Mostly Harmless Fun, a Few Nasty Touches, Very Silly
As might be expected from a movie titled Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine, this film ranges from silly to ridiculous, but I hasten to say mostly entertaining between cringeworthy moments. I liked it better than I was afraid I would. It helps if the viewer has at least a passing familiarity with James Bond films of which this is a parody, and of other cultural items of the time. There is a Señor Wences reference which is very brief and very funny if a person knows who that was.
Vincent Price is absolutely perfect as the genially evil title character. The plot, such as it is, involves him inventing a machine which produces beautiful female robots referred to as “the girls,” each of which is assigned a number and directed to court various rich and powerful men for the purposes of defrauding them of their wealth. They emerge from the machine dressed in gold bikinis. Number 11, known as Diane, is accidentally sent to a sort of secret agent type detective, Craig Gamble, played by Frankie Avalon, rather than millionaire Todd Armstrong, played by Dwayne Hickman. The two begin to work together to uncover Goldfoot’s scheme, for which an undertaking establishment is a cover.
Dr. Goldfoot is foiled at every turn by his assistant, the undead idiot Igor, who he resurrected. As for violence, the nastiest is only threatened. Dr. Goldfoot gives some of the “girls” binoculars armed with poisoned daggers to stab into the eyes of romantic rivals, or a laser lipstick to disintegrate them. Presumably the men who are the targets for exploitation are assumed not to mind their wives and girlfriends being dispatched in such a manner. Robot Diane is tortured in an electric chair, and there is also a torture chamber in Dr. Goldfoot’s dungeon for human subjects. No serious injuries are inflicted, it’s more the thoughts of such that makes the sensitive viewer cringe.
The whole thing comes to a peak with an extremely extended and wild car chase through San Francisco, ending in what should certainly have been a double fatality, except that Igor is already dead, but Dr. Goldfoot and Igor are not so easily defeated.
The likability of Frankie Avalon and Dwayne Hickman and Price’s wonderful performance make this film bearable and even enjoyable in places, but I wouldn’t recommend it for kids, or for any adults who can’t stand comic violence and excessive silliness.