Gotta give Ted credit


Just watched this last night on TCM and something really struck me.

SPOILERS!!!!

As distraught and heartbroken as Ted was when he lost custody, he never let his son see that. He told Billy how much fun it was going to be at Mommy's and how much Mommy loved him and how he'd have his toys with him and maybe get new ones...

He was warm and loving and encouraging, which is exactly what his little boy needed at such an emotional time.

It's so harmful when divorcing parents verbally bash their exes in front of their kids. Good on you, Ted!

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I agree. If only more parents would be that way with their kids while divorcing.

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My parents are exactly like this. I don't even remember them being married since I was two when they divorced. It was totally normal for me and my sister growing up to live with mom and my step-dad and to visit dad on the weekends. My parents NEVER said a bad word about each other to my sister and I. Once my maternal grandmother said something about my dad in front of me, and my mom took her aside and told her that she was out-of-line and to never talk badly about our dad in front of us again. We had great lives growing up...no tug of war, parents bad-talking each other, etc. They put us first not themselves. Everyone gets along really well, and now that we are grown, we have christmas at my sister's house and both mom, dad, step-dad, step-mom, all step-siblings are there and everyone gets along fine with each other. Don't know why people think it is so weird. If people could just put aside the bitterness of break-up/divorce, it would be so much better in the long run and so much better for the kids.

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I dont know why anyone would think its weird either. I wish my cousins parents would be that way with each other.

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I give him even more credit with the fact he could look in the want ads of a newspaper and get a new professional advertising job within a day!

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Totally agree.
And it was so sweet and heart-breaking that Billy seemed to be trying to do the same thing. He was trying to comfort Dad and trying not to cry (when he told dad to call him up if he got lonely).
Really shows how far Ted came in putting Billy first and developing a really solid relationship.

This is one of the most touching scenes to me of all movies. I havent' seen it in 10 years or more and it could still make me cry just thinking about it.

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Yeah the man may have made some mistakes and a lot of people really don't cut the character much slack for that, but in the end he showed his true colors as a father and a man. The mother sure showed her true colors in the end as well, but in a negative way

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I've never understood that. She was a mess and did what she thought was best for her son. Maybe she was wrong, maybe she was right, but refusing to take her son away from his father or even refusing to try for joint custody wasn't a bad thing under the circumstances.

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I"m not sure I follow your point. I don't see how she could be right in abandoning her son for like a year.

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You weren't talking about that. You were talking about the end. Would you have preferred that she took the child from the father who was obviously better equipped to take care of Billy? It shouldn't be surprising that you can't follow my point when you apparently can't even follow your own.

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Hey we're all human. I misspoke or I misunderstood what you were trying to say, I don't remember, sue me. By "showing her true colors in the end" I wasn't referring to the end of the movie. I meant in the end he stepped up and showed the kind of man he was and she showed her true colors by abandoning the kid.

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As distraught and heartbroken as Ted was when he lost custody, he never let his son see that.....He was warm and loving and encouraging, which is exactly what his little boy needed at such an emotional time.
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Ted Kramer was a good-hearted and decent person and the book goes into more detail—as is to be expected—about it's characters and fleshing them out. We all have our flaws and foibles and Ted was no different; but he was also resilient and not so self-absorbed, as to understood his initial confusion over Joanna walking out on him was his to deal with and he made a big an effort as possible, too not project this onto Billy.

Ted couldn't know his son as well as Joanna due to being the breadwinner of the family and Joanna leaving to find herself and get a career, this was something only possible for her to do, without having Ted and Billy around. This gave her more of an advantage, as when they were together, Ted was still being a husband and father and monetary provider. Joanna leaving, left her with no dependents around to hinder her progress and personal growth.

Joanna walks out on something she felt she couldn't cope with, Ted learned how to cope with a dependent child, even after losing a job—loses 2 jobs in the book and is stoney broke at one stage—yet still gets shafted by Joanna and the system, because she gets societies free pass, just for being female. She wanted back half of what she walked out on and felt entitled to it; only to come to the conclusion she didn't really want it after all. Even after finding her newfound freedom, she still comes across as cold and selfish and appears to lack some kind of genuine honesty in her being.

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