Did not like it at all

I think that's a valid criticism. Initially in the film, I felt the same way. But by the end, I was won over by the genuineness of Doris and George's relationship. It was clear that they both were torn between their devotion to their spouses and their love for each other. Of course, the fact that we never see their spouses kind of stacks the deck in their favor.

And yes, I hate when these boards devolve into name-calling matches.

I saw the play just last night at a local little theater. Never saw the movie, but I read it when I was a teenager (and thought myself oh-so-cool. I can say it wasn't my favorite play and it struck me as someone's effort to ape Neil Simon. (Can't remember author's name at the moment.)

I suspect that one of the reasons it was selected for the season was because of the hippie scene everyone trashes--GOD that was awful. I suspect it was chosen for that scene because of the anti-war sentiment which, frankly, did seem awfully relevant to the current Iraqi situation. That didn't make it any less annoying, though. The actress I saw was no Ellen Burstyn and she over played every scene she was in. The hippie scene went so far over the toop I wanted to scream. Unfortunately, the theater managers/owners are acquaintances and I wanted to be able to go back for future productions.

To answer your question: I had the same problem. Yes, I really wanted to like the characters. Despite the bad acting, they tried awfully hard to be sincere. But at the end I was still bothered by the fact that his wife had known about them for ten years and kept mum rather than destroy the relationship she had with him. And I was bothered by the fact that they kept expressing undying love for their spouses all the while they were having their affair (which, presumeably will continue on for years to come). Part of me was glad for the charactrers that they could world through their problems...but I was much irritated that they couldn't realize that what they were doing was wrong on many levels.




They don't teach anything at University. I had to recognize ducksh*t for brains by myself.

I feel the two characters knew what they were doing was wrong on many levels, but the connection was so strong they did not choose to break it. (I don't say they COULD NOT--that's a cop out. Volition is always at play.) I can see where you might have trouble identifying with and liking the characters if you have deep moral and/or religious objections to their behavior. But it's possible to empathize even with people who act differently from yourself.

I'm unsure why jessepenitent has a special problem with George's wife having known about the affair for ten years without saying anything. I'd say Helen was wise enough to know that George loved her profoundly and meant to stay. Twenty-four hours of predictable infidelity per year may have seemed a small price to pay for a marriage that was otherwise stable.

Infidelity is not always a deal-breaker. My husband took a permanent hike after a decade, in part because he wanted someone else but was too much of a prig to admit it to himself and too self-righteous to cheat. He did quite a hatchet job on my ego for 18 months to justify leaving. I'd rather he had gone to bed with another woman a few times, calmed down, and stayed. (But yes, I'm well rid of him.)

Every marriage is a black box: you can't truly understand what's going on inside of it, or decide for anyone else what they should or shouldn't put up with.

No never got the uneasy feeling with this film, the topic is, of course, adultery, but i also feel in the telling of their story you cannot sit in judgement about their adultery, some times they meet, no sex is involved. The characters have such a lovely relationship. Adultery is not acceptable, but this movie kinda makes you question if one person can be everything you want, need and desire in the soulmate stakes.

Infidelity is such a bad thing but when I saw it earlier on. I couldn't help but fall in love with the characters and how they developed through the years.

I wasn't bothered for the simple fact that I saw them as two individuals growing within a relationship rather than cheating spouses. It is just too good a story to let my sense of morality get in the way of this one.

After all, when the movie started, they introduced two ordinary people with their own share of plus and minuses, ups and downs so I wasn't expecting any squeaky clean characters in it. In other words, they aren't perfect. It just so happens that in their very ordinary, dull lives, they came across something beautiful and they just couldn't let it go.













People either love me or they hate me or they don't really care - Banksy

Hmm...it did bother me a bit.

But I found it so revealing of their characters and their feelings for each other when they both refused to leave their spouses.

I don't think it was the comfort of marriage that made them stay instead of running off to the sunset as a new couple.

I think they both knew that they would not last as a married couple. With having to put up each other on a day to day basis. THat's an extremely different kind of relationship from an affair you only have once a year and just get the highlights of what goes on in your lives.

the depth of their relationship with their spouses, actually eclipses what they get from their affair. Their affair is really nothing more than a mini-break. A cute diversion.

Helen understood this that's why she kept mum about it. She knew Alan Alda's character would never leave her. The level of relationship she had with Alan ALda is totally different with what he had with Ellen Burstyn.

I actually felt kinda silly for the illicit lovers. Settling for exciting crumbs. It may be fun and passionate, but it was still crumbs compared to a real deep relationship between husband/wife who have a long shared history. Not just anecdotes shared...but REAL LIFE EXPERIENCES. That's something not easily matched.