MovieChat Forums > Karen Carpenter Discussion > So sad what happened to her…

So sad what happened to her…

posted 4 years ago by andreaahr (2337)
13 replies | jump to latest

Anorexia is no joke. It completely takes over your mind to the point where you want to die if that means that you would die a thin person. I know this because I was anorexia for 3 and a half years. Those were the darkest days of my life. I was cold (literally freezing) every day because I had no fat on my body. My hair turned gray and was falling out. My ribs were noticeable when I would looked in the mirror. I was hungry all the time. What turned me around was I was sick one time to the point where I couldn’t even talk. I saw a vision of great grandmother who passed away and she came into my room and told me it was not my time yet. For some reason, that turned me around and I started to eat and get the help I needed. I wish Karen did not do this to herself but I understand the disease and how controlling it is. It’s sad that it took over her life and eventually killed her… 😞

[–] GolfnGuitars (3006) 2 years ago

I'm glad that you survived anorexia nervosa. It's a terrible thing and it's done a lot of damage to a lot of people over the years.

Today marks the 40th Anniversary of Karen Carpenter's death (02/04/1983). I can still remember how shocking her death was...it was really the first time I remember anorexia nervosa being talked about on the national stage. From what I've read and watched regarding her death, people close to her knew that she wasn't well...I agree, it's such a shame that she died so young. What a talented lady she was!

[–] andreaahr (2337) 2 years ago

Her voice was amazing and her songs were beautiful. When I listen to her songs, I hear a sadness in her voice. Anorexia makes you extremely depressed; I would cry all the time and feel nobody loved or cared about me; I even think Karen stated those exact feelings in one of her songs. I wish she would have gotten the help she needed to defeat this disease. She was such an amazingly talented lady.

[–] GolfnGuitars (3006) 2 years ago

I hear that sadness in her voice also. For all that she accomplished in her too-short life, she seemed to have a sadness about her (e.g., the situation with her husband, who she married and divorced pretty quickly). It goes to show yet again that fame and fortune cannot buy happiness.

Again, I'm glad that you survived anorexia nervosa. God has a plan for all of us...hang in there, best of luck to you.

[–] strntz (12658) 2 years ago

When I listen to her songs, I hear a sadness in her voice.

I saw her singing I Need to Be in Love live once and when she sang "there's someone in this crazy world for me", she rolled her eyes at that lyric like it was a dream that would never be realized. That stuck with me. She wasn't performing, she was relating to her own life. Sad.

Here, I found it:

https://youtu.be/G1r1GFSF8HM?t=15

[–] strntz (12658) 2 years ago

The sad thing is that with her type of singing, she would still be great even now and with the revival of a lot of talented acts, I think The Carpenters would be big on tour today, and probably a TV special (thinking Christmas) every few years.

[–] GolfnGuitars (3006) 2 years ago

Yes...I agree wholeheartedly. It's funny...there were people back in the day who made fun of their music (and image), but I think their music was really timeless. Richard Carpenter really had a great ear and a gift for coming up with these beautiful melodies to perfectly showcase Karen's voice.

The only thing that would have concerned me (and you alluded to it a bit in your previous post where she's singing, "I Need To Be In Love") is that Karen just did not seem to have a positive view of herself. I believe there was talk that her mother really pushed Karen hard (and that she favored Richard over Karen). Even with Karen suffering from anorexia nervosa, I thought she was a pretty lady (especially as she got older) and so talented. From what I've read/heard, she really wanted to get married and have kids, yet never did. She just seemed to have a lot of sadness in her life, even with all that she accomplished.

[–] Otter (24464) 2 years ago

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[–] Otter (24464) 2 years ago

I remember their heyday, and their image was so sqeaky-clean and white-bread that they were considered too '"square"to exist. Even a little nerd like me, who could recite every episode of Star Trek in order, thought they were hopelessly uncool!

The truth was that the Carpenter siblings were enmeshed in a deeoly dysfunctional and toxic family, and I consider it the great tragedy of Karen's life that she never broke away from them. What could she have been, what music could she have made, how healthy could she have been, if she'd ever come into her own? We'll never know.

[–] GolfnGuitars (3006) 2 years ago

Richard Carpenter talked about The Carpenters' image in one of their documentaries. Even though some people made fun of their sqeaky-clean image, as you mentioned, even a lot of the people who made fun of them recognized their talent. I think that's part of what made Karen's death so shocking in some ways.

It would have been interesting to see what direction(s) The Carpenters would have gone with their music had Karen lived. Karen could sing anything with that golden voice of hers and made it sound good. Hard to believe she's been gone over 40 years now.

[–] Otter (24464) 2 years ago

I'm.more interesred in what she might have done if she'd broken away from her toxic family and The Carpenters, the band was very much controlled by Richard. What would she have been if she'd freed herself from toxic relationships? Amazing? A no-talent at anything but singing? A happy normal person?

Something every recovering anorexic I've ever spoken to has said is "Eating was the only thing I could control". It's a way of coping with feelings of powerlessness, if being controlled by others. So what would she have been if she'd freed herself from the control of others?

[–] Wombat (26) 2 years ago

It has been said before I think but Karen could sing the phone book and make you cry, yes terribly sad, and a awful illness, which after her death, and possibly because of the publicity around her suffering from anorexia, began to be recognised and treated.

[–] liscarkat (18886) 2 years ago

Eat, or don't eat. It's a choice. She chose to destroy her health.

[–] Popcorngal (4875) 2 years ago

Hard to believe 40 years have passed. There are rumors she haunts the studios she use to record in.

[–] michaelDclarke (1878) 2 years ago

I bet back then Anorexia was not taken seriously as it was poorly understood. It was probably worse to suffer from that affliction back in the 70s/80s. Oh, how much times have changed since then.

--Michael D. Clarke