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Saw Joan F. in this and Born to Be Bad within a week, and BOTH...

posted 11 years ago by Clothes-Off
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Both films feature a woman who takes a man back after he went and married a woman who was clearly a horrible person. And in both cases there were people who knew and must have told each husband that he was taking up with a no-goodnik, but he did it anyway.

For that reason I find it maddening that these women could even look at such a fool again--particularly in TW with Crystal's obvious phoniness. (Fontaine's character in BTBB was such a master of passive-aggressive manipulation, you could almost understand him bring taken in--almost.)

No surprise, since Claire Boothe Luce was hardly a progressive person (witty though she was); so of course the lesson is hardly one for truly independent women. And the novel on which BTBB was based is even older. So I guess it's best to just enjoy these stories for the times in which they were set. But surely this is why that remake set in the present day was an unmitigated flop--and a waste of 14 years of Diane English's time.

"Well, for once the rich white man is in control!" C. M. Burns

[–] smcbee27 9 years ago

After 30+ years of marriage and the deepest love, respect and desire to live my life with my best friend and hubby I'd like to think I'd fight like hell to get him back and keep him! But it takes a special relationship, love and forgiveness to attempt a reconciliation after cheating. What I learned from this movie, which I first saw in our 2nd year of marriage is to never forget to make my hubs feel sexy and wanted and not focus only on bills, babies and house. To remember though a provider, husband, friend and father he is still a man who needs to feel wanted not just needed. The way to avoid such a situation, in many cases, is to keep communication active so the needs of both spouses are met.(It certainly isn't all about his needs!) I wouldn't recommend staying with a serial cheater or even a long term cheater (one affair lasting years) but if the foundation is strong enough, the relationship worthy and the man good in every other way I believe I certainly wouldn't walk out without trying to heal. Stephen was a good man who tragically had a moment of weakness and fumbled,fumbled. Something was missing in the relationship with Mary and Crystal saw this and used it to her advantage. Stephen was remorseful and even contrite so perhaps worthy of forgiveness and their marriage another go. I imagine if this happened IRL with everything exactly as it was in movie Stephen would never stray, he'd appreciate with a greater sense both Mary and their marriage and never stray or even wish to again. That would be worth another try,in my opinion!

Keep in mind also that women back then, especially those with wealth, almost expected their husband to stray and turned a blind eye to it. Mary's mother explains it very well in the movie. Simply put, you didn't walk away from a good situation (minus the straying, naturally) because a husband needed to feel young and sexy again.