I can't ever decide between these two:
Dermott: Go into the bathroom and take off all your clothes.
Nicole: Are we planning the same sort of crime?
and
(something like this)
Dermott: Put the scrub girl's outfit on.
Nicole: What's that going to accomplish?
Dermott: Well, for one thing, it'll give Givenchy a night off.
I love them both too - but think I'd plump for the latter - one of the reasons I like it so much is like the rest of the movie it assumes the viewer is intelligent and knowledgeable.
The movie assumes we know about Cellini and Givenchy, about Cezanne and Van Gogh., The movie refers to spectrographs and makes jokes about conglomerates with diverse subsidiaries. The movie assumes we know of the greater likelihood of revolutions in Latin America and of the temper of Charles DeGaulle (then French president). The movie assumes we know of the expense of the Ritz, and of the
E.g., I liked the lines:
Hepburn: "Oh, what a wonderful wine. How did you choose it?"
Wallach: "I own a vineyard."
Hepburn (delighted): "You do?"
Wallach: "It's a subsidiary of Eastern Coal and Coke, which is a subsidiary of Western Wool and Flax".
Hepburn: "Oh. And what is the multiple of your earnings?" (I paraphrase)
Wallach (delighted): "You know, I love talking to you...."
Hepburn looks happy.
Wallach (delighted): "... It's just like talking to a member of the Board."
Hepburn (crestfallen): "Oh. Thank you."
The idea of his vineyard being a subsidiary of Eastern Coal and Coke strikes me as hilarious - and very satirical given the time (e.g., the Gulf & Western conglomgerate that had swallowed Paramount Motion Pictures, Harold Geneen's ITT giant acquiring all kinds of unrelated companies like Hertz, etc.).
The movie assumes we're bright, aware of the world, and it's so nice to be flattered.
There are so many wonderful lines in that movie, it's hard to choose. I like the following:
Nicole: I can't drive a stolen car!
Simon: Same principle, four gears forward, one reverse.
-------
Simon: Where have you been?
Nicole: I was getting engaged. - Come on! - This fellow turned up just as I was leaving. He wants to marry me. I didn't want to keep you waiting, so I got engaged to him. Is it alright, am I on time?
Simon: Oh, fine. In fact, we have about 10 more minutes, so if you'd like to go back and marry him...?
-------
Simon: I want you to take a long last look at the blue sky, the green grass, the trees and the river, all of which I loathe personally, which is why a juicy stretch in a cozy French prison doesn't bother me at all.
-------
Nicole: You wouldn't think that I'd steal something that didn't belong to me!?
Simon: Forgive me. I spoke without thinking.
-------
(When Nicole starts dressing Simon's wound)
Simon: What's that?
Nicole: Iodine.
Simon: Will it hurt?
Nicole: For a burglar you're not very brave, are you?
Simon: I'm a society burglar, I don't expect people to rush about shooting me.
Nicole: Take your hand away so I can put this stuff on.
Simon: Ouch!! That hurt!
Nicole: Don't be such a baby, it's only a flesh wound.
Simon: Happens to be my flesh.
Nicole: You have to expect some occupational hazards. You broke in here to steal!
Simon: Could we keep personalities out of this conversation? (examines his arm) Fine. A thing like that could keep me out of action for a week.
Nicole: Temporarily, you have to go straight. - Look, it's late and I'm tired and I have to work in the morning.
Simon: You work?
Nicole: Some people do, you know!
--------
Charles Bonnet: I doubt very much if Van Gogh himself would have gone through so much trouble!
Nicole: He didn't have to, Papa, he was Van Gogh!
--------
Simon: It's national crime prevention week. Take a burglar to dinner.
--------
Simon: (referring to the closet) It's the height of the tourist season, everything was booked out. This is the best I could do.
And I also very much like the line about giving Givenchy a night off.
I can do anything I want to Baby, I ain't lost
Those are just wonderful. Do you own the movie? How else could you write such extended dialogue? I'm grateful. They are WONDERFUL lines!
shareYes, thank God I own it. Here are some more:
Nicole: The Cellini Venus is a fake!
Charles: That's a word we don't use in this house!
---------
Charles: What have I done? I'm giving the world a precious opportunity of studying and viewing the Cellini Venus!
Nicole: Which is not by Cellini!
Charles: Ah, labels! It's working with the Americans that's given you this obsession with labels and brandnames! I wish you'd give up that ridiculous job.
Nicole: Don't you know you can't fake sculpture anymore? It's not like painting!
Charles: I know. I know about their so-called tests.
Nicole: They're not so-called, they are! Look Papa. One quick whiff of something called potassium argon, and they can tell the age of a stone, where it was quarried, when it was cut, and probably the name and adress of the man who did it!
Charles: Well of course! Why do you suppose I haven't sold it? I was offered recently... Oh, it gives me a twinge when I think of it. I was offered one million dollars! But I won't sell it. I don't even charge rent! So why should they test it? Did you hear Grammond say 100.000 souvenir postcards? They'll be mailed all over the world. Our Venus! Don't you feel a kind of a thrilling glow in all that?
Nicole: There are chills run up and down my spine.
Charles: Ah, the basic trouble with you is that you're honest. I don't say that to hurt your feelings!
Nicole: I get dizzy spells when we have these conversations, Papa.
Charles: What you need is a brandy. - My darling, what you must understand is that I'm pleased and proud that our Cellini Venus is a forgery. If it were genuine, what would it be? A piece of sculpture made centuries ago by some over-sexed Italian. But our Cellini Venus is really our own! So be proud of it. Your own grandfather made it, and your own grandmother posed for it. For months she stood there without moving a muscle whilst your grandfather perpetuated her in marble. That was naturally before she started eating those enormous lunches...
------------
Nicole: Lovely dinner. Marvellous wine! How did you know how to choose it?
Davis: I own the vineyard.
Nicole: Well, what fun!
Davis: It's a subsidiary of Eastern Cole and Coke.
Nicole: Eastern Cole and Coke?
Davis: That's a subsidiary of Western Wool and Flax.
Nicole: Fascinating. What's your growth factor?
Davis: Say! You're marvellous. You're wonderful! You know, usually I have trouble talking with girls, but with you, it's as though you're a member of the Board!
Nicole: That's very nice of you, Mr. Leland, but I just wish I didn't have this feeling that there's some subject you're trying to avoid. There is something, isn't there?
Davis: Yes. I hate to say this...
Nicole: Yes?
Davis: But you see, it has to do with your father and the Bonnet collection.
Nicole: Oh.
Davis: Yes. You see... Damn it, this is hard for me to say...
Page (interrupting): Mr. Davis Leland?
Davis: Yes?
Page: Long distance call, Mr. Leland. United States, California.
Davis: How the devil did they track me down here? Please excuse me, I'll cut it short.
(Davis leaves, Simon appears)
Nicole: Oh no!
Simon: Not a very cordial greeting! I went to considerable trouble to arrange these few precious moments alone.
Nicole: Leave the table!
Simon: It's national crime prevention week. Take a burglar to dinner.
Nicole: My escort has a very ugly temper! Now go and call off that fake telephone call!
Simon: There's something I must tell you.
Nicole: Oh, how I'd like to take another shot at you!
Simon: It's important.
Nicole: Either you leave this table or I'll start screaming!
Simon: Yes, I'll go.
Nicole: Choose!
Simon: Just tell me where and when we can meet.
Nicole: Choose and make it fast!
Simon (turns to leave): Remember. Simon Dermott, Room 136, the Ritz. It's urgent!
(Davis returns, Simon retreats)
Davis: Now where were we?
Nicole: With my father and his collection.
Davis: Oh yes. I hate to have to say this, Miss Bonnet. I arranged our meeting.
Nicole: Why?
Davis: It's this ridiculous obsession, it devours me. From the minute I first laid eyes on it I was lost, helpless, completely caught up in this awful compulsion.
Nicole: Laid eyes on what?
Davis: The Cellini Venus, of course. I saw it last night, it haunted me. I can't think of anything else. I haven't slept a wink all night. This morning when I learned your father wouldn't sell I started pulling strings to meet you, hoping somehow to use you to get the Venus! - Well, that's it.
Nicole (relieved): You poor, dear, dear man!
Davis: No. No, don't spare my feelings.
Nicole: I'm sorry you fell in love with the Venus, she's not for sale. And believe me, if she were mine, she'd be on your doorstep in the morning! But, oh... (kisses him) that's your consolation price!
Davis: Why, you kissed me!
Nicole: Yes! (kisses him again) And that's for emphasis! (laughs) Well, shall we dance?
Davis: Oh, yes!
------------
(Nicole is sitting in the Ritz bar, waiting for Simon. Simon enters, sees her but passes her by)
Nicole: Pssst.
Simon (turns around and looks at her disbelievingly): I didn't recognize you, you look somehow different. (to the waiter) Scotch.
Nicole: Likewise.
Simon: I was surprised to hear from you, surprised and pleased, Miss B...
Nicole: Please, no names.
Simon: Well, if it's all that private, I've got a bottle in my room upstairs.
Nicole: This is a business meeting! I find I have need of someone with your talents and experience, Mr...
Simon: Please, no names.
Nicole: You interested in a big-time caper?
Simon: A what?
Nicole: A heist.
Simon: A heist?... Oh, you mean a burglary... - What's the score, baby?
Nicole: Won't be easy.
Simon: That's okay. What's the job? I'm in.
Nicole: The Kléber-Lafayette-Museum.
Simon: I'm out! - Why that particular spot?
Nicole: The Cellini Venus!
Simon (exclaims): Your...? (softer) Your Cellini Venus?
Nicole: Well, it's not mine, exactly, it's sort of in the family. Anyway, that should be no concern of yours.
Simon: You... you want to steal it? Why? - Is it a publicity stunt?
Nicole: Lord no, it's very valuable. It's worth a million dollars!
Simon: I know. There are also a million policemen prowling around it. That works up to about a dollar a policeman. I don't like the rate of exchange.
Nicole: You mean you won't do it?
Simon: No!
Nicole: Are you sure?
Simon: Quite sure. I'm sorry! Thank you for thinking of me. (Nicole turns to leave, disappointed) Look, finish your drink.
Nicole: I have to go.
Simon: Are you really serious? You've seen the way your statue is protected? The Electric Eye, the guards...
Nicole: Well, I was hoping to leave those details to you.
Simon: Yes, well... I'll sleep on it and... uh... it's too late now, the museum's closed... we'll go around it in the morning and look over the premises. What we call in the trade "casing the joint".
Nicole (offers a handshake): Thank you very much.
Simon: Look, it's early. Why don't I show you the real Paris. (moves closer)
Nicole (retreating): I... that's very kind of you but... I live here. I was born in Paris.
Simon: Oh, I forgot. Well, why don't you show me the real Paris?
Nicole: I only have two inches left of this bench.
Simon: Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
Nicole: Where and what time tomorrow?
Simon: Yes, um... well, I find that the most successful jobs of this kind are planned when everyone is relaxed. So let's meet and have a nice, long, cozy lunch. (Nicole tries to retreat, disappointed, Simon holds her back) Corner of avenue Gabriel, avenue Marigny, 10:00 am. Right?
Nicole: Right.
---------
(Nicole and Simon enter Simon's hotelroom)
Simon: Right. There's the bathroom. Take off your clothes.
Nicole: Are we planning the same sort of crime?
Simon: You're quite safe. It's dress rehearsal time. That's why we bought all that lovely junk. Come on!
Nicole (dubiously): Well, if it's a necessary part of the plan... Are you sure?
Simon: Chatter, chatter, chatter, chatter, chatter, do as you're told. (closes the bathroom door behind her and tries out the boomerang on the balcony. Nicole returns in her "scrub woman" outfit) Oh, that's nice. Yes, that's... that's really nice. It just needs one more little touch. (dishevels her hair and puts the hat on her head) Oh yes... now turn around for me. Go on! (Nicole complies) Yes, that's fine. That does it.
Nicole: Does what?
Simon: Well, for one thing, it gives Givenchy a night off. Now... (hands her the scrub brush and the bucket) Down. Down! Scrub the floor. Scrub!
Nicole (complies): Crime doesn't pay, does it.
Simon: Ellbow grease. Scrub! And don't sulk! At 11:57 pm all hell will break loose in the museum. And at midnight the scrub women come trooping in. And whatever happens, hang on to your bucket.
Nicole: You do have a plan, don't you!
Simon: Of course I have. Now listen very carefully. My plan is, on the night of the crime, my plan and I will be curled up in that bed with a good book.
Nicole (very disappointed): Why?
Simon: Why? You ask me why? Well, I ask you why! Why are we breaking into a heavily guarded museum to steal a precious statue which belongs to you? Why?
Nicole: But I told you why, I mean I told you... I couldn't tell you why.
Simon: Not good enough!
Nicole: You're perfectly right, I mean, in your place I'd feel the same way. I'm in this awful trouble. But... it's nothing to do with you, I... I can't explain, so I'm stuck. - I'll get out of these clothes.
Simon: Don't you dare cry!
Nicole: I'm not, I've got something in my eye.
Simon: There's nothing wrong with your eye, you're crying, you're trying to soften me up!
Nicole: It's not true!
Simon: It won't work! I'm too tough!
Nicole: I know. I'm going.
Simon: Hurry up! Go on, hurry up! Go. Go! (Nicole turns, reluctantly) And meet me at the museum at 5:30 pm, sharp. (Nicole turns back) And don't ask me why, or I'll hit you with a bucket!
Nicole (happily): Yes sir! Thank you sir! (returns to the bathroom)
Simon (hits himself with the bucket on the head)
---------
I'll have more for you soon.
I can do anything I want to Baby, I ain't lost
i think i honestly love every line, but i just love when simon is in the car with nicole after being shot, and grabs the wrong arm, and when she points this out, he answers: "the infection is spreading!"
shareI may watch this again tonight...I do like this one mentioned above:
Nicole: You do have a plan, don't you!
Simon: Of course I have. Now listen very carefully. My plan is, on the night of the crime, my plan and I will be curled up in that bed with a good book.
Ah, the rapier wit of an armless D'Artagnan.
That line about the infection is great. I just love it when he calls her a taxi outside the Ritz and asks her to wipe off the frame of the painting
Nicole: Certainly. Anything else, you wouldn't like a forged passport and some money?
Simon: No just that.
Nicole: You're mad. I suppose you want to kiss me goodnight?
Simon: Well I don't usually, not on the first aquaintence but seen as you've been such a good sport (kisses her)
What I wouldn't give to be Audrey Hepburn there. And of course one of the other classics not yet mentioned.
Charles Bonnet: Nicole, this tall ruthless fellow with blue eyes, he didn't molest you did he?
Nicole: (shakes her head, then almost sadly) Not much.
The scene where he's throwing the boomerang thing cracks me up evertime:
Nicole - You think you have a scheme that might work
Simon - Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Nicole - You really are the smuggest and most hateful man
Simon - If you frequent criminal circles you can't be choosy
How do you like being a gansters moll baby
definitely I was going to post:
Charles Bonnet: Nicole, this tall ruthless fellow with blue eyes, he didn't molest you did he?
Nicole: (shakes her head, then almost sadly) Not much.
That was for sure the one that takes the cake.
and it was the randomness, how it sort of came across him to ask her.
and the way she said "not much" it was so "cute"
I agree, the dialogue of the movie is brilliant, but for some reason the one you mentioned is my favorite as well. He's such a bad faker.
I want to hold the hand that holds the world - Starfield
The dialogue is completely brilliant, but the delivery was, too. "You wouldn't like a forged passport, or some counterfeit money, or..." is good, but Audrey made it ten times better. Same with Peter O'Toole (what a shame that nobody appointed themselves his taskmaster and forced him to make more movies! We just don't have enough examples of his genius.). His beautiful blue eyes make me swoon, but the way he TALKS...be still my beating heart.
(Simon) It worked!...They turned off the little .... (pauses, looks at Nicole in astonishment) It worked!
(Nicole) Well, didn't you expect it to?!
(Simon) Yes...
(Nicole) Pull yourself together! You're a genius!
(Simon) I know. It's a funny feeling.
Also...
(Simon) Night flyer to dawn patrol! Night flyer to dawn patrol! Our telephones may be tapped so we'll conduct this entire conversation in Swahili. (voice changes to sexiest drawl possible) How are you? You sleep well?
(Nicole) Oh Simon, isn't it too awful? I slept beautifully! And I've just had the most enormous breakfast. Isn't it ghastly?
(Simon) It's your tainted blood. Who? Wha...? Oh! She's fine. I wrapped her in one of my old shirts. Just as snug as can be. I rocked her to sleep in my arms last night, it's the first time I ever did that with a grandmother.
"Well, it was pitch dark and there he was! Tall, slim, blue-eyes...quite good-looking...in a brutal, mean way, Papa! A terrible man!"
Also: "Your's is a capricious nature. Do you always blow hot and cold like this?"
Oh, Peter...
~No sympathy for the devil...remember that...buy the ticket, take the ride.~
Simon (looking intently from the Cellini Venus to Nicole and back again): Where precisely were you during the latter part of the sixteenth century?
Nicole: I don't know, but that's not how I was dressed.
--------------
Simon (to Nicole as they are leaving at the end): Who's that?
Nicole: It's Papa's cousin. From South America.
Simon: You know, for someone who only started lying recently, you're showing a real flair.
--------
This is a great movie. Two great actors doing a rare comic turn together. Absolutely delightful.
One line that always gets neglected is when she says "it's my first robbery!" and he replies "mine too" in an almost throw-away fashion.
This movie is an over-looked gem.
Not exactly a funny line, but so, so sweet. It's the scene right after Simon reveals that he's not a thief to Nicole, and her father joins them at the table:
Simon: You have two gorgeous girls in your family, Mr. Bonnet.
Bonnet: Two?
Simon: The other is upstairs wrapped in a shirt in my room.
Bonnet: A-ha!And which, may I ask, do you intend to keep?
Simon: (finishes pouring champagne) The real one.
*SIGH*... And wouldn't every girl love to have a gorgeous, blue-eyed boy say that about them? *SIGH*... :-)
Did I mention I love this movie?
[deleted]
I just have to come back and post another one I like...when she is driving him back to the hotel and she wants to know where he lives, and he says "The Ritz" in this fairly matter-of-fact way, and she says, "The WHAT?"
The inflection there - I don't know what it is about the way she says it, it's more like, "The - what." Like it's not even a question, like, "Yeah, right." It's so funny!
So now, I am starting to look for opportunities to respond in this tone of voice. Unfortunately, sometimes this is hard to do!