I, Claudius 40th Anniversary: Queen of Heaven

A Murderess Aspires to God!

Episode 7: Queen of Heaven
Broadcast Date: UK: October 25, 1976 US: December 18, 1977
Studio BBC/London Film Productions Ltd.
Producer Martin Lisemore
Director Herbert Wise
Writer Jack Pulman (Based on the novel by Robert Graves)
Starring Derek Jacobi, Sian Phillips, George Baker, Margaret Tyzack, Kevin McNally, Patrick Stewart, Patricia Quinn, James Faulkner, Fiona Walker, Kevin Stoney
Introducing John Hurt as Caligula Karin Foley as Helen
Guest starring Isabel Dean as Lollia

29 AD. Cementing his own power, Prefect Sejanus lauds Tiberius’ paranoia over conspiracies by his own family. As a result, the widow Agrippina finds all her friends victimized. Tiberius' son Castor is no exception, his wife Livilla secretly involved with Sejanus. Meanwhile, Claudius is invited to Livia’s birthday and learns much from it…

Death(s) of this episode: Lollia: suicide. Castor: poisoned. Livia: pneumonia.

Memorable quotes:
"Happy Anniversary!" -Caligula
"What of?" -Tiberius
"Well, what difference does it make? Can't you think of something? -Caligula

"Would a large dose really kill Castor?" -Livilla
"What're you saying?" -Sejanus
"I can't live without you. I can't. I think I'll die if you don't come to my bed every night. Such a little step to take from making him sleep every night to making him sleep forever!" -Livilla
"Then you'll need something stronger? Something that can be taken in small doses and never be detected?" -Sejanus
"Get it for me!" -Livilla
"You sure?" -Sejanus
"Yes!...And Afterwards?" -Livilla
"I'll divorce my wife and we'll get married. Then I'll have you all to myself." -Sejanus

"You'll have to behave from now on. And if you don't, I'll lock you in a room without any clothes, and visit you every day." -Sejanus
"You'd get tired." -Livilla
"Then I'd send my guards to stand in for me." -Sejanus
"How many?" -Livilla
"Three or four." -Sejanus
"I might not like them." -Livilla
"You'd be forced." -Sejanus
"I'd struggle and scream." -Livilla
"To no use." -Sejanus
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" -Livilla

"I would think it means that she [Livia] wishes you [Claudius] to dine with her. I'd take my own wine if I were you." -Herod

"We haven't even spoken for seven years. Did you know the last time she spoke to me was when Caligula burned the house down? Even then all she said was, 'If you haven't got a bucket, piss on it.'" -Claudius
"Your family are lunatics, you know that?" -Herod
"In that case, Herod, why don't you go back to your own family in Judea?" -Claudius
"Because I prefer the lunatics I know than the ones I don't." -Herod

"It's a present from Tiberius, isn't that nice of him? Of course, what he really wanted to know is how much longer I'm going to live." -Livia

"Remember this, monster [Caligula]: Your Uncle Claudius is a phenomenon: He's so old fashioned that because he swore an oath to protect his brother's children, he will never harm you." -Livia

"Why do you allow Caligula to act like that?" -Claudius
"Because it amuses me. And because he will be the next emperor of Rome. You don't believe me?" -Livia
"If you say so, grandmother. You know I don't concern myself with higher politics. Still, what about Castor? And Caligula has two older brothers." -Claudius
"Castor is ill and Thrasyllus says he won't recover. He also says Tiberius will choose Caligula to succeed him." -Livia
"Why?" -Claudius
"Vanity. Tiberius wants to be loved, at least after his death if not before. And the best way to insure that..." -Livia
"Is to have someone worse to follow him. He's certainly no fool." -Claudius
"He's the biggest fool in my family. I had always thought that that was you... but I think now I was wrong." -Livia

"Grandmother, after all these years, you didn't invite me to dinner just to tell me this." -Claudius
"The wine has made you bolder." -Livia
"You said you kept in with Caligula because he is to be the next emperor." -Claudius
"Lost your stutter as well." -Livia

"You wanted to know the truth and you called it a 'small' condition." -Livia

"What about my father, who was your son? And Germanicus, who was my brother? Did you poison them?" -Claudius
"No. Your father died of his wounds, and Placina poisoned Germanicus with out instructions from me. But I had marked them both down for death. They were both infected with that infantile disorder known as "Republicanism." -Livia

"You blockhead." -Antonia
"No. He's not a blockhead. It's we who are the blockheads. If Sejanus had come to us with a proposal like that we would have given him his marching orders. But Claudius knows better. Claudius sways and bends with each little wind that blows." -Herod
"By which you mean he's weak and cowardly." -Agrippina
"Perhaps. But at least he's still here." -Herod
"Yes. 'Well at least he's still here.' Still here and they all gone. It feels like a dream, dreamt by Livia sleeping fitfully in Hell." -Claudius (narrator)

"I hear you're dying, great grandmother." -Caligula
"You won't forget your promise, will you?" -Livia
"To make you a goddess? And what makes you think that a filthy, smelly old woman like you could become a goddess? I don't need you anymore, you see, great grandmother. My secret will die with you. You are going to stew in hell for ever and ever. Let me tell you something: Thrasyllus has made another prophecy. Told Tiberius. He said, 'One who is going to die soon will become the greatest god the world has ever known. No temples will be dedicated to anyone but him in the whole Roman world, not even to Augustus.' Do you know who that one is? Me. Me. I shall become the greatest god of all. And I shall look down on you suffering all the torments of hell, and I shall say, 'Leave her there. Leave her there forever and ever and ever.' Goodbye, great grandmother." -Caligula
"I want to be a goddess Claudius. I deserve it!" -Livia

Trivia:
-The children of Castor and Livilla were Julia (called Helen in this series) and Gemellus (the survivor of twins).
-One wonders where Claudius' son Drusillus went. Historically, he died around this time period, choking on a pear. Graves has Livia murder her great-grandson because Sejanus was planning to marry his daughter to the boy behind the matriarch's back.
-Livia gives Claudius the Sibylline verses. Here it is by Robert Graves:

A hundred years of the Punic Curse/ And Rome will be slave to a hairy man,/ A hairy man that is scant of hair,/ Every man's woman and each woman's man./ The steed that he rides shall have toes for hooves./ he shall die at the hand of his son, no son,/ and not on the field of war.
The hairy one next to enslave the State/ Shall be son, no son, of this hairy last./ He shall have hair in a generous mop./ He shall give Rome marble in place of clay And fetter her fast with unseen chains,/ And shall die at the hand of his wife, no wife,/ To the gain of his son, no son.
The hairy third to enslave the State/ Shall be son, no son, of his hairy last./ He shall be mud well mixed with blood,/ A hairy man that is scant of hair./ He shall give Rome victories and defeat/ And die to the gain of his son, no son-/ A pillow shall be his sword.
The hairy fourth to enslave the State/ Shall be son, no son, of his hairy last./ A hairy man that is scant of hair,/ He shall give Rome poisons and blasphemies/ And shall die from a kick of his aged horse/ That carried him as a child
The hairy fifth to enslave the State/ To enslave the State, though against his will,/ Shall be that idiot whom all despised./ He shall have hair in a generous mop./ He shall give Rome water and winter bread/ And die at the hand of his wife, no wife/ To the gain of his son, no son.
The hairy sixth to enslave the State/ Shall be son, no son, of this hairy last./ he shall give Rome fiddlers and fear and fire./ His hand shall be red with a parent's blood./ No hairy seventh to him succeeds/ And blood shall gush from his tomb.
-Urgulanilla's (Claudius' first wife) illegitimate daughter (sired by a freedman) was named Claudia.
-Some info about Thrasyllus' prophecy of this dead god: Graves puts Livia's death in 29 AD. At the time when I, Claudius was written, some historians set that year as the date of the crucifixion.
-This is the first episode not to begin or end with Caesar Claudius.
-Neil Dickson, here portraying a Praetorian Guard, will reprise his role (well, the role is a Praetorian Guard under Tiberius) in the 1985 TV mini-series A.D.: Anno Domini, starring James Mason (Tiberius), Richard Kiley (Claudius), Paul McEnery (Caligula), Ian McShane (Sejanus), Colleen Dewhurst (Antonia), Susan Sarandon (Livilla) and Damien Thomas (Herod Agrippa). Another player, Angela Morant, also portrayed Octavia in I, Claudius Episode 1.
-Caligula getting on his grandmother's death bed was a last-minute addition by John Hurt.