MovieChat Forums > General Discussion > This girl asked “so what exactly are you...

This girl asked “so what exactly are you looking for, like a friend w benefits or something more?”

posted 5 years ago by MovieBuff224 (5053)
17 replies | jump to latest

This is a deadly question and a test. If I respond friends with benefits and she’s not looking for that, it’s dead in the water. Hell even if she is looking for that it might not be what she wants to hear. So naturally I just said dating to play it safe. How would you have responded?

I am open to either, btw.

[–] kuku (3510) 5 years ago

It's a shit test. If you say that you're not looking for something serious, you're out. If you say you're looking for something serious, you're out.

What I would say, that I'm not looking for something serious, but I'm not closed to that possibility.

[–] MovieBuff224 (5053) 5 years ago

Exactly. What is the point of them doing that?

[–] Otter (24464) 5 years ago

I presume the point is 1) to find out whether the two of you want the same things from your time together, and 2) to find out if you're willing to give honest responses to questions.

If you actually want your time with someone to be happy, try giving honest responses, instead of what you think they want to hear. Things are so much more fun when two people are actually compatible.

[–] kuku (3510) 5 years ago

If you actually want your time with someone to be happy, try giving honest responses

That's a bad advice. The good advice is 'don't play with her feelings, but think what you say'.

Don't say that you're taking her seriously if you're not. That'd be playing with her feelings.

But at the same time, think what you say. If she's asking you about this (and that means this is more than a one-night encounter), she doesn't want to hear you're absolutely closed to a relationship, even if she is. Women want to feel that even if they're not looking for something serious, they're special enough to be considered as a possible serious thing if they were looking for it.

[–] Otter (24464) 5 years ago

Well some GOOD advice would be:

Don't take advice about sex from anyone on this forum!

[–] [deleted] 5 years ago

try giving honest responses

What kind of ridiculous dating advice is that!!

[–] [deleted] 5 years ago

[deleted]

[–] ducksoup (3933) 5 years ago

So she can reply, "Fuck buddies? Hmm... sounds gay."

[–] MovieBuff224 (5053) 5 years ago

Haha

[–] [deleted] 5 years ago

You can't tell her you are open to either than sounds worse than saying you just want a one night stand, which maybe what she is looking for.

That said, she might just be shit testing you.

Ask her if her mother is seeing anyone at the moment. Best to shit test her instead. A sense of humour is crucial in life.

[–] kuku (3510) 5 years ago

Ask her if her mother is seeing anyone at the moment. Best to shit test her instead.

That's very rude. Not a good idea.

[–] MovieBuff224 (5053) 5 years ago

Why does saying I’m open to either sound worse than a one night stand?

And what do you think is the point of a shit test?

[–] [deleted] 5 years ago

Because it makes it sound like you are hedging your bets and trying to get anything you can. Which in turn makes you sound like you don't care. Or like you won't make a stand on anything.

What is the point of a shit test? I have no idea but I know women like to apply them a lot. I think it might be to see how much shit a man will go through to try and get her. Ego tripping perhaps?

[–] MovieBuff224 (5053) 5 years ago

Yeah

[–] AndyKing1967 (39241) 5 years ago

"That depends on how much you charge."

More importantly, why wasn't she at the bar getting the drinks in?

[–] [deleted] 5 years ago

Be honest and go from there. If she doesn't like the honest response, you didn't want to jump through the hoops she was lining up for you, anyway.

[–] MovieBuff224 (5053) 5 years ago

Yeah