MovieChat Forums > General Discussion > Why does everyone feel like they have to...

Why does everyone feel like they have to get married and have kids?

posted 4 years ago by MovieBuff224 (5053)
68 replies | jump to latest

I totally understand for people who genuinely WANT those things, but you and I both know plenty of people who do it because they feel like it’s what you’re supposed to do by a certain age and are either unhappily married or divorced. Me personally, as selfish as it sounds, rather enjoy doing whatever I want whenever I want. However, I realize this will eventually get old and I will get lonely, and based on how much I enjoy my nephews I’m fairly certain I want a family of my own. It’s just strange how almost everyone rushes to get married by 30-35 due to societal pressures.

[–] Otter (24464) 4 years ago

No, not everyone believes they have to get married and have kids, those things are optional and smart people know it. To illustrate this, I'll paraphrase a conversation I overheard at work, between three co-workers who were all around forty and earning good incomes. The co-workers were a straight man who was about to get married for the third time, a straight woman who'd had two kids out of wedlock, and a straight woman who'd never married or had kids.

* * *

Straight man: But you've got to get married and have kids! It's only natural!

Single mother: You don't have to get married to have kids, you know.

Straight man: But you should, everyone should. You have to share your life with someone.

Single woman: No, not everyone. Not everyone is meant to be married, or wants to be.

Single mother: There are lots of life choices available today, not everyone fits into one mold, etc etc.

* * *

I include the sex of the co-workers in case anyone still thinks that women are the only ones gung-ho about the institution of marriage.

[–] froggyandtoady (328) 4 years ago

Yes. I've been in similar situations. I've had several people ask me if I have kids, and look at me in pity when I say I don't. These people (both men and women) have had young kids that didn't even live in the same state as them. I guess they think my life would be more complete if I too had an out of state child.

[–] MaximRecoil (4649) 4 years ago

I'm not even remotely interested in having an albatross about my neck (wife), let alone multiple albatrosses (wife and kids). Also, by getting married, you're legally relinquishing ownership of all your money and property; not just what you currently have, but future earnings as well. Based on a whim, you can find yourself divorced, and then based on another whim, you can find that your money and property have been given away by a judge to someone else, and they can continue to give your earnings to someone else after the fact, indefinitely.

She Got the Goldmine (I Got the Shaft): https://youtu.be/oyqe8n-pbqQ

[–] Wint3rFir3 (7193) 4 years ago

As I get older, I try not to buy into that (get married/have kids vs. be selfish and abnormal) mind trap. Because it is a trap. That's not reality to me anymore. Not wanting to have kids or get married isn't selfish or abnormal, just like wanting those things doesn't necessarily make someone unselfish and normal. Don't let anyone stick you into that looped way of thinking, including yourself. Just do your own life.

[–] theWatcher74 (186) 4 years ago

Is that the case anymore? I think like a third of my cousins don't have kids and we are all 30+. It's fairily common based on what I've seen. i think the statistics show that too.