The Adventures of Thomas Sangster and the Maple Tree Forest Realm(again)
Once upon a time there was this old lady who lived in the US and moved to a castle in Transylvania where she got herself a maple tree forest and farmed maple syrup and bought a milkin cow and married an old man and they went back to America and adopted Thomas Sangster(whilst saving his career from Disney) and they brought him back to Europe and he got lost in the maple forest and was captured by the maple forest dwarves and he was all like - YO my grandmas been farmin this maple tree forest since she was like three! An the gnomes are all like YO well were the Maple Tree Gnomes of the Maple Tree Forest of the Maple Tree Forest Realm! Weve been here since we were like...TWO - and that was like two hundred years ago so like - YEAH - an thomas sangster was like...oh...an they took him down town to teh maple gnome square where they dried to get him to eat poisoned pickle maple juice and he was like...No...an they were all like - EAT THE PICKLE MAPLE JUICE! an he was like ...no....an they were all like - well...FINE. an they smacked my homie on the head with a jar of seed pods from the mystical maple syrup swamp an he was sent into a coma in which he experienced many odd delusions including that of a dancing TARDIS that turned into a hamburger right before his eyes whilst singing the safety dance in tye-dye. When he awoke from his trippy slumber he found himself in a labrynth of giant hedges shaped like hogs. He was totally surrounded when this little moth named Jiffy flew up his left nostril an he had to sneeze it out an he was like - Holy cricket! - an the moth was like...no dude i'm a moth...what are you smoking - an thomas sangster's all like...pickle syrup i think...but i'm not really sure-...one minute i'm surrounded by these little dudes an the next i'm seein dancin time machines and then i'm here - an the moth(who was purple with highlighter pink spots) was all like...pimp. an thomas sangster was all like - no...it's not "pimp" - it's ridiculous! Take me back to Transylvania! - an the moth was all like - Why should i? an thomas sangster was like...cuz i'm thomas sangster and i demand it. and the moth was all like...oh...an then he was all like - well dude ur stuck here cuz they hit u on the head w/the magic seedpod jar...an thomas sangster was all like - the magic what? - an the moth was all like - dude ur delusional. an thomas sangster was like - NO! i'm not delusional! an the moth was all like - well what colors am i? an thomas sangster was all like...well you appear to be purple with strange pink spots...and the moth was all like - WROOONG homie! i'm mooogie. an thomas sangster was all like - "Moogie" isn't a real color. an the moth was all like - oh yes it is. an thomas sangster was all like -shut up you druggie moth an the moth died. An thomas sangster was like...oh...an then he got up an he like...started walking forward, an he ran into a little gnome - an the gnome was all like - dude ur thomas sangster! an thomas sangster was like - are you on acid too? if you're on acid i'm leaving! an the gnome was all like - omg i totally like love all of your movies. you're totally the sheep! Thomas sangster was all like - i am not a sheep! i am a seventeen year old Briish actor and i rule - an the gnome was all like...w/e an it started walkin away an thomas sangster was like - STOP! where are you going? An the gnome was all like - to the monkey shaman! an thomas sangster was all like - can he get me out of here? an the gnome was like...i dunno - i'm going so i can buy a potato. potatos are good. an thomas sangster was all like...well can i come with you? an the gnome was all like - OMG ...yeah...an thomas sangster was about to pee himself because everything was so trippy an it smelled like bubble yum...an they went to go see the monkey shaman an he gave thomas sangster a pimp can an was all like... ... ... u will know what to do...an it had a little fist at the end of it like Lucious Malfoy's an thomas sangster was all like...w t f man...but he took it an as soon as he an the fangnome left the shaman monkies - the gnome bought a bag of green potatos - they were assaulted by an army of deer riding gnomes accompanied by a giant jukebox in the sky that played John Barrowman an they were all like...what do we do - an the gnome started throwing his green potatos an thomas sangster was all like...i don't think it's workin...but then one of teh potatos hit the giant jukebox in the sky an for a moment - the almighty swing power of Captain Jack Harkness stopped - an the army of gnomes an deer froze...then it started again an one of the gnomes little ninja gnome stars almost hit thomas sangster an he was totally p.o.'d...an then he looked at his pimp cane...an his pimp cane looked at him...an he knew what he had to do - he lifted the metal fist into the sky, an the air was filled with the hit single - CUZ WE WANT TOOO CUZ WE WANT TOOO! an the army of billie piper assembled behind thomas sangster an his little gnomy friend - an army wallabees with buddha bellies little pea shooter things that you shoot darts at people with - an one by one little blue darts took out the fierce little gnomes of the maple gnomes of the maple tree forest in the maple tree forest realm - an the almight awesomeness of john barrowman was overcome with billie piper's DAY AND NIGHT...and thomas sangster lowered his cane...behind him a chant rang out - a wonderful chant - "THOMAS SANGSTER IS MY GANGSTER WE GO TOGETHER LIKE CHICKEN AN SOUP - THOMAS SANGSTER AIN'T YO GANGSTER - THE THOUGHT OF YOU - MAKES HIM PUKE - EH." he was lifted into the air, pimp cane an all - an then - he got hit on the head with a rogue potato - to awake an find himself in a well - a small stone well right outside his castle in Transylvania full of maple syrup and cow milk farmed single handedly by his adoptee - he threw up all over the place, climbed out, and blasted billie piper in a lawnchair because he could. and then David Tennant came to my house and took me away in teh TARDIS an we moved to a cottage in Germany in the seventeen hundreds where age gaps didn't matter because marriages were arranged anyway. The End.