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Things I Learned from Bad Girls Go to Hell

posted 17 years ago by heckles
10 replies | jump to latest

1). In 1965, carrying around twenty extra pounds did not stop an actress from being a sex symbol.

2). New York at the time was so crime free the headline in a newspaper screamed of an unsolved murder in -Boston-.

3). Everyone that year, from sleazy alcoholic bachelors to sweet diabled ladies, was gaga over Danish Modern.

4). Doris Wishman owned a camera that could linger forever over a woman's feet but would jerk suddenly when a breast was about to be exposed.

"Quit whining. I evaded your vital organs." --Motoko Aoyama

[–] 17 years ago

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[–] thecultofhorror 16 years ago

5) When someone had something to say you looked at the expression of the other person's face.

6) When in underwear, change underwear to later on be in another pair of underwear.

7)After being attacked by a strange man, live with a strange man in a strange city and later on live with another strange man.

[–] MovieMarauder 16 years ago

8. If, while being brutally raped by a janitor in your apartment building, you are forced to kill your assailant, for crying out loud, DON'T GO TO THE POLICE!!! They will no doubt blame you for the whole ordeal, and your husband will never forgive you.

9. New York is the only possible city in which a nondescript-looking housewife can "blend into the crowd."

10. Every woman in America owns at least one translucent negligee and/or lace catsuit.

11. Minimal quantities of alcohol can turn even the nicest guy in your neighborhood into a belt-brandishing psychopath.

[–] thecultofhorror 16 years ago

12. although the raging abusive alcoholic is adamanant about not going out drinking, he still has whiskey underneath his kitchen sink.

13.when shooting a doris wishman sex scene, feet and legs are the substitute for boobs.

[–] MrBook_ 16 years ago

Twenty extra pounds???

I AM NOT MONTEL WILLIAMS.

[–] Howlin Wolf 11 years ago

Rubenesque figures - I like it!

"Your mother puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit?!"

[–] Braindead09 10 years ago

14/ Bathing Caps are a Euphemism for sex in a shower

15/ Always shoot a film with a faulty tripod that tilts downwards no matter the scene

16/ Put knickers on when going onto the landing when wearing a negligee, it extends the running time of a rape.

[–] Seaweed-2 10 years ago

17/ Always wear full make-up to sleep with your husband, but tone it down when you stay with alcoholics or lesbians.
18/ Women who wear fluffy high-heeled slippers to take out the trash still have really dirty soles on their feet when they get to bed.
19/ Women whose husbands go into work on a Saturday have plenty of time to work on their gymnastic contortionism.
20/ Women in the sixties had opaque nipples that would not show through a negligee.
21/ Men and Women in the Sixties ALL had trouble speaking and moving their lips at the same time, not just the ones who look Italian or Japanese.

[–] TheHungryAndAngryShow 10 years ago

22. Dancers who need a roommate need multiple line phones and a reel to reel machine. They also have a woman who stands in the room with her arms crossed watching everything they do.

23. Rapists whose wives rent out the extra room have very large record collections.

24. Boston looks suspiciously like New York City.

25. Crying in Central Park is a great way to find a place to stay.

[–] 10 years ago

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