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Why is she so unattractive? (a scientific examination)

posted a year ago by MoviesStillSuck (546)
15 replies | jump to latest

It’s a known fact to those of us who can be honest that Rihanna is the least attractive woman in Hollywood. But why is that? Her face has perfect symmetry, so lopsided bone structure can’t be the cause. Her skin is smooth and hydrated (plus it possesses a lovely tone), so that’s not it either. My hypothesis is that Rihanna is hideously unattractive due to her high forehead, a constant refusal to smile that borders on scowling, and eyes that she keeps 68% closed (which imparts a perpetual air of lethargy).

Discuss.

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[–] willjbeau (746) a year ago

You're looking at her face?

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[–] MoviesStillSuck (546) a year ago

It’s preferable when compared to the alternative, which is her grotesquely distended abdomen.

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[–] willjbeau (746) a year ago

Not sure if serious. You know she was pregnant, right? Show me a recent pic where she has this alleged "grotesquely distended abdomen".

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[–] MoviesStillSuck (546) a year ago

Is not a symptom of pregnancy a grotesquely distended abdomen?

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[–] willjbeau (746) a year ago

She's not pregnant anymore.

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[–] MoviesStillSuck (546) a year ago

Sure. That’s what they all say.

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[–] BrandNewPoster (10996) a year ago

She's not unattractive.

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[–] MoviesStillSuck (546) a year ago

I encourage you to be honest. To be…a man of science.

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[–] BrandNewPoster (10996) a year ago

I have thought about it scientifically and honestly can conclude she is not unattractive. Furthermore, I have ascertained that she is, in fact, a beautiful woman.

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[–] MoviesStillSuck (546) a year ago

You must have a leaky valve somewhere in your experiment that’s causing your results to be skewed in an unintended direction. I suppose we’ll just have to be patient and see if the same results are achieved by another team using your process.

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[–] BlackMass (1096) a year ago

Might be something to do with her "music". And the Frankie's Monster forehead, of course.

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[–] almonigal (1288) a year ago

U sure its 68% ?

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[–] MoviesStillSuck (546) a year ago

No. It’s 68.3%, to be exact.

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[–] moviechatterer (16052) a year ago

Now do one on yo momma , you know , as a control group for the experiment.

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[–] MoviesStillSuck (546) a year ago

My mom is actually an incredibly sexy woman, and unlike Rihanna, she’s never once been pregnant, because she knows how disgusting that is.

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