MovieChat Forums > The Women (1939) Discussion > Poor Stephen Haines

Poor Stephen Haines

posted 17 years ago by tday-1
7 replies | jump to latest

Hi,one can never be too rich or have too many friends. I never saw the man but I always felt he was drowning in feminity. A loving wife,a too sweet daughter,a wise owl mother-in-law and a greeks chorus of servants discussing his every move. No wonder he rasn for Crystal. The morality is strange,it's wrong for Crystal to steal Stephen but ok for Paulette to steal Sylvia's husband.For all the trouble the matron Edith Potter caused,it's strange she's still in Mary's good graces. I always thought Stephen sounded like a wimp,sitting in his library crying into his hands because he can't get up gumption to leave Crystal.

[–] jdmartin61 17 years ago

tday-1,

Although we never see Stephan in the film, I have a clear visual of him. Almost 20 years ago I was watching the movie with my family. At the end my mother enthusiastically wondered what Stephan must have looked (been) like. I think he was a good man and I'm glad that Mary took him back, away from Crystal.

I believe that Stephan was going through the so-called "mid-life crisis". It is hard to understand that kind of thing in our era as opposed to what a man like Stephan went through in his day. After Mary divorced him (salvaging her pride?) and he was vulnerable to the wiles of Crystal, he had to marry her. He longed for a stable life with a wife no matter what. If Mary didn't want him (as he thought) Crystal did and that mattered to him more at that stage in his life.

I understand your last observations about "Edith" and "Miriam" remaining Mary's friends. I believe that Mary based her happiness on the things that matter in life as opposed to the things that don't. Neither Miriam nor Edith hurt Mary. Among Mary's friends, it was only Sylvia that couldn't wait to make it known to Mary that her husband was "straying." Her method of doing that was particularly mean (via the manicurist).

We don't live our day-to-day in the span of a movie, after all. Good friends matter to us all. Sylvia started the gossip among her friends and Mary. Later, when Sylvia arrived in Reno, she visciously gloated to Mary about her husband's 'other woman' in order to console herself for her own loss. I think those things are what made Mary want to avoid her over time.

I also think that Miriam made a better wife to Howard Fowler than Sylvia did and not just because Miriam and Howard may have had a good sexual relationship. Sylvia wanted Howard mainly for his money, etc. while Miriam wanted a good and lasting relationship with him. Who knows? This the kind of thoughtful story that has to be seen again and again in order to gain really useful insight into these people's life motives over their years. ("Well ladies, I guess it's back to the perfume counter for me...)

I believe that Stephan's mother-in-law respected him and that's why she advised her daughter not to do anything rash. She was older as she said and she had more experience. Even Mrs. Moorehead's husband, Mary's father, had a 'cutie' on the side at one point during their marriage. The first scene between Mary and her mother offers a great deal of insight into human relations and mutual respect.

John Martin, 46, TX

[–] puzzow 17 years ago

Don't you know- it's not that Stephen is a wimp, it's that it's Mary's *job* as a wife to swallow her pride and come back to reclaim him. Silly her for expecting him to leave the woman who's making him miserable, or to seek her out and apologize to her for breaking her heart and ruining their marriage. (*rolling eyes*)

[–] hunterofserenity-2 17 years ago

I don't know how so many people, on and off the show, can give Stephen a pass. Mary was a good wife to him, yet he strayed anyway. That is a very hard thing for a woman to live with, especially when she knows that she didn't neglect her husband.

Personally, I think Mary did the right thing by divorcing Stephen. Stephen got what he deserved by ending up with Crystal.

[–] ilahilda 17 years ago

Mom always said "Don't throw away gold for trash"!

[–] bonbk 16 years ago

I have no pity for Stephen Haines.
The OP felt sorry for him being surrounded by "all those women." His wife, daughter,AND mother-in-law. That's ridiculous!

He had a lovely wife who he was actually friends with, shared hobbies like tennis, skiing etc. Understandably people grow apart, but it seems like thy didn't until shprtly before they split. I think he went through a "mid-life crisis" and was flattered that an alluring, young, woman like Chrystal was attracted to him.

[–] jashobeam5 15 years ago

He was a sorry excuse for a man. He was not drowing in attention from women, he was a man without respect or love for his family. Look at the emotional turmoil he put his daughter through for TWO YEARS including making her be nice to her mother-in-law who hated her guts from the beginning (remember the scene where Mary told her to leave the daughter alone and Crystal makes it clear she cares nothing for Little Mary). Stephen was a self-absorbed worthless man who never deserved the family he had to begin with. I think he deserved Crystal and Mary was short-sighted to run back to him. As anyone could guess Stephen probably stayed faithful for maybe another year or two before he got "bored" again and cheated again.

[–] chrichrichri (184) 7 years ago

Poor Stephen - Crystal is the only side the women see of Stephens absence. In "the men" you would see what he is really doing all the time: drinking with his war buddies until late, bowling on weekends, showing off at his all-male office meetings... and in-between it is all about how to cheat best on their wives.