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I think people who are bothered/offended by quiet people are really insecure (especially in the workplace).

posted 5 years ago by Eric56 (4580)
12 replies | jump to latest

I seriously hate the fact that in a lot of workplaces you can't sit in a room full of people and just want to be silent without someone taking offence and thinking you're being rude and thinking you're better than them. I enjoy being quiet and introverted. I don't feel the need to constantly fill every second of silence with some pointless chatter. I think people who expect you to always want to talk to them have really fragile egos and simply can't handle the fact that not everyone wants to chit chat all the got damn time.

I don't mind listening. The issue for me is when people think that you HAVE to have an opinion and vocalize that opinion or else you're being rude and snobby. Unfortunately, introverts are frequently misunderstood people in the workplace.

[–] [deleted] 5 years ago

I can agree with that. I've had a lot of people accuse me of "hating them" just because I don't schmooze around with them.

[–] actionkamen (23176) 5 years ago

Depends on where you work at I guess. I was a computer programmer and I worked in an outsourcing company (that means we all were programmers, no marketing people, no MBAs etc. Even the CEO was a programmer himself) and most programmers are quiet and introverted by nature. So not a lot of chatter and nobody would ever be offended by your silence lol.

[–] Eric56 (4580) 5 years ago

The thing is in my career, I deal with patients all day. I can talk and socialize with patients because it's my job and I want to make them feel comfortable. No patient wants someone who doesn't talk to them. But away from patients, during my lunch/breaks, I like to have my downtime and "recharge". So, in a way, I'm a good "actor" in that I can socialize when I have to as per my job but away from my work, I'm the total opposite. It can be overwhelming talking to people all day that I need a moment to relax.

I do interact with coworkers with "Good morning", "How are you?", etc. But I'm not interested in hearing about their personal problems or gossip. They're my co-workers not my friends.

It's interesting because a lot of musicians and actors are like this way too. I've read a biography on Freddie Mercury and he was apparently a hardcore , quiet introvert who valued his private life. You wouldn't think he was like that based on his stage presence. I feel a similar way when I'm at work.

[–] MrRipEager (94) 5 years ago

Well they do say that it's always the quiet ones you've got to watch out for.

[–] Quasimodo (16388) 5 years ago

It's always the loud ones who think it's always the quiet ones...

[–] MrRipEager (94) 5 years ago

Now that's ironic, since I was actually the quiet one that people needed to watch out for growing up, as I used to do some quite terrible things to some people, who viewed me as being harmless at the time.

[–] Eric56 (4580) 5 years ago

Look at Ted Bundy, Charles Manson, John Wayne Gacy and many others. They were hardly "introverts" and were quite charming and affable.

It's better to be quiet than loud and obnoxious like alot of people are these days.

[–] MrRipEager (94) 5 years ago

They needed to be the way they were, as it was merely a means to an end for them. Its not that I don't agree with you, as I firmly believe in the old saying that those who talk just repeat what they already know, whereas those who listen learn things they don't. The only problem is that you also have to listen to a lot of nonsense along the way.

[–] [deleted] 5 years ago

I'm very quiet and have little to say most times.

We have a new boss at work who is trying all these wanky ideas to try and lift morale. She is putting people's birthday's on the board (she didn't ask if we wanted that), she has done a "Why I come to work" thing where people are supposed to put up photos of why they come to work, errr duh, money dumb bitch.

I just want to be left alone, I work hard and I do more than a lot of people there. It's work not a social club.

A lot of people at my work place are going through personal shit at the moment too. It's rough on them, don't get me wrong. But do I really need to be hearing about it? Maybe I'm old school but back in the day you were meant to leave your personal life at home.

[–] Eric56 (4580) 5 years ago

I hate it when extroverts try to "change" introverts. Yet, we don't go around trying to change them!

I lol'd at your boss trying to lift morale with the birthday thing. I would hate that.

I agree with you that it's work and not a social club. If I want to talk about my feelings, I'll go on Dr. Phil or Oprah Winfrey.

[–] [deleted] 5 years ago

We have one guy who is just an absolute suck and jumps on any trend going. Anyway as some people have put up photos of their partners, kids etc he was saying it was nice because he didn't get to see people's private lives otherwise.

Really? Who gives a shit?

I have been at my workplace for 20 years, never been asked when my birthday is, never volunteered it. And never had a problem with that, in fact I like it that way!

She is destroying morale with her motherly bullshit.

[–] Catbookss (13664) 5 years ago

I used to be very quiet and shy, up through high school. I found out later several people thought I was aloof or snobbish as a result, when really it was out of shyness.