Huh? Did a man write this? What's the moral of the story? A wife should be forgiving if her husband sleeps with another woman? Should he be so forgiving if she cheats? Obviously, there was a double standard.
And this movie just portrays women, in general, as petty gossips.
Of course there is a double standard and the Women was written by a woman-a very famous woman of her era. Men have been always been having affairs and most wives either choose to accept it or not. In some cultures-even today it is the norm and wives tend to still deal w/it. Does not make it right but it's more common than some wives will admit.
shareBut she didn't forgive her husband at first! She decided to forgive him later b/c she still loved him.
"You might very well think that; I couldn't possibly comment."
It's hard to believe a woman wrote this story. It just goes to show that attitudes were different back then. If he was the one who cheated, why was it her responsibility to fight for the marriage?
shareRemember that she WASN'T fighting for the marriage at first. Mary went to her husband, angry and demanding a divorce. He didn't want one, because he said the girl "didn't mean anything to him". Mary wasn't satisfied with that answer (I don't blame her), and initiated the divorce anyway. Then the plot progresses to show Mary missing her husband, her husband missing Mary and miserable with the perfume girl he had the affair with. Even though Mary is given the opportunity to call her husband before his new marriage to tell him that she still loves him and wants him back, she doesn't, because she's too prideful to admit her feelings. The climax of the film is Mary running out to her husband, to forgive him, tell him how she truly feels and take him back.
I think the message of the movie is, not really pride isn't for a woman in love, but in relationships you have to compromise, and admit to your feelings. You cannot expect the other person to read your thoughts or automatically do everything you want. I don't know if I explained it correctly at all, because I'm terrible at explaining, but I believe I understood the main argument.
I think you did a good job of explaining it as that's how I read it. Being in love often means putting yourself second, thinking of your love and your relationship first, whether you're male or female. This was especially true for women in that era. It doesn't mean be a doormat, though and I don't think Mary is or will be.
And one must realize this movie was made some 70 years ago and the world has changed a lot since then. Crystal was the only major character in the film who held a job - the movie could have actually been called "The Wives" because that was really their whole existance other than the frivolous pleasures of gossip and shopping.
Well, it was specifically stated that there's no pride for a woman in love. She said right before she went after her ex-husband that she had no pride. I think you can still have pride while forgiving your cheating husband and taking him back. Just my opinion.
share[deleted]
I think she said that pride is a luxury that a woman in love can't afford (I.e.,the price is too great.) There is a difference.
Pride is what led her to rush to divorce him in the first place. She could have continued to have her "two for a nickel" pride, or she could bend and meet Steven halfway.
Get me a bromide! And put some gin in it!
I also feel that with Mary leaving her husband is that she didn't take him back so easily. She divorced him and sort of became a stronger woman and so he knows not to cheat on her again, that she does have the ability to leave him high and dry also the 80-20 rule is enforced here.
Extremely well summed up. I was gonna add that the character Miriam (Paulette Goddard) said basically the same thing to Mary at the ranch when she got her divorce- at least I interpreted that as the film's 'big lesson,' if you will. She mentions that women, just by *being* women, have got to make the compromises, be humble, clever, constructive, and mostly forgiving. It's actually a great monologue (I'm only judging the writing), though a bit dated for today- but this was, remember, in 1939.
shareHave you been watching movies of today, In most, it is even with women cheating on husbands just as much as men cheat. And to me there is no double standard. There are tons of movies where wives and girlfriends find new love, or engaged women dumping the guy at the alter. Can you name the last romance movie where the guy dumps his wife and finds true love? that's because there aren't many. Guys are portrayed most of the time as the reason the women wants out, he works to much, he's controlling and the many other reasons portrayed to give the story the reason why she wants out. But rarely is it women's issues that pushes the guy to find true love. I hope that some of you feeling there is a double standard against women, step back and take notice if there is one it is not against women but the portrayal of men. I hope this isn't taken personally but from someone whom feels the double standard in films is not as bad as most people think it is.
shareThat's true. The straying male is usually "punished," if only by losing the marriage he had, and the divorced woman always finds a much better man. There seems (for the woman) no sense of not knowing what you've got til it's gone.
I see equality between Stephen and Mary. He accepted the divorce SHE had insisted on and muddled on without her as best he could. Mary got the divorce she thought she wanted and lived to regret it. He cheated but she threw him out without even trying to make a stand for her marriage. He didn't love Crystal but married her thinking it was the right thing to do. Later Mary realized that her "two a nickel" pride was not worth what she had lost. I assume Stephen realized he had screwed up and was never going to cheat on Mary again. Each partner had treated their marriage lightly, each in his or her own way, and both became sadder but wiser people because of it.
Mary's mother and Miriam had it right.
I do believe Stephen tried to convince Mary he loved her. There are a lot of posts saying that they would fight for their man, which she didn't once the affair was public. And when Stephen married Crystal because it was the right thing to do, where was that decency when he started the affair. His pride seemed to be the white elephant in the room. He also married Crystal to make the affair decent. When he stopped loving Crystal, he wouldn't ask for a divorce, he just took it. Considering how generous he was, I can't see money as a reason. Maybe grounds for divorce were hard to get. I seem to remember that it was hard for a woman to get a divorce, but not the man.
A lesson learned by both, pride is a luxury that's too expensive when you're in love. So I think they both needed time to arrive at the same conclusion, at the same time, I Love You.
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