Unbeliavably awful movie that is also annoying and bad too
Warning! SPOILERS below! this movie is 37 years old and lacks any coherent screenplay, acting or direction, but who am I to ruin your pleasant surprise.
The movie starts with two main protagonists on their way to the resort. One is overly smug, the other is overly stupid and inept. So these two idiots, start "having fun" in the resort, and apparently the fun consist of drinking whiskey, which is something extremely edgy and new, shooting robots, fist-fighting robots and having sex with robots. While shooting something that looks exactly like a human being can probably satisfy your inner psychopath, I'm not very sure that punching metal with bare fist or sticking your wang inside a cold mess of metal and wires can be funny either. Not to mention that the robot hooker had the charm and the sexual appeal of Hannibal Lecter.
What about blowing the prison wall while you're still in your tiny 2x2 meters prison cell? Bleeding years and torn limbs not sounding fun enough?
Maybe fun is hanging with your buddy in the boring desert for an entire day and laughing like an idiot under the scorching sun, presumably hiding from the "posse" which will never come - the robots doesn't even try to chase them. They're not smart enough for that.
The last "fun activity" we see is the classic saloon fight. The protagonists happily punch metal in the face and roll around in broken glass and sharp wooden debris, without a single scratch. They wake groggily on the saloon floor in the morning, which means the fight went on for at least 4 hours, until they were exhausted enough to fall asleep.
At this point, the park attractions start to fail, (seems like Michael Crichton really loves writing about malfunctioning parks).
They fail, by artificial snakes biting, and robot hookers refusing to engage in rampant sex. The supervisors of the resort just wait to see what will happen and whether any of the robots will kill someone. They do. Simultaneously. In a mass bloody revolution. And apparently they also start killing themselves too.
The best laugh for me was when the smug protagonist got shot by the Gunslinger. Finally, some different emotion was shown on his smug face. "They shot me? But I was just starting to show off my smugness!" *Dies.* The other guy stares at him like he's watching a potato. Then he starts running exactly like Mr Bean. I swear, he was imitating him perfectly, flailing limbs, unstable trot and all.
Even more funnier were the supervisors who apparently were in a room opened only from outside (?), and somehow died in a matter of minutes (?), because they ran out of oxygen (or brain cells). Which was strange, because a room like that could support them at least for a day, minimum. The room probably wasn't even hermetically locked, they could never run out of fresh air.
Anyway, the Gunslinger, starts chasing Mr bean, and he walks like he soiled his pants. Extremely awful music accompanies all this, to make sure you suffer even more. Then a sequence of scenes follow, in which Mr Bean rides through the desert, and the Gunslinger chases him. This goes on for 10 minutes. Without a single word.
Mr Bean enters the technician's compound, and fools the Gunslinger by laying on the tables and pretending to be a damaged robot. Despite the fact that The Gunslinger can see his body temperature this plan somehow works long enough for Mr Bean to be able to throw a glass of acid on the robot's face in a desperate attempt to melt him completely. Of course, this idiotic plan fails miserably, as expected and we enjoy some cheap face-melt FX, represented by some foaming substance dripping under Yul Brinner's fedora. The robot turns away "in pain" (?) and Mr Bean runs away. He gets to the Medieval place and makes himself invisible for the robot AGAIN by standing still. We know it works for Tyrannosaurs - why not for robots too. Ok, maybe it wasn't the fact that he didn't move but maybe because he was under a flaming torch. Anyway the robot turns away and is about to leave, at which point Mr Bean decides it's the best moment to run immediately, and stumbles upon a metallic vase, which makes a huge "DING" sound and it seems it couldn't get more ridiculous but it does. The robot attacks him and Mr Bean manages to set him ablaze with a single touch of a torch. Apparently the clothes and outer layer of the robots were made by highly flammable materials. The robot runs around in flames and pain (?) and this is the last position we see him in. Seriously, they just pan and cut to the next scene. Which is hands down the funniest scene in the entire movie. Mr Beans enter a dungeon and sees a pretty woman in chains. He releases her and force feeds her some water despite her clearly saying "No water! No water!" and tuning away her head. I guess the prison blast damaged his ears. Anyway, the chick is short-circuited, because *GASP* it turned out she's a robot! Who would've thought it in this robot infested place! Well certainly not Mr Bean, he's kinda slow. Also, judging by this outcome, these robot hookers obviously DOESN'T swallow. ZING!
Suddenlytheburnedrobotjumpsinhisfaceandstartleshimandthequickcutsmakeitveryscary!
Then the robot finally drops dead, and MrBean immediately assumes his facial expression of a lobotomized calf on heavy drugs.
Worst. Movie. Ever. It's like all involved in this never made any movie before that. And i kept expecting at least some message or explanation in the end, but it never came. This is literally a 70's horror movie about robots, without the horror, (unless you count the directing). It's not surprise that Spielberg and Lucas made their successful debuted at this point. Any director who was able to create a story that follows some basic logic would've been successful.