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Yay or nay: getting married in a different country?

posted 2 years ago by samoanjoes (57790)
59 replies | jump to latest

My cousin is getting married this week in Hawaii. She and her fiance are not Hawaiian, don't know anyone from there, and has never been there before. I'm not going as I have absolutely no interest in Hawaii and don't want to spend so much money going somewhere I don't want to go. My dad (her uncle) is not going either and neither is my dad's brother as well as a few of our other cousins.

I don't understand why my cousin would want to get married in a different country. She's guaranteed to have less people attend than she would had she just stayed in Toronto. I think it's a lot to ask for people to spend so much money on a wedding to travel to a different country, to a place the marrying couple chose and expect people to take time off of work. Am I being harsh here?

[–] Wint3rFir3 (7269) 2 years ago

It's kind of a dick move in more ways than one, not only because of the current tourist problems Hawaii faces, but because it's intentionally meant to keep people with less money out of the wedding and it also makes no sense. What personal attachment could you have to a place you've never been and don't even know you'll like that you'll risk hosting one of the most significant and expensive parties of your life there? Most people honeymoon in Hawaii because it's economically sound and its less drama and chaos for the country of choice. Sure, if everyone in your family is in a physical and financial position to travel, it might make a little more sense, but still not much more. Like yeah it's her choice, but it doesn't mean it's a smart or sensible choice.

[–] samoanjoes (57790) 2 years ago

The thing is that the couple expects you to spend money on their wedding on a location that they chose. It's such a lot to ask for. If they wanted a small wedding, just invite a small group of people and say you just wanted the event to be quiet.

[–] Wint3rFir3 (7269) 2 years ago

Like I said, it would be fine if they knew their relatives could afford it, but that's clearly not the case. Most people can't afford a ticket to Hawaii and the accommodation and food, etc, plus it's likely they're not going in the off-season, so we're talking peak expense. And even just taking time off work to do all this is a big ask these days. The answer is, they don't expect it, they're purposefully excluding people who they deem too poor to celebrate their wedding, and it's rude. But hey if you don't like your relatives, it's a good way to get them to not come, but it's still a dick move.

[–] bogdonovich (63) 2 years ago

Only here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcAD6Rbn6e4

[–] Wint3rFir3 (7269) 2 years ago

It's kind of a dick move in more ways than one, not only because of the current tourist problems Hawaii faces, but because it's intentionally meant to keep people with less money out of the wedding and it also makes no sense. What personal attachment could you have to a place you've never been and don't even know you'll like that you'll risk hosting one of the most significant and expensive parties of your life there?

Most people honeymoon in Hawaii because it's economically sound and its less drama and chaos for the country of choice. Sure, if everyone in your family is in a physical and financial position to travel, it might make a little more sense, but still not much more. Like yeah it's her choice, but it doesn't mean it's a smart or sensible choice.

[–] beavis (3249) 2 years ago

Maybe the plane will crash and they will be wrecked.

[–] Stratego (30827) 2 years ago

So if the wedding is on Hawaii, do they spend the honeymoon back in Toronto?

[–] samoanjoes (57790) 2 years ago

I thought about this. If they're getting married in another country, what's the point of hopping onto another plane to have the honeymoon in another country?

[–] Stratego (30827) 2 years ago

So they're going to honeymoon in another country?

[–] samoanjoes (57790) 2 years ago

I'm assuming. I never asked her.

[–] [deleted] 2 years ago

no. the newlyweds usually stay on in the same country.

[–] AndyKing1967 (39249) 2 years ago

That would be funny.