government - Captain Yellowbeard
8) Don't bring a rock to an atlatl fight.
Thanks man. Glad you liked it. Seems a few people did and I didn't notice because I had some heavy stuff going on around that time. So five years too late turns out to be the perfect time for me.
I disagree with you, but I'm pretty sure you're not Hitler.
- Jon Stewart
13) Anal sex was very popular 80,000 years ago
14) Never give fire to the idiots in your tribe
Martin Scorsese IS the best
15. Human flesh doesn't taste too bad until you see the owner's skull
16. Bring your own woman on a journey
17. Prehistoric hands were too rough for masturbating
18. Practice your big fire presentation first before showing your skills to the entire tribe
19. Never ask a cannibalistic tribe member "Can I give you a hand"?
share20. Never refuse first aid from a stranger.
21. Even cavemen had ADHD.
22. Only the French can make a porno that becomes an instant classic of anthropological history.
23. If you're going to bite a guy's nuts, make sure he does not have a 30 pound rock within arms reach.
share24. You never know when the only tree for miles around on the Serengeti will come in handy.
25. On such an important mission, send only 3. The rest of us will wait right here and freeze our collective asses off waiting for you to get back. "Hurry back".
26. Just because you can lay out the biggest cannibal, doesn't mean you've automatically earned the respect of the others.
27. It's not enough to steal fire from your neighbors. Make sure you douse their fire too.
28. Watch where you step. If you're not careful you could end up with a spear in the mouth.
29. Eating human flesh builds bigger bodies.
30. Even after you've been "cannibalized 'down there'", it's nice to know one can still enjoy a nice bj from a friend.
20.) Concussions are always hilarious.
share31) Raping a girl is a sure fire way to win her heart.
32) Screwing 5 fat girls in a row will turn a skinny girl traitor with jealousy.
33) 3 Stooges humor was always in style.
34) The French even put mimes into historical caveman movies.
"I said no camels, that's five camels, can't you count?"
I have no more to add but to a big LOL to this!:
8) Don't bring a rock to an atlatl fight.
37) Green bodypaint was a helluva lot more durable in pre-historic times than anything that's made now-a-days.
You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake.
38) It's not safe to do laundry standing and bent at the hips.
39) Wagabu keep climbing, smashed and amputated fingers regardless.
40) When you are cold and miserable, spend weeks hanging around in a swamp with water up to your hips.
41) In a tribe of black people (although painted gray from mud), the leader is an old caucasian guy with a white beard.
42) In the span of a few days, you can walk from a European tundra to an African savannah.
43) Ethnic diversity was VERY diverse... every few miles people would look and act completely different.
44) You can make fire with random sticks from any tree around. It's not like that's incredibly hard and only a few species would work...
The olfactory sensitivities have greatly diminished in the last 10,000 years.
share