...says the user review on the main page. Wow.
I have an 11-year-old daughter right now. I think I'll pass on letting her watch it, if you don't mind. I think I'll let my 13-year-old miss it too.
This film, imo, is not appropriate for 11-13 year olds. Did they even have the sex talk yet? Christ what bad parent would let any kid watch a film that deals with such heavy topics?
Sure, it's admittedly rare to see anybody waiting for marriage or other lifetime commitment these days. And aren't things working out just perfectly now that this is the prevailing ethic?
Teen sex and pregnancy rates have actually gone down in the past 15 years....so I'd say this is working out quite well.The thing I've noticed with girls who lose their virginity ealier is that they wait to have sex until their older because often their first experiences are horrible and teen boys are so fickle that they break up with each other in months. Sadly it usually happens after deflowering a girl because then a boy thinks, Oh now she's going to be clingy.
Isn't it great that a strong majority of kids now think of sex not as something completely connected to their exclusive mate for life, but rather as something they "need to do" by a certain age, like a "sexual initiation" (as Ebert puts it)?
I think it suggests a great boredom with society that we mark our milestones by arbitrary things, but I'd say this really started with your generation or rather the one right before you. Think of it....kids during WW2 marked their coming of age by going off to war. Before then, the concept of a teenager did not exist. You were an adult when you reached ages 15-17, the term teenager was coined in the mid 20s. It was really the Baby Boom generation that marked their coming of age by getting their license and this so called mythical "freedom" they obtained because of it. That of course led to the concept that actually losing your virginity was a coming of age marker and thanks to condoms and birth control it's much easier these days.
Isn't the world a better place when the typical young person's life involves sleeping first with this one, then that one, then at least a couple more--what's the average these days, anyway?--and then eventually settling down with somebody who's probably done about the same, and mostly trying to forget all these people in each other's pasts, or at least not bring them up too much, after having done the most intimate and meaningful physical thing that two people can do with each other--only with a bunch of other people as well?
How is sex the MOST intimate and meaningful physical thing? I absolutely beg to disagree with this. I've had more intimate naps and hugs with partners than sex. (not all sexual experiences for women end in orgasmic pleasure, sometimes we don't feel anything at all or it's awkward, or boring). Sex is a very basic, primal action. A hug actually requires feelings and emotions, sex does not. And it's not because society changed it's attitude toward sex, it's because it's true.
Every living creature will do this because it's a basic, primal need to reproduce. However you will never see two insects hugging or kissing, or asking how their day was, or falling asleep snuggled up beside each other while the tv plays your favorite movie. So you may argue that sex without emotion behind it is a meaningless act, but I beg to disagree. It's just instinct.
I know this film got some credit for being more serious about the subject of "deflowering" than you would have thought from the trailer at the time. Big deal. The film wants to have it both ways, as meaningless slapstick and as heavy "we really mean this part" commentary on what now is considered a rite of passage related to the self rather than something to be reserved for only one person.
So what you really have a problem with is not the ideology the film expresses but how the production elements handle this message. That's a completely different thing. I do agree that some things could have been better such as the editing and pacing of the film, but come on this isn't Oscar bait. It's a cute small production, maybe it's not for 10 year olds, but it's certainly great for actual 15 year olds. It's much better than rubbish where teens are portrayed as overly adult.
Yeah, that's OK, Syllavus. I can't guarantee anything my kids will or won't do, of course, especially when they're bombarded nearly every waking moment with the prevailing ethic on this point in various forms from advertising to music to film to TV. But I think I can avoid at least one specific source by not using this film as some kind of instructional for "preteens." Jesus.
...Why don't you just let them think for themselves?? I mean they are human beings...I was raised with the same advertising and television they were all of which I ignored because I was allowed to develop my own ideology and view points.
Speaking as someone who was once a teen girl, I can honestly say that teen girls don't want to have sex. They really don't...it's usually the boyfriend who pressures the girl into giving it up. I mean most feel curious about sex especially the pleasure part but that can be easily fixed by telling them the reality of sex. That it hurts really bad (not just the first time but for many times afterward) and you bleed...
Wow it sounds to me like you have some deep issues you need to work through....
Losing your virginity for women is something that is rarely explored in cinema mainly because of people like you (who just can't bear to imagine it!), but it's such an important thing women go through. So why do we have 1 million films about guys losing their virginity and 0 films about the profound experience women go through when they lose theirs. How can there be SUCH a double standard regarding this? Are women supposed to save it for that one lucky man who has screwed 900 other women before her? Because men never have and never will wait to lose their virginity, history can prove this.
I personally chose not to have sex in high school because I simply wasn't interested in dating. I can say that the majority of my female classmates were not having sex. The ones that did tended to have longterm boyfriends (that they loved, isn't that worth it for them?) or "issues" (usually a broken home tends to breed this type of girl). Usually women start to feel ready around their late teens, early 20s. I don't know why...maybe their hormones aren't as raging as teen boys.
For men it's just as you said, it's a milestone they just want to get out of the way. Like getting your license. There's a lot of pressure from male friends to lose your virginity. However for women it's a conflicting message, either you're a prude if you save it, or a slut if you lose your virginity even if it's to someone you love
Also...CHRIST how can ANYONE predict who they're going to be with for their entire life?? Are you crazy?
I honestly can't say who I will spend my life with...or even if I will spend my life with one person. I can't sit around and wait for mythical Prince Charming to come along because he only exists in fairy tales. I think young girls should be given a much better message than they're given by people like you and on the opposite side people from MTV. You don't have to be a slut to lose your virginity and you don't have to be prude to save it for marriage. You should have sex when you feel ready and you don't have to save it for one person. There is nothing ethical about repressing yourself. Also, sex with someone you love isn't less special because you lost your virginity to someone else.
I liked that the film actually gave us that perspective (Angel gets on her mother's case for having too many partners). Both only participated in the contest because they were egged on and lied to by the other girls on the group, the one girl who actually does it completely regrets it.
The other girl who saves it....certainly doesn't say she's saving it for marriage. She's saving it for when she grows up and becomes an adult. That was the point of the film, that if you're a girl you have the right to stay a girl. The other uppity chick who initiated the contest probably lost her virginity in a very negative way and tried to justify it by acting as if it made her more adult.
*Btw I've always enjoyed Roger Ebert's reviews, but... he always screamed 30 virgin to me....and furthermore who is he to remark upon the state of women's sexuality?
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