does no sex before marriage make for better/longer lasting bond?

IMHO it only makes for a better bond when at least one partner is a possessive psycho who thinks they own the other, and takes the whole process of waiting for the wedding night as proof of ownership.

Never marry someone who wants to wait until the wedding night. Find out what you're getting!

Older generations waited for marriage. More traditional. More willing to make marriage work. Divorce was less common with previous generations, but it wasn't as acceptable. People didn't live as long, too. Spouse died before you became sick of each other.

I was raised in a Christian household. I was taught to believe in waiting until marriage. I agree with it, but if you want to live together/ have a sexual relationship before marriage, it's your choice. I don't think it's the worst thing, but could be unwise. I think you're taking a much bigger risk of things not working out, but it works for some people.

I think that it probably does, because it typical comes with a traditional set of values, based on family, and if both people share those same values, they are probably higher than average to stay together. But I have no evidence to back that up.

Here's a link to research on this very topic. https://ifstudies.org/blog/does-sexual-history-affect-marital-happiness

Cutting right to the chase, here's the short and sweet summary....

"In sum, the surprisingly large number of Americans reporting one lifetime sex partner have the happiest marriages. Past one partner, it doesn’t make as much of a difference. The overall disparity isn’t huge, but neither is it trivial."

Here are the numbers from a couple of tables in the article....

Women -- "Table 1 shows how a women’s sexual biography affects the happiness of her marriage.2 The first column includes the baseline estimates. Women who’ve only slept with their spouses are, at 65%, most likely to report very happy marriages. Thereafter, there’s a decline that’s statistically-significant but modest in magnitude. The lowest odds of marital happiness, 52% in the baseline model, accord to women who’ve had six-to-10 lifetime sexual partners. Women who’ve had 11 or more lovers are a bit more likely to report happy marriages at 57 percent."

Men -- "Table 2 shows how men’s sexual biographies affect their marital happiness. As for women, men who report only one sexual partner in their lifetime are more likely to report very happy marriages. The benefits of one partner are slightly greater for men than for women: according to the baseline results, 71% of men with one partner are very happy in their relationship. This drops to 65% for men who report two or more sex partners. The happiness penalty for additional partners is modest, only a few percentage points. Adjusting for differences in marital history, socioeconomic status, and religion make little difference."

It does make sense. You save yourself for the one you're ready to spend the rest of your life with.

But given the stigma for being a virgin, and the fear of marrying someone with no sexual chemistry, most don't wait.

I'm sure many waited for their wedding night only to discover they were asexual, or homosexual, because they didn't 'rise to the occasion'. Hence non-consummation of marriage was always grounds to annul a marriage.

I have read articles that suggest the more sex partners women have the more trouble they have forming a bond or connection with men. Not sure if it also applies to lesbians.

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